Thursday, March 27, 2008

Top 10 Results Recap

Well, if you've been reading this blog regularly and already know what happened on tonight's results show, you'll probably have an idea of what kind of mood I'm in right now. If you don't know what happened, I'll take you through the proceedings, but you might detect some bitterness.

We start with a group performance from the Top 10. They sing Maxine Nightingale's "Right Back Where We Started From" and the girls are the only ones who get solos on it. Carly keeps kicking her leg up because she's annoying like that. It's more entertaining watching them try to do their choreography than actually listening to them sing. Whatever. I don't know if I'll even bother trying to track down an mp3 for this one. The group performances this year have been pretty bad, but this one may have been the worst.

We're treated to a behind-the-scenes look at the Idols recording their studio tracks for iTunes. Combover is wearing his Kansas City Royals cap again. Hey, I have an idea! How about America doesn't vote for Combover next week and he can sing the National Anthem at the Royals' home opener against the Yankees on April 8? It's amusing when Carpetbagger Carly tries to act like she's never been in a recording studio before. Yeah, I'm sure you just recorded the vocals for your major label album on a My First Sony and sent it to the engineer by UPS. What a fake.

Once again they're doing the results by having the contestants walk to center stage and sending them either to the stools or the couches. First is Chikezie. I predicted he'd be going home tonight, but I still hold out hope that he'll be safe. Unfortunately he's in the Bottom 3. Brooke White is next. She should be safe, and she is. Carpetbagger Carly is next, and she makes sure to tell us that the rumors of her being pregnant are false. Good. We don't need more tattooed freaks running around this country. Unfortunately, she's also safe.

After a real commercial we're treated to a Ford commercial, featuring "I Want You to Want Me" by one of my all-time favorite bands, Cheap Trick! It's about time they got some recognition on this show. Too bad it had to happen with such an unlikable bunch.

Mini-Carmen is next, and I'm starting to notice that he has a vaguely Jim Carrey-ish face. If the "Mini-Carmen" nickname gets stale I guess I can always change it to "Mini-Carrey". We all know he's going to be safe, and sure enough he is. Combover is next, and we find out that Chris Cornell, this week's inspiration for Combover's angsty arrangement, called to say he loved last night's performance. First Lionel Richie, now Chris Cornell. There's no doubt that Combover's going to be safe, and sure enough, he is. Now we get Snoha, who apparently had some sort of a "moment" last night despite not being very good. She's in the Bottom 3, just as I predicted! Hopefully she'll go home, because I can't stand her. Now it's Coaster. Predictably, he's safe, since American women apparently care more about eye candy than talent or past record deals.

After another commercial we see that Constantine Maroulis and Gina Glocksen are sitting together in the audience. I guess it's because they're co-hosting some "Idol"-related show that I've only heard about but never seen. I wasn't a fan of Gina last year, but she does seem like a nice girl. I sort of feel bad for her that she has to work with that greaseball. It's back to the fluffy phoned-in questions. I don't feel like going into too much detail here, so to sum things up: Chikezie is single, "You're the Voice" is one of Mini-Carmen's all-time favorite songs, Simon thinks Ryan's job doesn't require any special talent, Brooke would love to do a duet with John Mayer, and everyone thinks Simon is the best-looking person on the show.

Now it's time for this week's alumni spotlight. Kimberley Locke (best known as the answer to the trivia question: "Who finished in third place Clay and Ruben's year?") talks about her post-"Idol" life and sings a song from her latest album. My mother recognizes the song as one also done by country singer Clay Walker. Kimberley sure likes guys named Clay, doesn't she? I think she sounds a little out of tune, but it's an OK way to fill up space in an hour-long results show. I'm glad they're supporting the careers of their past contestants instead of casting them aside.

They show us a video of how "Idol Gives Back" has helped here in America. Good on them.

Finally we get more results. OSC is next. She obviously has the huge fanbase everyone believes she does, because she's safe despite going first last night. Now it's down to Cody and Mannequin. Ryan tells Mannequin that Lee Greenwood called and said he was proud of her. How much more name-dropping can we take this season? America voted and Mannequin is safe! Wow. My Bottom 3 prediction was exactly right! We have Chikezie, Snoha and Cody. I hope I'll be wrong about my elimination prediction though. Of course, The Code Man is first back to safety, leaving me to sweat it out for Chikezie a bit longer. After some meaningless chitchat with the judges, we get the final result. Syesha...is safe. Chikezie is going home. I called it, but I'm not happy about it at all. Excuse me while I go on a rant.

Is it too early to declare this season of "American Idol" a waste of time? Seriously, every single week someone I liked has gone home. Well OK, I was tired of the hoopla surrounding David Hernandez by Top 12 week, but I would've preferred to see him stay over the people he was in the Bottom 3 with (Snoha and Mannequin). The two contestants with the most personality have gone home the last two weeks. The only remaining contestant I really like a lot is Brooke. Yeah, I gave Ramiele a few votes last night because she's cute, adds some diversity to the show and isn't too planty, but I'm really not that attached to her. If Brooke goes home next week in a shocker I'll be tempted to give up on this season and join the Vote For the Worst movement. If anyone calls this Top 9 the best in "American Idol" history I'll laugh. Look at what we have left:

1. An underwhelming Australian with a past major label deal who gets by every week because of his looks.
2. A diva who seems completely obsessed with herself and oversings everything.
3. A scary Hibernian circus freak who was a past major label flop.
4. A goofball with dreadlocks and little singing experience who seems lost if he has to move on stage.
5. A pageant boy who thinks every song should be an uplifting anthem of love and harmony.
6. A country singer who can't grasp the concepts of pitch, personality, power or performance and lost a past major label deal that she only got because of her looks.
7. A diminutive diva who doesn't seem to know how to use her talent properly.
8. A run-of-the-mill post-grunge "rocker" who borrows someone else's arrangement each week and turns a popular song into a crapfest.
9. A wholesome beacon of sincerity and honesty who is now the only bright spot in this otherwise dull bunch.

OK, rant over. Let's finish recapping this results show. Chikezie is going home, and his family in the audience is classy enough to clap for Syesha, despite the fact that their boy has been eliminated. We see a video of Chikezie's journey, and all I can do is sulk over the injustice of it all as he sings his song one more time. I haven't been this upset about "Idol" since Melinda Doolittle was eliminated last year and that slimeball Blake Lewis made it to the finale. Speaking of Blake Lewis, I wonder if his open support of Chikezie made a few people decide not to vote for him? That's it! It's all Blake's fault! I knew he'd find some way to ruin this season. That talentless beatboxer needs to do the world a favor and fade into obscurity. Just think what magic we could've seen from Chikezie doing country music next week!

Power Rankings

9. Syesha Mercado - I'll say it again: She doesn't have a strong fanbase. Look at any internet poll about favorite contestants and you'll see her name near the bottom. She may pick up some of Chikezie's votes, but since he didn't have a very strong fanbase either I doubt it'll help her much. Since Kristy will be comfortable doing country music I expect us to be finally rid of Syesha and her ego next week.

8. Kristy Lee Cook - Top 8 week is supposed to be "Idol Gives Back", and if they do another "inspirational music" theme I expect Kristy's performance to be enervating enough that she'll be sent home at last.

7. Carly Smithson - Oh, what a shocker it'll be! I stand by my belief that she isn't connecting with enough people. Those "7" tattoos on her fingers will become even more appropriate when she goes home in this spot, the same one that Sanjaya went home in.

6. Michael Johns - Sorry, but he's just not that good. He was able to add some excitement to his performance this week, but I have a feeling he won't be able to keep doing that.

5. Ramiele Malubay - We've been hearing about how Filipino voters are incredibly supportive of their own, and that was clearer than ever this week. As I pointed out earlier, Ramiele went first and didn't even hit the Bottom 3. I expect her fans to keep her in this thing a while, even if it's becoming clear that she doesn't have what it takes to win.

4. Jason Castro - I'm running out of things to say about him. He's OK at what he does, but I don't see him as a real contender.

3. David Cook - For the first time this week someone ranked higher on DialIdol than David A., and it was David C. While he may have shown himself to be a strong candidate to win, I have a feeling that a lot of people in America are going to get tired of watching him doing the same routine each week and being called "brilliant".

2. Brooke White - She's been in this spot since I started my Power Rankings. I have nothing to add to what I said about her in past weeks. She's likable and pimped enough to get to runner-up.

1. David Archuleta - Yes, I'm sticking with him as the winner for now. He may be starting to lose some people, but I have a feeling that his likability will ultimately push him past David C.'s boring ripoffs.

Next week Dolly Parton is the mentor, and I'm not sure if they're doing a simple country theme or only her songs. Whatever it is, next week will be missing a key ingredient called Chikezie!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Top 10 Recap

Wow. This will probably not be remembered as one of my favorite weeks this season. Several people I don't like got good comments, and my favorite guy in the competition may be in danger. The theme is songs from the contestant's year of birth, and as people all over the internet have been saying, it's essentially another 80's week. I didn't love any of these performances, but I enjoyed watching my favorite people perform again.

First up is Ramiele Malubay. I think I have a new nickname for her: OSC, which stands for Overdone Song Choice. She did "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me", "Don't Leave Me This Way" and "Against All Odds" in the Semifinals, all of which had been performed more than once on the "Idol" stage. So which song does Ramiele pick this week from her birth year of 1987? Heart's "Alone", another "Idol" chestnut. It's that song every girl picks hoping it will give her a "moment" on the show, but it really only worked for Carrie Underwood here in America. Seriously, can't these contestants be more creative? As for the performance itself, I think Ramiele does a decent job with it. The vocal harmonies in the chorus take the pressure off the lead singer, and I think she pulls off the rest adequately. I wasn't blown away, but I'm glad Ramiele's trying to step up her game and challenge herself. Once again we see Danny Noriega in the audience supporting her. Randy, while he acknowledges that Ramiele is under the weather, says it was pitchy and not the right song choice. Paula says she gives Ramiele credit for being brave and picking that song when she was sick. Simon says he thought it was better than Randy said and that she'll get through. After the judges have spoken we find out that Ramiele isn't actually sick. So much for that sympathy you gave her, judges. Going first might make things hard for her, but I think the Filipino voters and Simon's endorsement will keep her in it.

Cody Lambert Castro, also born in 1987, is next, singing Sting's "Fragile". He seems to connect with the song well behind his guitar, but this dark stuff really isn't my thing. It's good for what it is, but I don't really have much to say about it. You know what I just realized? This is the third straight week where I haven't had much to say about this guy. He's actually starting to get a bit boring. While he'd be an interesting winner due to his lack of singing experience and goofy nature, I really can't see myself getting excited over anything he does with a music career. Randy says it was nice but not great. Paula says he was true to himself, but that he didn't do anything different. Simon says it was his second straight bad week, and that he needs to take the competition more seriously. I think Jason might be headed for the Bottom 3 soon, if not this week possibly the next.

Snoha is our third straight performer who was born in 1987. In the intro clip her parents say that when she was a kid she'd always get down on the floor and scream. That doesn't surprise me, as her performances these days consist mainly of screaming. She admits to being a crybaby and uses it as an opportunity to show us her creepy baby cry another time. Man, this girl annoys me. She sings "If I Were Your Woman", originally by Gladys Knight and The Pips but redone by Stephanie Mills in 1987. The intro sounds a bit off-key to me. Snoha's actress background is on full display, as she adds a sickening amount of melodrama to the song. The chorus has her usual nasal belting, and I still don't think I will ever like anything Snoha does. Randy says it was her best performance. Paula says it was a moment everyone will remember as when she became a dark horse in the competition. Simon says he didn't like it as much as Randy and that he thought the ending stretched the limits of her vocals. I'm worried that Snoha's going to keep getting pimped and that she'll stay in the competition longer than she deserves despite not having very many fans. Seriously, no one is talking about this girl. The only reason I've been able to put up with her this long is because I feel she doesn't have the fanbase to be a real contender. If the judges start trying to keep her in it this season's going to end up being worse than it already is.

Now we have Chikezie. He's singing Brenda Russell's "If Only For One Night", which was a hit for Luther Vandross in his birth year of 1985. There are a couple of minor pitch problems, but I really like Chikezie's soulful voice. There's nothing like a smooth R&B ballad. I'm worried that he chose a slow song that wasn't attention-grabbing enough, but I really do enjoy this performance. Randy feels it was "too old" and boring. Paula thinks he did a great job. Simon says he sang it well, but the performance was cheesy and not very original. Chikezie seems like he's trying to restrain himself from talking back tonight. I gave most of my votes to Chikezie this week, because I think he may be in trouble.

Next up is my other favorite, Brooke White. We find out in her intro clip that she can play the piano by ear. Pretty impressive. She sings The Police's "Every Breath You Take" from her birth year of 1983. She has to restart the beginning of the song after messing up briefly, which she's able to do since it's just her at the piano. I think this may be one of Brooke's best vocal performances. The band joins in the middle, and the song starts to deviate more from the original. As always, I enjoy Brooke. I'm not a big fan of this song, but she does a really good job with it. Randy and Simon both agree that they didn't like the band joining in at the end, but Paula says she enjoyed the performance more than last week's. Hey, is that Amy Davis in the audience? I'll bet 90% of the viewers have already forgotten her.

Up next is The Coaster. He's the only contestant born in the 70's, and he's doing the medley of Queen's "We Will Rock You" and "We Are the Champions" from 1978. From the first few off-key notes my mother labels it "not good". While I still think Coaster's voice is a bit annoying, I will say that this is probably his best performance, and I'm sure the judges are going to love it. Even if it wasn't as good vocally as it could've been the "rock star" light show will make it seem better than it was. Randy says it was his best performance. Paula says he finally found the right song. Simon says it was the first time he saw star potential in Michael and that it was the only memorable performance of the night so far. It looks like Coaster's going to avoid the Bottom 3 yet again.

Carpetbagger Carly is next. She's doing Jessica Sierra's signature song, 1983's "Total Eclipse of the Heart". Be careful, Carly. You're halfway to Sierra-ville already with all the drinking and tattoos. Honestly, this performance is bad. I still don't like the low tones in her voice, and there doesn't seem to be any real emotion in her singing. It feels like she's just yelling at us the whole time. For the last note she scrunches up her face and sort of squats. This girl gets more repulsive every week. Randy says he likes it but doesn't love it, and that it was a bad song choice. Paula loves it and says that Carly can do no wrong. Simon says it didn't quite work, and that she was too tense and uptight. I didn't enjoy it at all, but after last week's Bottom 3 "scare" (more like a glimmer of hope, as it was nowhere near as scary as watching Carly sing) she'll probably be safe.

Now it's Mini-Carmen's turn. He sings John Farnham's "You're the Voice", which was recorded by David Foster in his birth year of 1990. I've never heard this song, but he sings it all right. His facial expressions and voice seem a little weird as usual, but there's not too much to complain about. The song is your standard Up With People "let's all get along" type of tune. It's nothing you haven't heard before, but little David is in no danger of going home at this point in the competition. Randy says it was very nice. Paula loves him. Simon doesn't like it and says it reminds him of a theme park performance. Simon also says that he'd be surprised if Mini-Carmen chose that song himself. Is that a subtle reference to Archuleta's stage dad? We could be in for some drama this season.

The Mannequin That Won't Die is next, and she's doing Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" from her birth year of 1984. Oh, man. This girl is smarter than she looks. She'll live to see another week by playing the patriotism card. Since this song is kind of country it fits her style. She's still the same robotic, unemotional, pitch-challenged Mannequin we've seen all year, but I have a feeling it won't matter because she chose this song. Randy once again thinks it was very nice. Paula says it was a good song choice and that Kristy's voice sounds stronger. Simon says it was her best performance and a clever song choice. I'm going to make a bold prediction: Despite Kristy's lack of talent she won't be in the Bottom 3 this week.

The pimp spot goes to The Combover, who's doing Chris Cornell's version of Michael Jackson's "Billie Jean". Sheesh, does he ever do a song that isn't rearranged for his alt-rock style? Combover gives us yet another dreary bore-rock performance, but by hitting some massive glory notes he manages to impress my mother. Look, the guy knows how to use his voice, but I have never been able to figure out the appeal of this style of music. The judges give him some heavy pimping. Randy calls him the most original, bold contestant they've ever had. Umm, no. He does the same thing every week. There's nothing original about this style of music at all. For crying out loud, even Blake Lewis (whom I loathe) was more original than this guy. Paula says she was blown away and then goes on with more talk about how he could win the whole thing. Simon says it was brave and amazing. Argh. It appears that Combover may be the new chosen one. I guess I can still hold out hope for a Daughtry-style shocker. As long as we're on the subject I want to say how much I hate Kurt Cobain and the entire worthless Seattle grunge movement. I grew up listening to the "oldies" station and continued well into my teens because all I'd ever hear on the current radio stations was dull, depressing crap. "Rockers" these days are all going down this boring "post-grunge" route started by Cobain's loser followers. Someone needs to come along and save the hard rock genre, because it's dying. I already miss Amanda Overmyer. She knew what rock 'n roll really was. Anyway, back to "Idol".

It's hard to predict the Bottom 3 this week, since some of the less-popular performers seemed to step it up and some of the more-popular performers seemed to falter. After giving it some thought I'm going to say:

Bottom 3: Jason, Syesha, Chikezie
Going Home: Chikezie

I hate writing that, as Chikezie is one of only two contestants that I look forward to each week. While I hardly think he gave the worst performance, I think the people who did worse than him all have stronger fanbases or were more memorable, leaving him as the one going home by default. I really hope I'm wrong, but someone I liked has gone home each week this season. It's really starting to depress me.

Also Vulnerable

Ramiele

Probably Safe

Brooke
Carly
Kristy

I'd Be Shocked

Michael
David A.
David C.

Whom I Voted For: Ramiele, Chikezie, Brooke

With all my favorites going home I have fewer people to vote for each week. It'll be sad but unsurprising if I'm left with only two tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Welcome to My New "American Idol" Blog!

Greetings, fellow lovers of the internationally-famous karaoke competition!

I have another blog that I started for the purpose of writing about whatever was on my mind. However, it seems that it's mostly been used for my recaps of "American Idol". Since I spend so much time on these recaps I figured it'd be better to give the "American Idol" stuff its own blog and save the original blog for my personal stuff.

Since we're in the middle of Season 7, here are the links to the recaps I've already written:

Top 24 Preview
Top 12 Guys Recap
Top 12 Girls Recap
Top 24 Results Recap
Top 10 Guys Recap
Top 10 Girls Recap
Top 20 Results Recap
Top 8 Guys Recap
Top 8 Girls Recap
Top 16 Results Recap
Top 12 Recap
Top 12 Results Recap
Top 11 Recap
Top 11 Results Recap

If you're just discovering this blog, I'll give you a briefing of what goes on around here.

First, here are my nicknames for the current contestants:

Mini-Carmen - David Archuleta. His physical resemblance and vocal similarities to 70's singer-songwriter Eric Carmen led me to dub him thus. Seeing as how he's also a teenage Mormon from the state of Utah like Season 2 contestant Carmen Rasmusen, it sort of works that way too.

Carpetbagger Carly - Carly Smithson, the girl who can't stop talking about how Irish she is yet wants to win the title of "American Idol".

Snoha - Syesha Mercado was told she was in the Top 24 by Paula, who mentioned that the word "yes" was part of her name. Due to Syesha's vanity and strong tendency to oversing, I thought it was only appropriate to replace that "yes" with a "no", because that's what I say to her. Am I creative or what?

The Mannequin - Kristy Lee Cook. Her lifeless singing, lack of movement and so-perfect-they're-boring looks remind me of a plastic clothing model.

Cody Lambert - Jason Castro. If you ever watched the show "Step By Step" you may remember spaced-out cousin Cody, who looked and acted sort of like Jason (minus the dreads).

The Coaster - Michael Johns. He got tons of hype coming into the Top 24, but he's coasted along with nothing but bad-to-mediocre performances since then. Due to that initial hype (and the fact that women like to drool over him) he's still in the competition, but he's probably not good for much besides protecting your finished table from drink condensation.

The Combover - David Cook. If you've seen his hair you know why. Is there no limit to my creativity in coming up with these nicknames?

The other three remaining contestants don't have nicknames because I can't think of anything good for them. Coincidentally, they also happen to be my two favorites (Brooke White and Chikezie) and another that I've been voting for just because she's cute and brings a different look to the show (Ramiele Malubay).

For every performance show I predict the Bottom 3 and who'll be eliminated. I sort the rest of the contestants by how vulnerable I think they are. The categories (with descriptions in parentheses) are:

Also Vulnerable (I think these people could also find themselves in the Bottom 3)
Probably Safe (I don't expect to see any of these people in the Bottom 3, but I might be able to explain it if it did happen)
I'd Be Shocked (self-explanatory)

For every results show I update the Power Rankings, which tell you where I think each contestant is likely to finish based on what we've seen so far and why.

So now that you have a little introduction to my "American Idol" blog, I hope you keep coming back to read my recaps and various other thoughts about the show. If you have a Google account, feel free to leave me a comment.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Top 11 Results Recap

There's only one person left in this competition who won't be on the tour this summer. Which one will it be though? I predicted Amanda would be the one to leave tonight, but boy, do I hope I'm wrong.

Before they get to the rest of the show Ryan announces this year's celebrity mentors, and they are Dolly Parton, Mariah Carey, Andrew Lloyd Webber and Neil Diamond. Darn. No Micky Dolenz this year. They can put him in the audience but they can't make him a mentor. I assume Dolly Parton will be for Country Music Week, Andrew Lloyd Webber may be for Musicals Week, Neil Diamond will probably get his own theme week, and I have no idea what Mariah Carey would be for. If they do a theme week for her music they're practically begging for a disaster.

The contestants sing another Beatles medley, and it's just as dull as last week's. The guys sing "While My Guitar Gently Weeps", a song I've never really liked. The next song is "Here, There and Everywhere", one of my favorites. Brooke and Ramiele are apparently supposed to be singing together at one point, but it sounds like Ramiele's microphone isn't turned on. All the girls get a solo on this song except Amanda. Gee, I wonder why. Next is "Because", another song I've never been particularly fond of. Amanda looks really uncomfortable standing in this circle singing. Finally Amanda gets her solo on "The End", although she's drowned out for most of it by the other singers.

Because the Top Ten get to go on tour, they're making the announcement a really dramatic thing. I don't recall them doing that before. The first one called is Brooke White. They talk about her performance last night, and she goes on about how she was out of her zone or whatever. Stop wasting our time. We know she's not going home. Ryan then tells her she's in the Top Ten, which makes her pretty happy as you'd expect. As Brooke walks over to the safety of the couches Carpetbagger Carly Smithson is already at center stage. OK, we know she's in the Top Ten too. Let's not draw this out. What?? Carly's in the Bottom 3? Hey, I'm happy, but I wasn't expecting that. Of course, she'll most likely be the first one sent back to safety. David Archuleta is next, and to the surprise of no one he's in the Top Ten. Michael Johns has to face the music next, and we all know his dead friend will keep him out of the Bottom 3 tonight. He's safe too.

After a real commercial they give us a behind-the-scenes look at the filming of the Ford commercial. That's cool, I guess. It's nice to see the Idols having fun with each other. The song this week is The Clash's "Should I Stay or Should I Go?" and the setting is an old-fashioned B-grade science fiction movie from the 50's. I don't like it as much as last week's, but it's fun, I guess. I wonder how much of the money they spend on these Ford commercials could be put to better use elsewhere.

Back to the results. David Cook is in the Top Ten. Kristy Lee Cook is back in the Bottom 3 where she belongs. Jason Castro is in the Top Ten. They try to create some drama when announcing that Ramiele Malubay is in the Top Ten, and her nervous facial expressions are cute.

After another commercial break it's time for the audience questions. Since the questions are more silly fluff that I don't feel like recapping I'll just skip them again. After that it's time for Kellie Pickler. They show us a video of Kellie highlighting her time on "Idol" and what she's been doing since then. Whoop-dee-doo. She's performing "Red High Heels" this week. I'm not sure why she's going back to her first single rather than her latest one, but I don't make these decisions. It's funny how Kellie's been back to perform twice and she only finished in sixth place. Taylor Hicks won and the only time he's been back was for last year's finale. Then again, we all know they're trying to pretend Taylor never won, so it's not altogether surprising. Kellie's voice doesn't sound the strongest in her performance, but there is some unintentional comedy when she stands right in front of Randy and he's clearly checking her out. Ryan even mentions it after the song is over. Randy's such a horndawg.

They also show us a video of where the "Idol Gives Back" money went. They apparently sent Fantasia and Elliott Yamin to Africa to be ambassadors for the cause. Fantasia sings "Amazing Grace" for them (pulling a Kristy Lee Cook, eh?) and Elliott is named the godfather of a newborn baby, which moves him to tears. Well, good for them. I hope it changes the lives of these African families.

Three contestants left. Syesha Mercado is in the Top Ten, on song choice rather than talent, of course. The last person to be declared safe is Chikezie, which means Amanda Overmyer completes our Bottom 3. I predicted two out of three correctly just like last week, so I guess that means I officially almost rock.

This Bottom 3 is a motley crew. We have a carpetbagger, a mannequin and a true rocker. Ryan calls Carly's name first, and while I know he's probably going to send her back to safety I'm hoping he's going to tell her she's been eliminated. Nope, my gut was right. She's in the Top Ten. It's down to Amanda and Kristy, just as I suspected, and I predicted that Amanda would be going home. America voted, and...Kristy is safe again. Amanda, the only true rocker left in the competition, is going home. I guess I understand though. Why would you want to watch an entertaining performer when you can watch a mannequin? Do you know what this means, hippophiles? It means Kristy's going to go on the tour, and she's going to make a lot of money, and she'll be able to buy her horse back, and you can stop voting for her minimally-talented behind! Sheesh. Sorry, but Amanda is just so darn cool. I'm only glad I saw this coming, because if I'd been shocked again like last week I would've been a lot more upset.

Amanda, ever the level-headed girl, doesn't seem too shaken up by the news. She's even smiling. Kristy seems more upset by the elimination than Amanda does. After the highlight video Amanda says 11th Place out of all the people who tried out is nothing to be ashamed of. She sings "Back in the USSR" again and forgets the lyrics a few times. Well, I guess if she's only trying to get publicity for her live shows she'll certainly be able to pack the houses for a while, since there are lots of people looking for a real rocker these days. Sure, we still have David Cook, but let's be honest, when he gets a record deal he'll just put out an album of bore-rock crap like Daughtry. I might actually buy an Amanda Overmyer album. It would've been really interesting to see what she would've done had she continued in the competition, but we'll never know now. Good luck Amanda, and keep on doing your thing.

Power Rankings:

10. Kristy Lee Cook - Unless she gives the performance of her life (which I don't believe she has the talent to give) I honestly think her time is up next week. Even Simon said he doesn't see her getting higher than 10th Place, and she seemed fine with that. Now that we know she'll be getting her horse back I think the voters are ready to let her bow out gracefully and not turn into another Sanjaya.

9. Syesha Mercado - I'm getting the impression more and more that there are a lot of fans who don't like her (heck, I'm one of them). Her song choice saved her this week, and next week the only thing that should save her is Kristy's sheer crappiness.

8. Michael Johns - He just hasn't shown us anything special. Even after the first week of Semifinals when he was one of the three guys everyone was talking about (along with Jason C. and David A.) I didn't think he was that impressive. If it weren't for his looks and early pimping I think Michael would've gone home already. I think he's going to be our first early frontrunner to fall.

7. Ramiele Malubay - Again, the only reason I think she'll last this long is because of the Filipino voters. I think Ramiele has potential, but based on what she's shown us so far she doesn't have the composure or performance ability to be a real contender.

6. Chikezie - I realize most prognosticators don't see Chikezie getting this far, but I have a hunch that the one-named man has a few tricks up his sleeve that'll keep him getting votes for a while.

5. Carly Smithson - I've already theorized that she won't connect with America enough to win, and her Bottom 3 appearance this week may be the first sign that I'm right.

4. David Cook - Chris Daughtry went home in this spot, and in odd-numbered seasons a frontrunner has always left here. While the judges and many fans are behind David, he seems to be falling into the "too much of the same thing" trap that Daughtry did. He's probably better off not winning anyway.

3. Jason Castro - Even though he doesn't have a very strong voice, no one seems to consider him a weak contestant who deserves to go home. I think his personality could get him this far, but I don't see him as original or talented enough to make the finale.

2. Brooke White - For now I'm sticking with her as this year's runner-up, since I still believe a good portion of America has been charmed by her (I know I have). A lot of people find her boring, and some people thought it was annoying the way she talked to the judges this week, but she hasn't appeared to be in any danger of going home yet.

1. David Archuleta - OK, I have him back at number one. After last week's performance I thought it was the beginning of the end for him, but the way he consistently blows everyone else away on DialIdol is enough to convince me that he has the fanbase to win the whole thing.

I'm not sure what the theme for next week is going to be, but after two straight weeks of The Beatles I'm ready for something new.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Top 11 Recap

Last week the theme was the Lennon-McCartney songbook. This week it's simply "The Beatles". Does this mean they can sing songs written by George Harrison or even one of the two written by Ringo Starr? Perhaps it includes their solo work? I'm not sure, but since I like The Beatles I'm sure I'll enjoy another week of their songs. The contestants all talk about their most memorable moments on "Idol" so far in their intro clips, but seeing as how it's still relatively early in the competition they really aren't all that interesting.

The death spot goes to our true rocker, Amanda Overmyer. She's singing "Back in the USSR", which seems like a good choice for her. The vocals start out a bit weak, and she sounds more like she's speaking than singing at times. She eventually gets it together though, and I enjoy her performance once again. She finally changes the male perspective to a female one, talking about the "Ukraine guys" and "Moscow boys" in the bridge. Amanda's lucky she got a lot of early screen time, because it seems like she's finally learning to play the "Idol" game. She's making better song choices, showing more personality and adapting the songs to her style better. Randy says it was pitchy in the beginning, but overall he gives her a 7 out of 10. Paula says Amanda was off the beat a few times, but she likes her authenticity. She also says she'd like to see Amanda change it up and do a ballad sometime. Simon says it was predictable, a mess in parts, and that she's becoming boring by doing the same thing every week. Amanda responds by saying ballads are boring, and that she's trying to give people an idea of what they'd see if they came to her show. As much as I like Amanda and enjoyed her performance, I think she could be in trouble this week. Not only is she going first, but people might be bored by her doing generally the same thing as last week. Of course, Chris Daughtry did the same thing every week at this point in the competition and he got pretty far, so who knows?

Mannequin Lee Cook is up next, but Ryan chats with her first. She shows off her photo book, since America's been grabbing at straws to find anything interesting about her. She sings "You've Got to Hide Your Love Away". The backing music is lush and dramatic, unlike the simple arrangement of the original. She actually shows some range this week, but her voice is still dull and her movements are still mechanical. She ends the song with a huge glory note that I had no idea she was capable of hitting. My mother actually likes this performance and thinks it has something of a country feel, but I still want Kristy gone. Randy says it needed more emotion. Paula says it was too safe, but it was good. Simon says she's not a good performer, and that she doesn't make an impact. Kristy says she hopes she's back next week, then points to Simon in a marionette-like fashion and tells him that she can blow him out of his socks and he knows it. I'll take the high road by not commenting on that statement. I really don't think Kristy deserves to be in this competition anymore (of course, I didn't think she deserved to be in it past the first week), but she apparently has a lot of fans keeping her around. For some reason I see her surviving the Bottom 3 once again, but let's hope I'm wrong.

Mini-Carmen has the next spot, and he's singing "The Long and Winding Road". I guess with a slow song it's easier to remember the lyrics. His vocals sound really good this week, as they actually project and don't seem drowned out by the music like they often do. There's not much to say about this performance except that David has definitely regained his footing after last week's slipup. Randy says he brought the hotness back, but that he could've taken some risks by adding runs. You hear that, Mini-Carmen? America needs melisma! Paula loves it. Simon says it was amazing. My mother says that David is too emotional and needs to mature. We all know he's safe for this week though.

Michael "Coaster" Johns is doing "A Day in the Life". Why on earth do people select these complex songs? It's just like when people do "Bohemian Rhapsody" (Michael's most memorable "Idol" moment from Hollywood, don't you know). Cutting down a song for the "Idol" stage takes away its impact. Michael is off-key throughout much of this performance, and his rough voice precludes the ethereal quality of the "ah-ah-ah" part. The whole thing is just weird and disjointed. I'll give him credit for being ambitious, but it wasn't good. Randy says it was the wrong Beatles song for him. Paula says he was obviously having trouble adjusting to the ear monitor, because it can make you lose the connection to the song and audience. Simon says it was a mess. After the judges are done Ryan realizes Michael isn't using an ear monitor, so Paula changes her comment to say that Michael needs to raise his game. Michael then mentions that he picked the song in honor of a friend who died last year. Good strategy, Michael. Keep those sympathy votes coming.

At long last we get a non-Lennon-McCartney song, as Brooke White is doing George Harrison's "Here Comes the Sun". Ryan chats with her before the performance, and she talks about how she got to go home and see some relatives from Nova Scotia this past week. She also says "Hey Dave!" to her husband in the audience, which reminds me of a certain incident with Chris Sligh last year. The performance itself can only be described as "sunny". She's wearing a yellow dress that makes her look like Big Bird, she exudes her usual cheery personality, the screen in the background is flashing oranges and yellows, and of course, the song is about the sun. She starts out sitting on the steps but moves to center stage acting like a wind-blown feather after the first verse. Doggone it, I don't care if her voice isn't the best, I just can't help but like Brooke. She's so captivating. My mother doesn't really like this performance, but I think it's cool. Randy says it was awkward, and he didn't think she connected to the song. Paula says it was too safe but that she couldn't help but smile. Simon says it was terrible. It may not have been her best performance, but I don't think she's going anywhere right now.

David Cook is next, and I'm wondering how he's going to bore-rock us this week. In his intro clip he's seen wearing a Kansas City Royals cap, which may account for all the national TV exposure that team gets this year. He's doing "Day Tripper", and it's basically what we expect from David Cook. He's playing the guitar again, and he even adds a guitar solo with a voice box. Well, that's certainly something new for "Idol". He kind of has the Blake Lewis weird mouth thing going for him. My mother liked it, and I agree it's OK. Randy says it was solid and like being at a David Cook concert. Paula says he's ready to sell records now. Simon says he didn't think it was as good as David thought it was, that the vocoder was stupid, and that he's losing the element of surprise. Still, I think David's got a long way to go before he'll have to worry about elimination.

Now it's time for Carpetbagger Carly. She makes a reference to being European in her intro clip. Get a clue, Carly. If you really want to win you'll stop playing up the Irish angle. Americans won't want to give the title of "American Idol" to a girl who seems to consider herself Irish first and American second. She sings "Blackbird", a song that doesn't suit her style at all. I don't feel any warmth in her voice, and she even adds some belting at the end. I know they expect you to show off vocally on this show, but it doesn't work on a song like this. They also zoom up really tight on her face at the end of the song, and Heaven help me if I ever see Carly that close up again. Randy says it was very nice, Paula loves it, and Simon says it was indulgent. Carly then gives the judges a speech about how she picked that song because she felt that it related to the experience the Idols were all going through having been beaten down trying to break into the industry. Whatever, Carly. She also shows off her new 7's tattooed on her fingers. Once again, the tattoos are being shoved down our collective throat. I think if parents want to convince their children not to get tattoos Carly's unattractive ink may do the trick.

Cody Lambert Castro is singing next. This week he's putting down the guitar again to do "Michelle". His vocals remain only so-so, and his goofiness is really what carries the song. My mother calls it a throwaway performance. Randy didn't feel a connection. Paula says he has a distinct charm, but that there's a disconnect without the guitar and the performance was awkward. Simon says Jason's face sold it, and echoes my line about how his goofiness was what made it work. That does it. I should be a judge on this show. The judges have been stealing my lines all season.

Snoha Mercado surprisingly didn't get the pimp spot tonight, but she may as well have since she got the song most people probably wanted: "Yesterday". She looks kind of like Brenna Gethers with her new hairstyle this week. I guess I can always hope she avoids getting votes because people mistake her for Brenna. She's surprisingly subtle for most of the song, but my nerves are jarred when she lets out a random shriek-belt in the middle. Oh, Syesha. We knew you couldn't restrain yourself that long. That high note completely mars the performance for me, as it doesn't fit with the rest at all. She's letting her inner actress out, as she sounds like she's trembling from sadness through most of the song. It seems contrived though, not sincere. Randy says it was very, very, very good. Paula says she likes her vulnerability but that she needs to connect better. Simon says it was probably her best performance so far, but that it still wasn't great and it was her song choice that really helped her. I think Simon sums up my thoughts pretty well.

Now we've got Chikezie, the guy I'm rooting for. He's doing "I've Just Seen a Face", which I know I've heard before, though I can't recall where. He starts out slow and ballad-y, and it sounds pretty good. Suddenly there's a harmonica break (played by Chikezie himself) in the middle which seems a bit odd, and the song then switches into full bluegrass mode. Word was that one of The Clark Brothers was playing the dobro tonight on "Idol", but I'll bet not many people expected it to be for Chikezie. The fast portion of the song is fun, and Chikezie even seems to be impersonating Elvis a little at points. You know what? I don't care what anyone says, Chikezie rocks. He can't keep doing this "start slow, then kick into high gear" thing every week, but I like that he's a fun performer. I guess if we can't have Alexandréa Lushington in the Finals Chikezie will serve us well as the "unpredictable" contestant. He's not just another Donny Hathaway/Luther Vandross wannabe, he incorporates all kinds of styles into his performances. Randy says it was a weird, strange arrangement. Paula loves that he showed off his different sides. Simon says it started OK, but he thought it became too gimmicky. I hope he sticks around, but being one of the underpimped contestants and doing something similar to last week could put him in danger.

Finally, we get Ramiele Malubay in the pimp spot. She's doing "I Should Have Known Better" in order to liven things up. Good move, Ramiele. She's wearing a hat this time, which I guess helps her stand out visually. Again, good move. Honestly, Ramiele has a good voice, but she always sounds nervous to me. Her vocals seem too timid, similar to Sanjaya last year. She's certainly better than Sanjaya, but I always feel like she's not singing to her full potential. This week's is definitely her most fun performance to date, but she needs to show a bit more emotion. Randy likes it, and says she showed more confidence. Performance-wise, yes, but vocally, no. Paula likes it too. Simon says the backing track sounded amateurish and that it was a mediocre song choice. Well, I thought it was pretty good. The pimp spot should be enough to keep Ramiele safe.

This week it becomes harder to predict the Bottom 3. The ones who were there last week might get some extra votes this time, since their fans perceive them as being in danger. Still, it's not always clear who has a strong fanbase that would do that and who doesn't. Strength of performance is still important as well. I could be way off, but here's what I predict:

Bottom 3: Amanda, Kristy, Chikezie.
Going Home: Amanda

Kristy wasn't that great, but she seems to have more lives than a cat. Chikezie's performance was too similar to last week's, but I don't think it's his time to go home yet. Amanda went first and probably doesn't have the fanbase to overcome it. I hope I'm wrong though, and that Kristy goes home.

Also Vulnerable

Michael

Probably Safe

Brooke
Carly
Jason
Syesha
Ramiele

I'd Be Shocked

David A.
David C.

Whom I Voted For: Amanda, Brooke, Chikezie, Ramiele.

Tomorrow we'll find out which of our Top 11 will not be appearing on this year's tour. If anyone here deserves to be on a national tour it's Amanda, so hopefully she got more votes than I thought. Don't miss my Results Show recap tomorrow!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Top 12 Results Recap

The Finalists are all together for the last time tonight (well, until the finale, of course). One of them is going home, and hopefully it'll be someone I don't like.

Jim Carrey's in the house! He's dressed like Horton to promote the new Fox movie Horton Hears a Who! Good thing he has enough of a sense of humor to do something like that.

Ryan tells us that Beatles week got such a good response that they'll be repeating the theme next week! Well, how do you like that? Wasn't next week's theme supposed to be the iTunes Top 100 or some such B.S.? I'd rather hear more Beatles any day.

Now it's time for a cheesy group number. These are usually fun. They're doing a medley of Beatles songs (who would've guessed that?). I guess no one will be picking any of these songs for next week's show. They start with Michael and Carly, the non-American plants who are inexplicably pimped, harmonizing on "All My Loving". You can barely hear Michael's voice above Carly's. Michael then has to harmonize with Kristy and you can still barely hear him. There are solo lines from other contestants, but they're all drowned out by the band. They also do "I Feel Fine", "Can't Buy Me Love" and "Help!", and truth be told, everyone sounds pretty bad on this medley. It had a lot of potential, but it was just awkward because none of them sounded good. They cut to random shots of Jim Carrey in the audience throughout the medley, presumably to distract us from the dismal singing. If this is indeed the best Top 12 ever you wouldn't know it from seeing this episode. Hey, Sanjaya and his sister are in the audience! I hope the siblings Malakar take over Constantine Maroulis' role as the former contestants who are in the audience every other show.

Finally it's time for results. Ryan asks Carly Smithson, Michael Johns, Jason Castro and Syesha Mercado to stand up. Carly's safe. No surprise. Michael's safe. No surprise. Jason's safe. No surprise. Syesha's in the Bottom 3. Yes! There is hope we won't have to sit through another of her boring performances! They make Syesha sing her song one more time. Oh, they're back to doing this? Good, I can save space on my tape. On the downside though, we have to sit through another boring Syesha performance.

After the commercial break they jump right into the Ford commercial, which has the Idols as political candidates singing Cake's (the band, not Chris Richardson and Blake Lewis) "The Distance". There's a creative concept. Something tells me Carly would keep her tattoos covered if she were actually running for office though. Her husband probably wouldn't be making any public appearances with her either. If they're all vying for the same office we know it isn't President, because Carly, Michael and Ramiele were all born outside the U.S.

They show a video of the Idols attending the premiere of Horton Hears a Who! There's nothing that interesting here. They're given some fake elephant ears to wear, but Amanda's the only one who's too cool to put them on (which some of us who saw the photos of the event earlier already had noticed). I'll say it again: Amanda is the real rocker in this competition.

It's time for more results. Ryan has Chikezie, Amanda Overmyer, David Cook and Kristy Lee Cook stand up, as if it weren't obvious which one is in the Bottom 3. Ryan tells Chikezie to "come down here". Once he observes that Chikezie isn't sweating he tells him he's safe. We all knew it was a fake-out though. Amanda's safe, as she should be. David C. is safe, as we all expected. Kristy had already anticipated that she was in the Bottom 3, and we get to hear her butcher "Eight Days a Week" one more time. Sanjaya's standing up for it. She's doing his legacy as the worst contestant proud.

They take questions from America, and most of it is silly fluff. It is amusing though, when they ask Jason which judge he'd like to be and he seems to have no idea what to say. They'll probably be asking Jason something every week (if they continue this calling in feature) just because his awkwardness makes good TV.

Katharine McPhee performs The Beatles' "Something" with David Foster on the piano. Oh goody, I can save more tape space. She does a good job singing it (and she's quite easy on the eyes), but the best version done on "American Idol" still belongs to the guy she was runner-up to. I hope they bring back Taylor sometime this season. I won't pause the tape for that.

After the commercial Jim Carrey's sitting with the contestants. That guy never misses an opportunity to act like a goof on camera, does he? Ryan has the last four contestants come to center stage. David Archuleta is safe. What? Get out of town. Brooke White is safe. I don't know about you, but my jaw just hit the floor. That leaves David Hernandez and Ramiele Malubay. Ramiele is safe! They show "Ramiele's Family and Best Friend" in the audience and her best friend is Danny Noriega! He's like a cockroach. You can't get rid of him. I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of Danny this season. David, our latest addition to the Bottom 3, sings his song one more time and doesn't get into it nearly as much as he did the first time.

The judges all think America got the Bottom 3 right. Paula babbles about how it's the strongest Bottom 3 in "Idol" history. What about when the Three Divas were the Bottom 3, Paula? They're taking this "best talent ever" thing to ridiculous levels. Ryan sends one person back to safety and it is...Syesha! Rats! I was hoping Kristy and Syesha would be the Bottom 2. Then I win either way. It's down to the Stripper and the Mannequin, and America chooses...The Mannequin? What? Sure, David gave a weak performance last night, but Kristy's was far worse. I guess the "scandal" finally caught up with David. Still, Kristy's dancing video for the Top 24 reminded me more of a stripper than anything David's done on this show. Since he's already performed his swan song, we watch David's farewell video as the credits roll. I just hope next week we're watching clips of Kristy backed by Ruben Studdard's voice, because she's been awful since the beginning. It's amazing how far you can get with minimal talent and the right pimping.

Hey, weren't they supposed to tell us who the guest mentors for this season were? Are they just going to release it to the press rather than telling us on the show? Eh, whatever.

Power Rankings:

I thought I'd go into more detail about my rankings this time.

11. Kristy Lee Cook - Next week I'm guessing they'll perform in roughly the reverse of the order they performed in this week, which means Kristy will be singing early in the show. We have yet to see a good performance from her, so assuming that trend continues her early slot might be enough to send her home.

10. Amanda Overmyer - Yeah, she was good this week, but I still think she's only one screwup away from elimination. She'll probably be able to handle another Beatles song before getting swallowed up by a theme that doesn't suit her style.

9. Michael Johns - The King of Mediocre is getting by on looks and hype right now. If this guy makes it any farther by continuing what he's been doing it'll only be further proof that this is nowhere near the best Top 12 ever.

8. Syesha Mercado - The diva vote will probably keep her in it for a while, but her oversinging and haughty manner will probably turn people off eventually.

7. Ramiele Malubay - Her Filipino fanbase will most likely keep her in it, but unless she learns to spice up her performances I don't see her making it to the home stretch of this competition.

6. Chikezie - I've been saying he was great since the beginning and people are finally starting to agree with me. The inconsistency he's shown so far might do him in, but I think he gained some fans after his performance this week. If he keeps showing America his fun personality I can see him sticking around.

5. Carly Smithson - She can sing, but she isn't all that likable. Even though this is "American Idol" she seems like her heart is still in Ireland. I think America's going to get tired of her carpetbagging before too long.

4. Jason Castro - He seems to be a fan favorite, but his stripped-down style is already starting to bore some people. His lack of vocal power may hurt him too.

3. David Archuleta - He still has the fanbase to take him far (at least if DialIdol is to be believed), but this week's performance exposed him. I have a feeling that the pressure's going to get to him late in the game.

2. Brooke White - She's still the most likable girl in the competition, and she's still a favorite of the judges. I don't think she has the vocals to win, but that won't stop me from voting for her if she's in the finale.

1. David Cook - The two most successful male alumni (Clay Aiken and Chris Daughtry) each finished behind the two male winners, neither of whom quite lived up to expectations. They really want a guy to win this year, so because David has a similar style to Daughtry they're probably going to pimp him as much as they can in hopes of duplicating Chris' success.

Tune in next week for...more Beatles!

Top 12 Recap

Since "American Idol" now has its most talented Top 12 ever (you know, besides Seasons 2, 4 and 5) it was only appropriate that they finally got to do a theme week of arguably the most significant band in rock 'n roll history: The Beatles. The Beatles, as we all know, were musical pioneers whose influence is still strong today, and the diversity of their catalog offers something for everyone. Of course, the advance word is that our Idols can only choose songs from a list of 25, and they're all pre-Sgt. Pepper's Lennon-McCartney compositions, but hey, any Beatles is good Beatles, right?

There's a new stage set and they've changed the theme song graphics. After all, they love to keep things fresh on "Idol". I think it's funny that Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and Jordin Sparks get most of the face time in the new theme song. I guess they'd like to forget that Ruben, Fantasia and Taylor ever won.

We kick off the Finals with Syesha "Snoha" Mercado. All right, she's getting the death spot! Maybe we'll see her go home sooner than we expected! She's singing "Got to Get You Into My Life" (which most people apparently don't realize is about marijuana) and starts off sounding pretty bad. She gets it together after a while, but her voice is drowned out by the band most of the way. I'm sure it's hard to adjust to the new set with the different acoustics and such, but since I don't like Snoha's personality I hope it costs her. Randy and Paula both agree with me that it started rough but got better in the middle. Simon says it was better than last week. Whatever. I'm just looking forward to her elimination.

Up next is my favorite male contestant, Chikezie. He chats with Ryan and says he thought he was going home last week because Danny was such a lovable guy. Well, some of us who didn't love Danny are certainly happy to have Chikezie instead. Going this early may hurt his chances. I guess I'll have to give him some extra votes this week. He tells us he's singing "She's a Woman", which immediately strikes me as a good song choice, since it's a more soulful number. The performance starts with Chikezie sitting on the steps being backed by a country-bluegrass band. Huh? Well, at least it's different and interesting. The band should've added a washboard and jug for the full effect. Suddenly the house band kicks into high gear and Chikezie starts souling it up and rocking out. He even adds some "My Generation"-like stuttering in the middle. There are a few bad notes, but this performance is so energetic that it doesn't matter. So many people seem to dislike Chikezie, but this performance shows why I've been a fan since the beginning. Way to prove everyone wrong, dude! Randy says he smashed it and then steals my joke about the washboard and jug. Paula says he took a risk and it paid off. Simon likes it and says he took control of the stage. Ryan then goes crazy with Chikezie for a minute before giving the number. It's nice to see the fans' whipping boy getting a moment of glory.

Ramiele Malubay is up next. She's singing "In My Life" and dedicating it to her close friends that have been eliminated from the competition. Man, Danny's presence is still being felt on this show. Ramiele sings the song well, but she runs into the same problem that's plagued her since the beginning of the competition: Her performance is a tad boring. The song is good, her vocals are good, but it's not the type of thing that's going to excite anyone. She also seems a bit nervous, which surely doesn't help. The judges all say basically the same thing: It was too boring, too safe and she could've done more with the song. I agree. All Ramiele can do in response is pout. I hope she gets another week to show us she's better.

Jason "Cody Lambert" Castro brings back the guitar this week for "If I Fell". His voice sounds a little too soft to me, but my mother likes the emotion he puts into his singing. While it's another slow song, it's not quite as plodding as Ramiele's was. I like it overall. Randy says he liked it but didn't love it. Man, Randy seems to be echoing my thoughts tonight. Should I be worried? Paula says it was good because he made an emotional connection with the song. Simon says it was like a student in a bedroom at midnight and that it was boring. I agree it wasn't his best, but Jason and his goofy personality will most likely be in this thing for a while.

Now we come to America's most polarizing barmaid, Carly Smithson. She chats with Ryan about life off the set and tells us that she rooms with Amanda. Yee haw. She's singing "Come Together" tonight. Huh? I thought they were only doing pre-Sgt. Pepper's stuff. Is Carly getting special treatment? Maybe the mention of Coca-Cola in one verse helped her get the song cleared. Her vocals are pretty good, but I don't feel like this performance really goes anywhere. I've long felt that this was one of the more overrated Beatles songs, and Carly doesn't bring anything new to it for me. Everyone's saying she's one of the contenders to win, but I disagree. This girl really doesn't have any star power, and I don't see how they'd market her. I doubt she has the fanbase to keep her in this thing for the long haul. Randy says she was strong and confident, and that it was a stellar performance. Finally I disagree with the pitchy man. Paula thought she was watching a star. I couldn't disagree more. Simon says she finally connected with the right song and compares her to Kelly Clarkson. I guess that gives us an idea of how she'd be marketed, but I can't see her coming close to Kelly's success. Considering how rhythmically similar her name is to Kelly's, people would probably just see her as a copycat, and rightfully so. Oh well. She'll probably be this year's "shocking" elimination.

Next up is David "Combover" Cook. He sings "Eleanor Rigby" and starts a bit off-key. He gets it together quickly and the arrangement allows his vocals to work. While I don't deny this guy's talent, I don't like the sound of his voice. It always sounds either nondescript or annoying to my ears. The judges all love the performance, and Simon even tells him he could win, but I'm not all that impressed. I really don't want him to win. I would never buy an album of this guy's bore-rock. Sadly, I know he won't be going anywhere anytime soon.

Now we have my favorite female contestant, Brooke White. She's doing "Let it Be", which tells me one of two things: Either what I heard about them doing only pre-Sgt. Pepper's stuff was wrong or Brooke's getting special treatment. Since I actually like Brooke I don't have the objections to special treatment that I do with Carly. I guess I'm being hypocritical, but Brooke deserves to win more than most of these contestants. Of course, it's always possible that the pre-Sgt. Pepper's-only thing was wrong. Brooke plays the piano with her performance, and the vocals are far from pitch-perfect. It seems like she's struggling to sing and play at the same time. It's kind of a boring song choice, but since I like Brooke I don't care. It's good enough. Randy says it wasn't her best performance but that he likes the conviction in her singing. Paula says the emotional connection makes people fall in love with her. Simon says it was one of the best of the night. Brooke has tears in her eyes while listening to the judges. She's starting to remind me of Melinda Doolittle. I remember last year Melinda got teary-eyed after a performance, and the judges commented on how she was obviously enjoying the experience and wasn't treating "American Idol" as a mere stepping stone. They say basically the same thing to Brooke. I guess I like Brooke for the same reasons I liked Melinda. She's humble, gracious and down-to-earth. She doesn't have Melinda's vocal chops, but she still has my vote.

Next is David Hernandez, and he's singing "I Saw Her Standing There". He tries to add his own spin to the song, but the new arrangement just doesn't work. The original was great because it had a non-stop energy to it. The music halting during the verses in David's version disrupts the flow, and adding runs to the vocals was unnecessary. Perhaps he was trying to make the song more dramatic or something, but it just didn't capture the spirit of the original. Sometimes less is more. Randy and Paula both say it was overdone. Simon says it was corny, verging on desperate. I think David may be headed for the Bottom 3.

Amanda Overmyer, the real rocker in this competition, is up next. She sings "You Can't Do That", a lesser-known song. Just like in "Carry On Wayward Son" she preserves the original's male perspective, but this time she actually pulls it off. We all know by now that she doesn't have a "pretty" voice, but she makes it work with the song. Randy loves it. Paula is blown away. Simon says it wasn't as good as last week but that Amanda is a breath of fresh air in the competition. In my opinion it's her best performance to date. She's also learning to smile when facing the judges, which should help her in gaining votes.

Ryan tells us that Michael and Kristy are performing after the break. Shocker of shockers! David Archuleta's getting the pimp spot tonight!

Next is the other fake rocker, Michael Johns. For the third time tonight we have a post-Sgt. Pepper's song in "Across the Universe". I'm guessing we got bad information about the period these songs would be from, but then again, Michael seems to be one of the favored contestants. Still, "Across the Universe" isn't interesting enough to warrant special clearance. Michael sings it all right, but this performance is hardly a great one and I'm still not a fan of his style. Randy says it was boring and that he could've done more with it. Paula likes his quiet confidence. Simon agrees that Michael needed to do more with it. Michael's stock seems to be falling every week, but he probably has enough of a fanbase to coast a while longer.

Kristy Mannequin Cook is back to bore us. She tells us she's going to sing a countrified version of "Eight Days a Week", and it's just as bizarre as it sounds. The boot-stomping arrangement is completely overdone, and Kristy sounds like she's rushing to keep up with the music the entire time. She's her usual self in this performance: bland, emotionless and completely lacking in personality. It's hard to believe this girl once lost a record deal (not the losing it part, but the having one in the first place part). The only way I can see her being safe is if all the country music fans with no one else to vote for rally behind her. Randy says it seemed too forced, and that he half liked it and half didn't like it. Paula says she didn't get it. Simon says it was horrendous, that she sounds like Dolly Parton on helium (hey, that's hard to do!) and that she was brave but foolish. I think America needs to put Kristy out of her (OK, our) misery by not voting for her tonight. Of course, if I could send anyone home right now it would be Carly the Inked-Up Drunkard or Snoha, but I like to keep my hopes realistic. When Ryan asks Paula if she thinks Kristy will be back next week, the only thing Paula can say is that Kristy has a huge fanbase. When even Paula Abdul thinks you're going home you know you're in trouble.

Last, and arguably least, is the obvious chosen one, David "Mini-Carmen" Archuleta. He sings the Stevie Wonder arrangement of "We Can Work it Out" and finally shows once and for all that he's not the invincible singing machine he's been portrayed as. He forgets the lyrics several times, and it takes him a while to find his footing. He pulls it together in the second half, but it's not good enough to overshadow the poor start to the song. Honestly, David is just an OK singer to me. His version of "Imagine" was great, but his voice has seemed a bit weak in his other performances. He's likable enough that I'd be happy for him if he won, but I think it's safe to say he's overrated. Randy says it was forced and didn't work. Paula says it wasn't his best but that she loves him. Simon says it was a mess. At least we know now that if David does win this thing like everyone's expecting the journey won't be without a few bumps. He's got so many fans right now though, that he'll have to have several more performances like this one if he ever wants to see the Bottom 3.

Now that only one person is going home each week I guess I'll start predicting the Bottom 3 along with the person going home.

Bottom 3: David H., Kristy, Ramiele
Going Home: Kristy

David's arrangement didn't work, Ramiele was boring and went early, and Kristy was just bad all over. Perhaps it's wishful thinking, but I'm predicting we've finally seen the last of The Mannequin.

Also Vulnerable

Syesha

Probably Safe

Chikezie
Carly
Amanda
Michael

I'd be Shocked

Jason
David C.
Brooke
David A.

Whom I Voted For: Chikezie, Ramiele, Jason, Brooke, Amanda. I got plenty of busy signals early on for Chikezie and Brooke, so things are looking good for them. As for the others, we'll see.

Check back tomorrow for my recap of the results show. I can't wait to see the cheesy Beatles medley.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Top 16 Results Recap

After tonight the hope of losing four disliked contestants a week is over. That's right, the Top 12 are being named. Ryan opens the show by announcing that four are going home, but first...Blake Lewis! Oh goody. I can save some space on my tape. Blake sings his new song "How Many Words", and his singing hasn't improved since last season, nor has his beatboxing gotten less annoying. You know, this song might actually be good if it were sung by someone with talent. When they talk to Blake afterwards he still comes off like a smug dirtbag. Fortunately they get him out of the way early.

Finally it's time to announce the Top 12. I guess they're not doing a cheesy group number this week. Aw, man. I always like that part. Once again, thanks for ruining the fun, Blake!

David Cook is up first. Ryan tells us Lionel Richie himself said he loved David's version of "Hello". After that ringing endorsement, we learn David's in the Top 12. No surprise there. David Archuleta is next. Why must we go through this charade? We all know he's going to be in. After Ryan tells us what we already knew, David wheezes his way over to the silver stools. Jason Castro is next. I know I predicted he'd go home, but I knew he'd be safe as soon as I went on the internet and read the overwhelmingly positive discussion of his performance. Sure enough, he's in the Top 12.

Now it's time to go over to the girls. Brooke White is first. This looks good for her. Sure enough, she's in. Yes! Syesha Mercado, who I was hoping would be the "shocker", is also in. Dang it! Kady Malloy is going home, but we all saw that coming. Apparently they're each getting their own special boot video this year rather than one for all four of them. Kady is clearly choked up as she sings "Who Wants to Live Forever" one last time and Asia'h and Ramiele cry for her.

After the break Ryan tells us that for the first time they'll allow viewers to call in live during results shows. Somewhere Captain Janks is hatching a plan.

Back to the guys. David Hernandez is in. I guess the stripper scandal didn't hurt him. It's going to be hard keeping all three Davids straight (no pun intended). Michael Johns is in. No surprise there, even though he hasn't really lived up to the hype in this competition yet. Luke Menard is next, and we all know what's coming. Yep, he's out. In his interview video he specifically says he wants to be the next American Idol, but I guess the powers that be just wouldn't stand for it. I would've liked to see you win, Luke. Good luck with your future. His sing-out of "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" sounds a lot better to my ears than his original performance did. His voice actually doesn't sound like it's being drowned out by the band this time. Did they give him a bad mix to sabotage him? Who knows? It wouldn't surprise me. Chikezie and Danny Noriega are left on the couches, and we all know Danny's going to make it, since he's being set up as a "villain" like Sanjaya last year.

Back to the girls. Ramiele Malubay is in the Top 12! Phew! I was worried that her hackneyed song choice would do her in, but her fans pulled through. Carly Smithson is in, of course. Amanda Overmyer, who a lot of us figured would be going home last week, is in. It's down to Kristy Lee Cook and Asia'h Epperson. Oh man. I think Asia'h's going home, simply because it'll be more "shocking" when she loses next to the boring Kristy. Randy says he thinks Asia'h's going to make the Top 12, Paula says they're both great (of course), and Simon says he thinks Asia'h's going home. America voted and...Asia'h is going home! Aw man. I'm not a big Asia'h fan, but she's a lot more entertaining than the mannequin! Seriously, who's voting for Kristy, and more importantly, why? Asia'h is clearly disappointed, but she maintains her composure long enough to give us a good sing-out. Even in elimination Asia'h shows so much more talent and personality than Kristy does.

Now it's back to the two remaining guys, who've had to sweat it out long enough. If Danny goes home I'll be shocked at this point. All over the internet everyone was predicting Chikezie would go while talking about how funny Danny's personality was. Ryan tells Chikezie that he can have a seat, because he's in the Top 12! What?? Danny's gone?? I don't believe this! This is great! Sorry, but I really wanted one of my initial favorite guys to make the Top 12, especially after Luke got eliminated. Luke and Jason Yeager couldn't do it, but with Chikezie I can still root for one of them in this competition! I think Chikezie has a lot more talent than he's shown us so far, and now he has the chance to prove it to America. Anyway, Danny languidly sings "Tainted Love" one more time before we say goodbye to the sideshow that is him. He can't hold a candle to Sanjaya.

Now that we know the Top 12, I'd like to add a feature to this blog I'll call "Power Rankings" (very creative name, I know). I'll list all the Finalists in the order I think they're most likely to finish based on what we've seen. After every Results Show the Power Rankings will be updated. Obviously, it's hard to foresee who'll struggle and who'll grow throughout the competition, but I'll do my best to predict how fanbases, trends, vote-splitting and such will affect the results.

Here's how I see it right now:

12. Kristy Lee Cook
11. Amanda Overmyer
10. David Hernandez
9. Chikezie
8. Syesha Mercado
7. Michael Johns
6. Carly Smithson
5. Ramiele Malubay
4. Jason Castro
3. David Cook
2. Brooke White
1. David Archuleta

I'll admit that Brooke and David A. could split the Mormon vote, but right now I think they're the two most likable contestants of each gender, so they'll probably be getting plenty of votes from all over America. David C. is getting a lot of buzz right now, so I could see him in the finale as well, but having two Davids would be weird and I have yet to see David C. succeed in anything other than his comfortable rock genre. There's also the possibility, which many have mentioned, that David A. is peaking too early, but I think he has a big enough fanbase right now that he'll be able to overcome some missteps along the way.

I'm still not fully convinced that this is the most talented Top 12 ever, but there are definitely some good people in this group. I'd say the talent is almost there, but the likability doesn't come close. Not many of them have personalities that make you really want to see them succeed. Whatever happens, I hope this season will be as interesting as last year's. When it's all over we'll be able to look back at these predictions and have a good laugh at how wrong they were (or be amazed at how right, but I doubt it).

Next week the Top 12 will be singing songs from the Lennon-McCartney songbook. Hopefully they won't butcher them too badly.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Top 8 Girls Recap

It's all down to this. Eight girls perform, only six make the Finals. Judging by the song choices we heard though, a more accurate name would be "Idol Retread Night", because several of these songs have been done to death on "American Idol" already.

First up is Asia'h Epperson. She tells us her most embarrassing moment was when she was an extra in a movie and she crashed into a set light on roller skates. Then she tells us she laughed it off, so I don't know how that would be her most embarrassing moment. She sings Whitney Houston's "I Wanna Dance With Somebody". Wow. She's three for three. Each week Asia'h has become the fourth person in "American Idol" history to perform whichever song she's chosen. Look it up if you don't believe me. She gives an enjoyable performance. I don't listen to Whitney Houston, so I'm not familiar enough with any of her songs that an "Idol" performance would pale in comparison to the original in my mind. As we know though, Simon doesn't give anyone good feedback who sings a Whitney Houston song, so the big question (after "Will Asia'h ever pick a song that hasn't already been done on this show?") is how the judges will like it. Randy (after his obligatory name-drop) says she proved she deserved to be there, Paula says she nailed it, and Simon says it was second-rate Whitney at best, but that she deserves to be in the Top 12. I think the biggest thing working against Asia'h is that she went first, and voters might forget about her.

Next up is Kady Malloy. Ryan chats with her before her performance, and she tells us last week she thought she was going home, since Alaina did so well. Her most embarrassing moment was when she bombed auditioning for a talent show, and on her way out she tripped over the microphone cord which made the entire speaker system collapse. She sings Queen's "Who Wants to Live Forever". Bad move, Kady. Not only is it a boring song, but she's off-key throughout the entire thing. It didn't work for Katharine McPhee either. Randy says it was a good job, but the lower notes were bad. Paula says it was her best performance, and that the real magic in Kady's voice is on the tender soft notes. Simon says she's too robotic when she sings and he doesn't hear any emotion. Kady was lucky to survive last week, but I think her time may have officially run out. I'll give her a few votes because she's an underdog, but I can live without her if she goes home.

Now we come to Amanda Overmyer, and everyone's wondering if we'll see the magic from Hollywood or the horror from last week. Her most embarrassing moment was when she left an outdoor fireplace burning overnight and her family's deck and pool were destroyed. She sings Joan Jett's "I Hate Myself For Loving You" and actually does a good job with it. It fits her voice much better than "Carry On Wayward Son", but the song still reminds me of Pink's intro to Sunday Night Football in 2006. Randy says that it was the Amanda they love, Paula says she's found her niche, and Simon says it was fantastic. Amanda gets a lot of pimping this week, so they must really want her in that Top 12.

Carly Smithson is next. Her most embarrassing moment was when she was on a break from work and she got her legs stuck in a railing. Her drunk friend (sheesh, first she can't stop talking about tattoos and now she can't stop talking about alcohol) had to grease up her legs to get her out. Her song is Cyndi Lauper's "I Drove All Night". I can't find any complaints with her vocals, but her tattoo is still hideous. I'll be glad when she gets eliminated so I don't have to keep looking at that thing. Randy says it was great. Paula says she's like a dependable dog. Simon says it was the wrong song for her, because he mainly knows the CĂ©line Dion version. He gets booed by the audience. Wouldn't it be funny if the audience cheered when Simon trashed someone? When Ryan comes on stage to give the number they show Carly's mother in the audience, who's visiting from Ireland. Carly says her mother met her husband for just the second time. Ryan asks if she approves of Carly's husband, and her mother nods "yes". As long as we're discussing funny scenarios, wouldn't it be funny if she shook her head "no" on national TV?

Up next is Kristy Lee Mannequin, who tells us that her most embarrassing moment was when she was about seven years old and pretended to be a dog for the whole year. Oh come on, I'm an adult and I still do that sometimes. She sings Journey's "Faithfully", so we know Randy's going to love it. My complaint with her is the same as last week. Sure, she can sing OK, but nothing about her stands out. Sure, she seems like a nice girl, but she's boring and I really don't see any star power. I think it's becoming increasingly obvious why she lost both her record deals. Randy says he liked her this week because she incorporated two of his favorite things: dogs and Journey. He also likes that she gave the song sort of a country lilt. Huh? I didn't hear anything country about that performance. Paula says that song could be a country hit for her right now. Simon says he liked the country influence in the song, but that he thinks Kristy is too forgettable. He also says that the highest finish he sees for her right now is 10th place. I'm puzzled by this "country" thing. I went back and watched it again and I still don't hear it. I guess the judges are all saying it in hopes that a few country music fans will vote for her, but I'm hoping those fans let their ears decide.

Ramiele Malubay is next on the schedule, but first she has to tell us how embarrassing it was when she left her picture at the house of a boy she liked and she watched him and his mother laugh at it from across the street. She sings "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins and simultaneously wins the Most Overdone Song Choice Award. After three straight songs that had never been sung on this show before we get one that's been sung to death. "Against All Odds" has now tied Whitney Houston's "I Have Nothing" for being performed the most times on the "American Idol" stage with six. While she doesn't match Scott Savol's definitive "Idol" version, her performance may be good enough for second place, despite the fact that she messes up the lyrics. Randy says she needs to be more confident on stage. Paula spends an entire minute saying basically nothing before she finally says Ramiele deserves to be in the Top 12. Simon says it was too old-fashioned, predictable and missing the "big money note". I think Ramiele's good, but she needs to stop recycling boring songs that have already been done on "Idol".

Now we come to the lovely Brooke White, who tells us that when she was about 12 or 13 she ran up behind her father after church and put her arms around him...only to discover that it wasn't actually her father. She sings Pat Benatar's "Love is a Battlefield", but rather than rocking out like Carrie Underwood did, she does it all acoustic. It actually makes this performance interesting. Aw heck, I just like Brooke altogether. I think she may be my favorite of all the contestants, or at least the one I like that has the best shot at winning. My mother thinks Brooke sounds like she has a cold, but I think it's more her natural, untrained voice. Randy says she didn't bring anything new to the song but that it was interesting. Paula says she loves Brooke's voice, but that she wished the band had joined in the middle. Simon says it was a great performance, and that it worked precisely because she didn't bring the band in. I'll be casting my usual votes for Brooke, though she'll probably sail through the next few weeks even without them.

Unfortunately, the ever-conceited Syesha Mercado gets the pimp spot. What's her most embarrassing moment going to be? That time someone walked right past her without realizing who she was? No, it's when she was in 2nd Grade and passed a note to a boy she liked who then told on her. Once again we get a song that's been done already on "Idol", with Whitney Houston's "Saving All My Love For You". Syesha starts off all right, showing some actual subtlety, but returns to belter form at the end. Like I said, I'm not a Whitney Houston fan so I'm not sure if that's how the original goes. Still, this performance was nothing special to me. Syesha can sing, but who cares about another Whitney Houston wannabe? Since the show is live and they're running out of time, the judges all hurriedly tell her it was good, with Simon adding that it was a bit predictable.

After they show the numbers one last time, there's some quick chit-chat with the judges. Paula says she doesn't want any of them to leave, while Simon says he only liked about three of the performances, with Amanda's being his favorite. As the credits roll Asia'h gives Kady a piggy-back ride. Isn't it cute how they're such good friends? While the girls weren't as good as the guys yesterday, I'd say they still gave us a decent show. My mother actually stayed awake for the whole thing this time. Anyway, let's make some predictions.

Probably Going Home

Kady
Kristy

Also Vulnerable

Asia'h
Ramiele

Probably Safe

Amanda
Syesha

I'd Be Shocked

Carly
Brooke

Whom I Voted For: Kady, Amanda, Ramiele, Brooke (hey, one from each group!).

Tomorrow we'll have our Top 12. Then we'll only have to lose one deserving, likable underdog per week.

Top 8 Guys Recap

This is it. One more week of performances before we know who our finalists are. By now we have a pretty good idea of who the big dogs in the Top 12 will be, but the question is which lower-tier contestants will be adding their flavor to the big stage?

Ryan opens the show by walking down the stairs which all eight guys are standing on. He gives Michael Johns a pat on the shoulder, as if it weren't already obvious that he was one of the favored contestants. The theme this week is songs from the 80's, and Ryan says that since most of us wore some of our most embarrassing outfits in the 80's the theme to the intro videos will be of the contestants' most embarrassing moments. How fun.

The contestant we open with is Luke Menard. They clearly want this guy gone, so they put him first in hopes people will forget about him come voting time. He tells us his most embarrassing moment was when he was a kid and his older sister dressed him up as a ballerina. He sings Wham!'s "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go," a song which has the potential to give him a new most embarrassing moment. Honestly, his vocals just aren't strong enough to make this performance great. He's not terrible, but there's something missing. My mother, who loved him during the first week, says she doesn't like him anymore. Well, he's one of my horses and I'm sticking with him even if he is the weakest performer left. We need an American Idol who consciously wants to be a positive role model. Randy says there were some pitch problems and that it was a little corny. Paula loves it. Simon says it was weak and that Luke has no chance of making the Top 12. Simon has been both right and wrong when he's predicted people were going home in the past, but even when he's been wrong the contestant usually hasn't lasted very much longer. The vast majority of my votes went to Luke this week, but I doubt it'll be enough to save him.

Next is Eric Carmen Jr., golden boy David Archuleta. He tells us that once he lost his voice halfway through a song and his mother had to finish it for him. How sweet. He sings "Another Day in Paradise" by Phil Collins and plays the piano along with it at the beginning. At least it wasn't "Against All Odds". My mother calls it impressive after the first few notes. I'm starting to get annoyed by his nasal upper register, but overall David gives a good performance. Randy says it was like watching him in concert, and that it was nice despite some pitch problems. Paula says she's glad David missed a few notes because it makes him seem more human. Simon says it wasn't as good as last week and that David's performances are starting to get gloomy. He adds that David will probably be in the Final 2, just in case we got the impression that we weren't supposed to love him anymore.

I like that they didn't introduce everyone before the show. It makes it fun to wonder who'll get the pimp spot.

It's Danny Noriega time. His most embarrassing moment was when one of his friends tripped him on a stairway right in front of his crush. Notice he doesn't specify the gender of this "crush." He sings "Tainted Love," most famously done by Soft Cell. What can I really say about this guy? He's just weird and creepy. As an Idol nerd who's looked up the histories of other countries' "Idol" shows, his vocals kind of remind me of Jacob Hoggard from "Canadian Idol." Despite Jacob's popularity, that isn't a compliment coming from me. Danny sings his song competently and adds his own touch to it, but I can't say I enjoy it. Randy says it started rough and was pitchy, but he liked the arrangement. Paula says Danny is like a bright light to the competition. Simon thinks it was horrible and useless. Danny sasses Simon by mocking his hand gesture that was discussed at length last week. I'll give Danny credit for being memorable, but his whole saucy gay kid shtick is becoming tiresome. Unless he de-flames a bit, I don't see him lasting much longer than a few more weeks. I could even see this week being his last.

Next up is David Hernandez, who tells us that he once did a photo shoot without realizing he had a large booger in his nose. He sings "It's All Coming Back to Me Now," originally by Pandora's Box. He sings it well, though his phrasing is slightly odd sometimes. My mother comments that he has a stare like Phil Stacey. Jim Steinman, the writer of this song, has said that he thinks it's more lyrically suited for a woman to sing, but I guess if Meat Loaf can record it David Hernandez can perform it on "American Idol". Randy likes it but says there were a few pitch problems. Paula says he's getting into his groove. Simon says it wasn't as good as last week, but that David has 100% secured a place in the Finals. For what it's worth, I'm aware that the rumors of David being a gay stripper have been confirmed. I'm not a fan of that profession, but I still like David's performances and his on-screen personality. I don't care if he's gay as long as he's not being obnoxious about it like Danny.

Ryan tells us David Cook is up next, but when the show comes back from the commercial he's sitting on the couch with Michael Johns and tells us they're dealing with a guitar issue. Michael says his game plan on this show is to let America know he's the type of artist who wants to make a record that has elements of rock, soul and a little bit of dance. At least that's what it sounded like he said. In the video he says his most embarrassing moment was when he was working as a mascot and four guys beat him up. I always thought that came with the territory. He sings Simple Minds' "Don't You (Forget About Me)," which works well with his voice. I could do without the Vedder-brato, but at least he hits the high notes better than he did last week. My mother thinks he sounds shaky and doesn't like him changing octaves. Randy says it was a good song choice and Paula says she liked seeing the strength in his lower range. Simon says he really really likes Michael, but he doesn't feel that he's connected with the right song yet. I'm not sure I agree with that. I'm not a fan of Michael, but I thought he did all right with this performance.

Now David Cook's on the stage, and this time he's going to perform for real. The guitar issues have been worked out. He tells us he once sang in a talent show and in the middle of the song he realized he didn't know the second verse. I guess that's why you rehearse, dude. He sings "Hello" by Lionel Richie and sadly, he does it really well. As much as I dislike this guy, I don't think he's going anywhere for a while. The judges all love it and say that his version could be a hit single right now. I'm going to hate seeing this guy's smug mug on my TV for the next few months.

Jason Castro is performing without the guitar for the first time tonight, and he's doing Leonard Cohen's "Hallelujah." Before he plays he tells us that once he was on a date with a girl (he can actually specify the gender of his date) and accidentally ripped out one of his dreads. He's starting to remind me of Cody from "Step By Step" both in looks and personality. His performance sounds pretty good. It's obvious he's not the most experienced singer in the world, but he handles it all right. Randy likes it, Paula likes the fact that he didn't use the guitar, and Simon says it was brilliant. Good on him. I have to wonder though, if the average person at home is familiar with the song or enjoys him as much without the guitar. I think Jason should be in the Top 12, but I could sort of see him slipping through the cracks at the same time.

And the pimp spot goes to...Chikezie. His embarrassing moment is that in high school he regularly used a certain bathroom before one day finding out it was a women's room. He reprises his audition song, "All the Woman I Need" by Luther Vandross, which was previously recorded as "All the Man That I Need" in the 80's. I like his voice, but I won't deny that there are some pitch problems here. The final note is definitely off. It was nowhere near as bad as his first week performance though. Randy and Paula both like it. Simon asks him if it was a Whitney Houston song. Chikezie rattles off all the versions that were recorded before finally concluding that it was a Whitney Houston song. "Then no, I don't think that worked at all," says Simon. Apparently if it hadn't been a Whitney Houston song it would've been good. Instead it's "cabaret". Whatever, Simon. At least Chikezie was able to avoid making a sarcastic remark this time.

Now it's time for predictions. They're going to be a little tough this week, since Luke is really the only obvious choice to go home. A lot of people would say Chikezie, but he got the benefit of the pimp spot and I actually got some busy signals when I voted for him (first time I've gotten any all season), so I think he'll be fine. There are often people who miss the Top 12 that everyone considered a lock, so that's probably what we're looking at here. I may be completely wrong, but here's what I'll go on record as saying:

Probably Going Home

Luke
Jason

Also Vulnerable

Danny
David H.
Chikezie

Probably Safe

Michael

I'd Be Shocked

David A.
David C.

Whom I Voted For: Luke, David H., Jason, Chikezie.

Tomorrow we get the girls. There are more than two girls I'd like to see go home, so we're guaranteed a few annoying people to have to sit through in the Finals.