Top 7 - One and a Half Thumbs Up

Tonight our Idols will be mentored by Quentin Tarantino, whose passion for music apparently means he's qualified to tell the Idols how to perform. Also, due to time constraints only two judges will be talking for each contestant. That means some won't have to face the wrath of Simon this week. Works for me. Less crap to recap!

First up is Allison Iraheta, singing Aerosmith's "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing" from Armageddon. Argh. Another oversung song. Then again, I said the same thing last week and it turned out pretty well. Let's see how she handles this one. She sounds a little strained early on. Is she sick? She isn't bringing the ROCK. VOCAL. POWER. as much as usual. She turns it up at the end, but it feels like something's missing. It almost seems like she herself isn't feeling the song. Paula says she possesses the same "special sauce" as Adam. All in favor of skipping the obvious drug/alcohol joke raise your hands. Yep, I thought so. Moving on... Paula adds the usual "I can't believe how young you are" spiel. Simon calls her the girls' only hope left in the competition. Well yeah, when it's between Allison and Lil it's not too tough a choice. Finally they're pimping her as much as she deserves, but more than I'd say the performance deserved.

Anoop Desai has decided to ballad it up again with Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" from Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. Well, I guess that's smart, since "My Prerogative" seems to be the only upbeat song he can pull off. In the intro clip Quentin tells him to "rough up" the vocals, which based on the Q-Man's demonstration suggests he wants him to Taylor Hicks-ify it. This should be interesting. Anoop decides not to rough it up, and his smooth vocals sound great. I really like this. The ladies in the audience all scream when he reaches the pre-chorus. Anoop made a wise move by not listening to the mentor. Randy says he did a really good job and is finding his zone. Kara says she felt connected to him singing for a change. I have to agree. This is the first time I didn't feel like Anoop was shaky at any point. He's getting more comfortable up there.

We heard earlier that Adam Lambert was doing a song from Easy Rider. It turns out it's "Born to Be Wild." I guess that works. I was thinking it'd be "I Wasn't Born to Follow." While the title is appropriate for his persona, it wouldn't have rocked very hard. Adam adds electronic elements to this one, which means the famous organ hook is gone. It's got a cool vibe to it though. His trademark screams at the end are freaking awesome. What's there left to say about Adam? He's far and away the best singer and performer in this competition. He did his own thing as usual and rocked it. Paula tells him that fortune rewards the brave and that he's one of the bravest contestants ever. Simon says it was vocally incredible, but like the Rocky Horror musical at parts. He says he loved it, but that it won't be as popular as last week. Whatever. It doesn't matter how many people hate Adam at this point. I'll be shocked if he doesn't make it to the finale.

Matt Giraud gets some Ryan chat time. He says his confidence level is in the middle right now. He picked a song he loved and thinks it should work. Ah ah ah. Somebody didn't read last week's WNTS editorial, did he? We're treated to more Bryan Adams with "Have You Ever Really Loved a Woman?" from Don Juan de Marco. Quentin picks on Matt's enunciation, and I can see what he means. During the performance Matt seems to slur parts. He does his usual piano thing with runs and falsetto and all that jazz. Overall it's pretty good, but I'm still not on the Matt bandwagon (if such a thing even exists at this point). Randy says it started out cool, but he hit a rough patch at the bridge and shouldn't do so much with a song that has such a beautiful melody. Kara says he constantly goes back and forth between rock and soul and that he took away some of the song's core melodies. OK. Maybe I'm just not familiar enough with the original, but I didn't mind it too much.

Danny Gokey's going without glasses this week and gets a chat with Ryan. He tells us he bought a guitar even though he can't play it. I need a new guitar but don't have the money right now. Life is so unfair. He's doing "Endless Love" from The Same Name (actually, the movie was Endless Love, but that's what it sounded like he said). Hey, Chris Sligh ditched his glasses when he did this song too! What a weird coincidence. Maybe this song is hard on the eyes or something. He has a harp on stage with him, which isn't exactly easy on the eyes either. Sorry, but this is kind of...what's the word? Uninteresting? I actually kind of like it when he goes into his upper register near the end, but it's not enough to make me love this performance. I remember being confused by Sligh's version at first, but it got better on repeat listens. This was just good, but not great. I don't see it improving with age. Paula says he pulled it together at the end. Simon says he sang it well but didn't do anything new with it, like David Cook did with Lionel Richie last year. Don't forget the Sligh-dog! Oh wait, the judges hated his version. Never mind. Simon goes on to congratulate Danny because the song clearly means a lot to him. Huh? Are they that desperate to keep Danny around?

Kris Allen has the second original song choice of the night (after Adam, of course), with "Falling Slowly" from Once. I've never heard of the song or the movie, but I'm not a big movie buff, so maybe that has something to do with it. The song starts out in that musical purgatory of low notes that get drowned out by the music and sound off-key. This is sort of a boring song, but once he gets into clear-vocal territory I actually like the way he sounds. He shows off some good control. Maybe I'm biased because I like Kris better than Danny or because I have nothing to compare this performance to, but I think that unlike Danny's, the second half redeems the first. Randy says it was pitchy from note one. Kara says it was difficult to pick such an obscure song, and she thinks it was one of his best moments. I don't know if it was one of his best, but I'll say it was good.

Since everyone here has gotten the pimp spot at some point, Lil Rounds is getting it for the second time this season. Since Adam had it last week I guess that means it's Danny's turn next week. Lil's doing "The Rose," from the movie of the same name. Well, it's an original song choice. I'll give her that. In her mentor clip they say she brings in a gospel influence. Quentin tells her to do that with the whole song. Now this is pitchy from note one. Wow. She can't hit the right notes here to save her life. Maybe she's shaken up from all the criticism she's gotten the last four weeks. Sorry Lil. This is bad bad bad. Easily her worst. Paula says she couldn't have sung a more beautiful lyric and rambles on with a bunch of stuff that implies she was good without actually saying it. Way to equivocate, Paula! Simon says she's getting it wrong, that the song was too soft, and he doesn't think she's the artist they thought she was. Lil's clearly upset, so she decides to give Simon a piece of her mind. She says she's tried to be an artist by putting soul, R&B and gospel into the performance. I didn't hear it, but OK. Paula says Lil shouldn't be afraid to speak her mind, and that those who matter didn't have a problem with the performance. I'm guessing she just told most of the viewing audience that they don't matter. This whole Lil soap opera is getting ridiculous. I'm almost wondering if they overpraised her in the beginning just to set up this drama. Then again, I remember thinking her first two performances were genuinely good, and I'd like to believe I'm not that easily manipulated by these judges. I hope that in the future the powers that be will think twice about overpimping a contestant like they did Lil. So much for not being defeated.

My performance ranking:

Adam (8 out of 10)
Anoop (7 out of 10)
Kris (6.5 out of 10)
Matt (6 out of 10)
Danny (5 out of 10)
Allison (4 out of 10)
Lil (1 out of 10)

So who's going home? Let's see...I think Adam's the only one who doesn't have to worry about the Bottom 3 this week. Anoop did a great job, and since his primary fanbase isn't hung over this week from celebrating their basketball team's championship he should be good. Danny was boring and forgettable as always, but I think he still has the fans to keep him safe. That leaves us with Kris, Allison, Lil and Matt. As much as Lil deserves to go, the pimp spot should keep her safe. I do think her little tantrum (which I kind of understand, but it won't exactly endear her to the public) will land her in the Bottom 3 though. I've predicted Kris for the Bottom 3 countless times, but he still has yet to end up there. I think the fact that he went late in the show will help him. Matt did OK, but the judges weren't kind, and his performance was nothing we hadn't seen from him already. Allison went first and had perhaps her weakest performance yet, but the judges' endorsement and the momentum I believe she's gaining should bode well for her. Therefore, my prediction is:

Bottom 3: Allison, Matt, Lil
Going Home: Matt

At least I can hope. Since we probably can't get rid of Danny or Lil this soon, Matt is my next choice.

Tomorrow night Miley Cyrus and Jennifer Hudson are our guests. How fitting. They bring back J-Hud for the same week she was eliminated. When they split the Idols into two groups of three and force the leftover contestant to pick the safe group I'm sure Jennifer will be cringing offstage.

Top 8 Results - Surely the Things I Ask Can't Be Too Great a Task

It's time for the weekly result show, and Kris is currently at the bottom of DialIdol. I'm nervous. I've been fortunate that none of my favorites has been eliminated from the Finals yet. Tonight could be the first one.

Hey, Mario Lopez is in audience! Maybe next time we'll get Screech. I've heard he doesn't get along well with Kimberley Locke, though.

Ryan rolls a video clip from the year Simon was born. Hey, it's Frankie Avalon singing "Venus"! Great song! Then comes the twist. The screen opens up and the real Frankie Avalon comes out singing! Awesome! He's older-looking now than I realized. I guess he can't retain his youth forever. When will he mentor the Idols? If they had a "teen idols" theme or something he'd be perfect. Of course, he probably doesn't have much to promote these days, so it doesn't seem likely. Ryan asks Frankie when that song came out, and he tells us it was from 1959. Gotta love that year. Simon, of course, argues that he was actually born in 1969. You got it wrong, Simon. You're supposed to maintain each year that you're only 39. It worked for Jack Benny.

The group song is from AI's birth year of 2002: "Can't Get You Out of My Head." I'm not very familiar with this song. It seems like this might not be lip-synched though. If so, that's the best thing I can say about it. If it is, well, go on with your lives. Nothing much to see here.

We get the usual behind-the-scenes segment for the Ford music video. That's right, it's considered a music video rather than a commercial. It's filmed at an old Vaudeville theater, which Adam loves because it's right up his alley. The song is "Circus" by Britney Spears and the theme is a magic show. It's fun, I guess. It's more in the spirit of the classic Ford videos than some of the other crap they've done in Season 8.

Ryan chats with the contestants. He asks Adam about Simon's standing ovation and Adam can only say he's flattered. I still don't get the hype about that one. It didn't move me nearly as much as "The Tracks of My Tears" did. The mayor of Kalamazoo is in the audience to see Matt. Apparently he's an old friend. Sheesh. Is there anyone on this show who doesn't know anyone famous?

Bring down the lights, it's time for results.

Adam Lambert, Kris Allen and Anoop Desai all stand up. Adam is safe. Duh. One is in the bottom 3, and it is...Anoop. Whoo! Kris is safe! He just keeps on chuggin'! So much for DialIdol having him at the bottom! If Anoop goes home it'll be because of that shoutout to UNC. Mark my words.

Flo Rida is here to perform his #1 song, "Right Round." OK, this is one of the infamous ten crappy songs that pop radio plays on a loop all day, so I think I'm pausing the tape for this. This song is a poor recycle job of Dead or Alive's "You Spin Me 'Round (Like a Record)" except it's about raining money on a stripper. My father once told me that the late '70s was a really depressing time. He said you couldn't turn on the radio without hearing disco. I have to believe we're living in an equivalent era right now. The problem with this crap is that it doesn't all fall under some genre-specific umbrella that we can hope to wipe out in one fell swoop. Sigh. Ryan chats with Flo Rida afterwards and he promotes his worldwide tour. You mean they like this crap in other countries too? He tells us his album title ROOTS stands for "Rap of Overcoming the Struggle." Yeah, nothing honors a past struggle like glorifying a waste of money.

Back to the results.

Danny Gokey is safe. He smiles and gives another "yep, I knew it" nod.

Matt Giraud and his forehead mole are up. He's safe after Ryan tries to fake him out again.

Scott MacIntyre is in the Bottom 3, right where he belongs.

Our two ladies, Allison Iraheta and Lil Rounds are the only ones left. Ryan tries to fake out Allison before telling her she's safe. Yes! That means Lil is in the Bottom 3! Spout time! It only took four weeks of disappointing performances! I'd imagine even her fanbase is getting sick of her by now. Simon says there's one person in the Bottom 3 they'd definitely consider saving. Well, we know it isn't Scott. I'm guessing he means Lil. Why they'd consider saving her I'm not sure.

Kellie Pickler time! She sings her new song "Best Days of Your Life." Well, it's obvious she's not lip-synching, as she sounds pretty bad tonight. She's still cute, so that makes it bearable. She doesn't get as much chat time with Ryan as some of the other Idols have this year. I guess that's what happens when you come in 6th Place.

Meanwhile, back at the results...

One person's going back to safety, and it is...Anoop, stay where you are. Lil's headed back to the couches. Figures. She's not splitting votes with anyone. This toying with the contestants is getting old though. Knock it off, Ryan.

There were 34 million votes, and only 30,000 separate Scott and Anoop. Man, Anoop's fans sure do know how to make it dramatic. First it was close between him and Michael Sarver, now this.

The lowest vote-getter is...Scott. Wow. I was right for once. Scott sings "The Search is Over" again and sounds just as bad. Please don't save him, judges. He's not worth it. This is the best time for him to go out. He hasn't reached a completely embarrassing level of incompetence, but he had his first trainwreck this week. Let him go home before his "Idol" journey becomes a long-running disaster.

Simon says it's a tough decision. Two say he should stay, two say he should go. So...it's not unanimous? He's going? Simon goes on with some BS about how they have to consider if there are more-talented people sitting safely on the couches. Whatever. Stop dragging this out! Finally Simon makes the decision and it is: No. Finally! I was actually worried they were going to save him for a minute there. How disgraceful would that have been?

After his farewell video Paula tells Scott what an inspiration he is. That's nice, but do you ever wonder if Scott feels like he's being patronized a little too much? We all know blind people can be successful musicians, so it's not as if he's doing something we never thought possible. He seems like a good guy though, so I wish him the best.

Power rankings:

7. Matt Giraud - I think he's due for another trip to the Bottom 3 next week. He barely missed it the past two weeks.

6. Anoop Desai - Being in the Bottom 3 two straight weeks will probably give him a boost next week. He'd just better not mention UNC.

5. Lil Rounds - Opposite gender slot. I'm superstitious about this stuff, I guess. Her long-overdue first trip to the Bottom 3 is a promising sign for those of us who want her gone.

4. Danny Gokey - His consistent averageness can't be helping him grow his fanbase. I get the impression that people are becoming bored with him.

3. Kris Allen - I think he's the Elliott Yamin underdog of this season.

2. Allison Iraheta - She's been picking up steam every week. I think more and more people are starting to love her.

1. Adam Lambert - Come on. He's by far the strongest performer. Kris went to the amusement park this weekend and the only thing the guy he met there wanted to talk about was Adam. Adam makes people pay attention. People remember him. That's crucial in a competition like this. If Adam can keep doing his thing I don't think any of these other contestants has the talent to keep him out of the top spot.

That's it until next week! The past two seasons I've been "won over" by a contestant in the Top 7. In Season 6 it was Phil Stacey and last year it was David Cook. Will Matt, Danny or Lil make me like (or at least tolerate) one of them next week? Stay tuned!

Top 8 - Born Under a Bad Sign

It's a new night of "Idol," and apparently it's also a new era where the judges aren't introduced by a booming voice as they walk across the stage. Thank goodness for that. This show should be about the contestants, not the judges.

We get to see the judges' (and Ryan's) childhood photos. Kara looks pretty much the same, and Ryan makes a subtle joke about Paula's nose job. Paula gets him back by asking if he liked carrots as a kid. You tell that oompa loompa wannabe, Paula!

First up is Danny Gokey, who was born April 24, 1980. Apparently he discovered he could sing in the car one day as a kid. Yeah. Nice try. Singing is a skill which is developed, not something one is born with. Keep perpetuating that misconception though. He's doing Mickey Gillies' (who?) version of "Stand By Me." The minimal background track at the beginning makes his nasal tone more annoying than usual. They all complained about Chris Richardson's nasality. Why not Danny's? When the music picks up and he starts working the stage it gets a little better. Overall, it's just OK. Randy says he didn't love the arrangement, but Danny made him love it. What a dumb comment. Kara says he killed it at the end and made it his own. Um, didn't Ryan say before it began that IT WASN'T HIS ARRANGEMENT?! This is David Cook all over again. Paula says he set the bar high for the rest of the show. Whatever. Simon says the beginning was good, the middle was lazy, and the end was terrific, so overall it was great. That math doesn't seem to add up. I think it was forgettable, but Danny's not going anywhere this early.

Kris Allen gets to chat with Ryan about the Idols' day off. He says that a guy at an amusement park told him to tell Adam he said hi. Poor dude. Of course, Adam's the most buzzworthy contestant, so I can't say I'm surprised. We find out Kris was born June 21, 1985 and wanted to be a taxi driver as kid. In this economy that's probably a better bet than being a singer. He's doing Don Henley's "All She Wants to Do is Dance" on the stage in the middle of the mosh pit, complete with an electric guitar. This arrangement is kind of Vegas-y. It's a tad cheesy and overblown, but cool. There's not much to say about this performance. The vocals are solid, but it doesn't feel like he's doing anything original here. It's just pretty good for me, dawg. Kara says it felt like jazz/funk homework and that he lost a lot of youth. Paula says he made the song more melodic and is one of the more likable contestants. Simon calls it indulgent, boring and forgettable, and says he came over as a guitarist who wanted to sing. Randy seconds the self-indulgent comment, saying he thought the arrangement overtook the singer. I kind of have to agree. I think he was trying to go for the Jason Mraz white funk-pop thing again, but he overdid it a little.

Token diva Lil Rounds is next. She was born October 20, 1984 and named after her grandma Lily. She follows What Not to Sing's suggestion to do something from Tina Turner's Private Dancer album. Her choice is "What's Love Got to Do With It?" The beginning is slightly rough, and some of the big notes are lacking in power, but overall she seems more in control of the song than usual. This may be her best performance since "The Way You Make me Feel." Hey, she has a tattoo on her leg! I knew she wasn't as classy as she wanted to appear. Paula says she wanted her to go outside the box, but it was too karaoke. Simon says it was a second- or third-rate Tina Turner. He wants her to take a song no one's done on the show and makes it hers. Ummm, Simon, that song never had been previously done on this show. Randy says he doesn't think she's listening to their advice. Kara says she didn't make the leap from singer to artist. I'm confused. I'm no fan of Lil, but it seems like the judges are harder on her than they need to be a lot of the time. Does anyone else get the impression she's being thrown under the bus so that Allison can be the chosen female (as, let's face it, she should be)? Lil says she wants to prove she's an artist next week. Of course. It's always next week with some contestants. I bet you it'll be more of the same.

Anoop Desai is ecstatic his Tar Heels won the NCAA basketball tournament. I know UNC is a tight-knit school, but a lot of people (including me) despise their basketball team. Mentioning that on the air isn't doing you any favors, Anoop. Ryan chats with him about his apparent annoyance with Kara last week, and Anoop apologizes, saying he overreacted. Well, he's trying to stay likable, at least. We learn he was born December 20, 1986, and his parents say they always envisioned him doing something big, but they didn't think it'd be this. His song choice is Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors." Haley Scarnato did this one! What happened to songs that haven't been done before, Anoop? The vocals start out soulfully garbled, but they're mostly on-pitch and I enjoy the performance progressively more as it goes on. By the end I'm lovin' it. I still hate UNC, but Anoop does a great job here. Randy calls it a very nice vocal. Kara says he controlled the song, not vice versa. Paula calls it fantastic, his best so far. Simon compares him to a musical yo-yo and says it wasn't fantastic, but good. I wish Anoop were better at handling the uptempo stuff, since being a soul balladeer will only get you so far.

Scott MacIntyre, born June 22, 1985, wanted to be a train engineer as a kid. Man, that's two people tonight who wanted to operate a vehicle for a living. Oddly enough, only one possessed adequate vision. He's doing Survivor's "The Search is Over" with an electric guitar. Wow, this is bad. As always, the vocals are poor, and he looks wooden stabbing at his axe. I don't know why he always goes for the high notes when he can't hit them. Does he ever listen to himself? Sorry, but that was terrible. Kara commends him for taking on a difficult song (enough coddling him, already!), thought there were some good parts (such as?) and some overambitious ones. Paula coddles him some more and says the electric guitar surprised her. Scott says his punk side is coming out. Yeah, nothing says punk like a straight cover of an '80s power ballad. Paula says she thought he shouldn't have reached for the high notes, but overall, bravo. Come on. Why can't they just tell this guy his talent is lacking? Simon suggests he return to piano and calls the song horrible. Randy says it all was just OK. Man, they went easy on him. Hopefully the voters go easy on the dialing too.

Our only '90s baby, Allison Iraheta, was born April 27, 1992. Sheesh. I have vivid memories of 1992. That was one of my favorite years. I feel old. She apparently talked too much as baby and the doctor told her mother it was because she was meant to be a singing star. What kind of doctor makes that diagnosis? The village medicine man? She's doing "I Can't Make You Love Me." Uh-oh. Boring and oversung alert! Surprisingly though, this isn't boring. The pitch and phrasing are both great and she makes the performance engaging and watchable. I've got to give her props. Allison does it again! Paula loves that she added some tenderness to a gut-wrenching song and made it her own with the same arrangement. Simon calls it very good but says she needs to be more likable and show more personality. Randy brings up Kelly Clarkson. Could it be? Is the coveted "next Kelly" mantle about to be passed? Not quite. Randy only says Kelly talked a lot more, but he does add that like Kelly, Allison can sing her face off. Kara says she took adult content and made it believable and young. OK. Is it bad that Allison always delivers and yet I'm worried about her safety each week?

Matt Giraud was born May 11, 1985 and sang constantly growing up. He got the lead role in "Angels Aware" as a kid. I know this play! I went to a Christian school growing up, so I recognize the lines from the clip they show. Ah, memories. He's doing Stevie Wonder's "Part-Time Lover" and Vegas-funks it up like Kris. Also like Kris, I don't have much to say about this performance. Ummm...it's a good vocal. It seems like something a lot of people might like, but it's not my thing. I tend to phase out during Matt's performances, since they rarely draw me in. This is no exception. I'd rather re-watch Kevin Covais' version of this song than hear Matt's version again. That one was at least interesting. The judges all go crazy with praise, and since we're running out of time, there's no need to recap their brief comments. It's almost 8:00 and there's still one performance to go. Why don't you time your shows better? Yet another reason why adding Kara to the panel was a bad move.

Finally it's Adam Lambert, the first contestant to get the pimp spot twice this season. In fact, Scott's the only one here tonight who hasn't gotten it. Adam was born January 29, 1982 and played dressup a lot as a kid. Why am I not surprised? He's doing Tears For Fears' "Mad World" with a darkly-lit stage. The vocals are good, but the song is pretty boring. It doesn't have the same magic as it did when he toned it down for "The Tracks of My Tears." His voice is a little creaky on the final super-high note. This performance is OK, but it's perhaps my least favorite of his so far. Since we're out of time, Simon gives him a standing ovation on behalf of all the judges. Oh come on. Let's not overdo it.

My performance ranking:

Anoop (7.5 out of 10)
Allison (7 out of 10)
Lil (6.5 out of 10)
Kris (6 out of 10)
Matt (5.5 out of 10)
Adam (5.1 out of 10)
Danny (5 out of 10)
Scott (2 out of 10)

Wow. The only one I thought was below average was Scott's. Am I too generous or was this night just that good? It doesn't feel like it was that good for some reason.

So...predictions. Whose fanbases are strong enough to keep them safe? Lil, Danny and Adam. Matt performed late and got a ton of praise from the judges, so he's probably safe. That leaves us with Anoop, Kris, Allison and Scott. I think Scott's definitely in the Bottom 3 despite being Vote For the Worst's new pick. I think Allison may get a boost from performing late and being in the Bottom 3 last week. Anoop did great, but a lot of his supporters are probably still coming down from their high after the Tar Heels won it. Kris went early and was fairly forgettable, plus he has yet to hit the Bottom 3, so his fans might be a bit complacent. That makes my official prediction:

Bottom 3: Kris, Anoop, Scott
Going Home: Scott

I know nobody's competing with him for votes, but I think he was so far below the rest of the group that he won't be picking up many new ones this week except VFTW's. At least, I can always hope.

Tomorrow the returning Idol is apparently Kellie Pickler. She's been a musical guest every year since being a contestant, hasn't she? Still waiting on Taylor.

Top 9 Results - Throwing Deck Chairs Off the Titanic

Tonight nine becomes eight, and Alexis Grace and Jason Castro are in the audience as witnesses. Ryan tells us that tonight Lady Gaga is here and David Cook sings his latest single for us. Notice he didn't say David Cook was actually there. At least he's honest.

The Ford commercial is set to Corbin Bleu's "Mixed Up," and hey, I think I like it. They do the old "split the screen into three tiers and mix and match bodies and faces" trick. For some reason I actually enjoyed this one better than the other ones they've done this year. After all, who knew Kris could rap?

The group number is "Don't Stop Believin'." Scott plays the keyboards and reminds me of Ed Begley Jr. when he was drumming for Spinal Tap. Kris and Allison get to duet on the first verse. Is this lip-synched? It doesn't seem like it most of the time, but I think it is. On one line Allison seems to be singing with a lot more power than we hear in the vocals. Oh well. At least it's a good song and everyone got a solo. It wasn't as funny as "Hot 'N Cold," but it's the best of the Finals.

A semi-interesting Ford commercial and a semi-interesting group number? I must be dreaming.

They show us a video taking us through a typical Idol week. Matt says it's so busy he usually doesn't know what day it is. Kris says he has no "sexy face" for the photo shoots. Allison says life couldn't get any better. At the end we see that Matt likes to impersonate the others, and his Danny impression is dead on. Well, we already knew he liked to impersonate other singers after last night's performance.

The Idols get a chance to show off their impresions of each other. Danny impersonates Matt's "Viva La Vida" disaster from the Semifinals and plays up the goat vibrato. I have to give Danny some credit. That was actually funny. Anoop impersonates Kris. He sings "How Sweet it Is" and mimics the shouty twisted-face glory note. Another laugh-out-loud moment. Allison gets her shot at Danny too. She does both his "P.Y.T." and "Jesus Take the Wheel." This is actually a really fun segment. I like watching the camaraderie between the contestants. How nice of them to let the Idols run up their royalty bill for it. Too bad they can't spend the money on some new options for their song catalog.

Enough fun, let's get to the results.

Megan Joy, Matt Giraud and Kris Allen stand up. All are sent to stage left. Adam Lambert, Lil Rounds and Allison Iraheta stand up. All are sent to center stage. Scott MacIntyre, Danny Gokey and Anoop Desai stand up. All are sent to stage right. Which group could be the Bottom 3? Um, I doubt any of those groups is the Bottom 3. Kris, Adam and Danny are each in one of them, and there's no way any of them hit the Bottom 3 after last night. I predicted that the Bottom 3 would be Allison, Megan and Anoop, and they're each in a different group.

David Cook and his white "AC" guitar are back on tape to sing "Come Back to Me." He sounds as goaty as Matt Giraud tonight. I think his voice is getting fatigued from all the singing he's done since being crowned the "Idol" winner. The same thing happened with Jordin Sparks. This song isn't bad. Not really my style, but pleasant. After it's over Ryan brings two attractive girls onstage to present David with a platinum record for his first album. David gets a little teary. It's good to see that he's apparently maintained some humility after all he's been through. Maybe that's why he won and Chris Daughtry didn't. They keep showing shots of a lady in the audience. I assume that's his mother? She's certainly proud of her boy. While I still think Chikezie was the best last year, David has proven himself worthy of the title.

Back to the results.

Let's start with group one. Kris is safe. Matt is safe. Ryan recaps Simon's negative comments to Megan last night and asks her how she felt. She says "I love you Simon, but I didn't really care." Oooooh! As expected, Megan is in the Bottom 3. She flaps her wings and caws over to the stools. Is this her real personality or is she going out of her way to annoy people now? There's no doubt she belongs in that infamous triad, but I don't think she's going home yet.

Onto group two. Lil is safe. Allison is in the Bottom 3. Dang it. I'm 2 for 2 tonight. Adam is safe, to nobody's surprise.

Now group three. Danny is safe. Casual approving nod from Danny. Smug it up some more, why dontcha? Ryan pulls Scott over to the safety couches, meaning Anoop is in the Bottom 3. I think this is the second time ever I've predicted the Bottom 3 exactly right. Am I good or what?

Lady Gaga is in the house with her crappy single "Pokerface." She does a piano and strings intro before launching into full performance art mode. If a contestant did this on the Idol stage Simon would probably say it was ridiculous. I don't like this song, so I won't spend too much time discussing this thing in detail.

Ryan asks Simon how many of the Bottom 3 are worth saving. "One," he replies. "Allison!" yells someone in the crowd. That's the correct answer, random audience girl. Even though I really don't want Allison to go I still hate the Judges' Save. If Allison's going home now we'll just have to live with it. Of course, that won't be an issue, as she's the first one sent to safety.

The bottom vote-getter is...Megan. "It's OK!" says Megan, channeling Brooke White. Before she gets to sing again Simon decides to spare us the fake drama and tells Megan she won't be saved after that "I didn't care" comment. Thanks, Simon. We were all sick of her after one performance. Of course, why did that comment seal her fate? Was it because she dared to treat Simon like he wasn't that important or because it indicated the competition wasn't a big deal to her? Either way I'm glad she's finally gone.

It's actually funny to watch her sing-out and realize that a girl this bad made it to a nationally-televised singing competition.

Power Rankings:

8. Scott MacIntyre - I think he had a "Bottom 3 bounce" this week (to go with a better-than-usual performance), but if he returns to his old form next week I think he's finally gone.

7. Anoop Desai - Just not good enough.

6. Matt Giraud - I have my doubts about how well he's connecting with the audience.

5. Lil Rounds - The new holder of the "opposite gender" slot. She's had three straight subpar performances. As Beldar Conehead would say, "unacceptable!" She has demographics on her side though, so she'll be in it this long.

4. Danny Gokey - Not marketable, not as good as the judges say he is and turning off more people every week with his smugness. Eventually the judges will stop pimping him and he won't be consistently in the green on DialIdol anymore.

3. Allison Iraheta - Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I think she's the best overall performer after Adam. She deserves to get this far, if not farther. I'm not positive it'll happen, but I'll go out on a limb and predict it.

2. Adam Lambert - Most people either love this guy or hate him. The hating him part means that those voters will back his opponent just to keep him from winning. There's no denying his talent or performance ability, so the fans that love him should keep him in it to the final week.

1. Kris Allen - I think he has some vocal weaknesses, but his artistry and inoffensiveness should help him pick up voters along the way. He has yet to be in the Bottom 3, so his fanbase is probably bigger than I realized. While he doesn't generate tons of excitement, he's likable and solid enough that he could sneak up and take the title.

Next week is the old Songs From the Year You Were Born theme. Great. Last year they did it and eight of the ten contestants had been born in the '80s. This year I believe it'll be seven of eight born in the '80s. Is this show really that devoid of new ideas?

Top 9 - Don't Download This Song

Hey, I saw that shoe commercial with a cameo from Brooke White before the episode began! Remember last year, when there were actually a few contestants I loved rather than a few I just liked?

Tonight the Idols can pick any song they want, provided it's a popular download on iTunes. Does this mean they have to choose from the technofied garbage that the radio is saturated with these days? Talk about retch-worthy. Fortunately, that turns out not to be the case.

Anoop Desai leads off with Usher's "Caught Up," and he has the backup singers onstage with him to start the performance. How nice of him to give them some face time. The vocals start out a bit iffy but improve over the course of the song. It seems like Anoop either starts out well and gets worse or he starts out poorly and gets better. At least with "Beat It" he was consistently bad from start to finish. I know it's not easy being up on stage, but Anoop looks slightly uncomfortable to me. It's hard to feel a performance like this when the singer doesn't seem like he fully believes in what he's doing. Randy says that vocally it was cool, but he's not sure about the song choice. Kara tells him he played it too safe. Paula says he needs to work on his stage presence. Simon says it was a complete and utter mess and that he came over as a wannabe with no originality. Sadly, I kind of agree with Simon. I thought it was decent at parts, but there was sort of a "trying too hard" vibe to it.

Ladies and gentlemen, your Megan Joy mess for this week will be Bob Marley's "Turn Your Lights Down Low." Ick, her nasal tone is particularly grating here, and her phrasing hasn't gotten any less annoying. The song is boring too. You know you have problems when the only thing that grabs your attention about a performance is how poorly it's sung. Kara really likes her but thinks she's in trouble. Paula says Megan needs to take us by surprise and do something more vulnerable. Simon calls it boring, indulgent and monotonous. Randy says it was like watching paint dry. Judges, did you honestly think she was going to be any good when you put her in the Top 13? Despite the criticism, Megan stands by her song choice after it's over. I can respect her for not trying to let the judges dictate who she is as an artist, but I can't respect her attempts at singing. She's not good. Sorry.

Danny Gokey's doing something a bit different this week: Rascal Flatts' "What Hurts the Most." Let's hope he does a better job with country music than he did on Grand Ole Opry Week. He gets to chat with Ryan about last week, and he tells us that the song was his fifth choice. We've heard that one before. They really need to get some new songs on this show. I genuinely liked the tone to Danny's voice in the beginning. It's grown to annoy me since then. While his voice sounds weird with this song, for the most part he pulls it off. I'm not a fan of his upper register, but overall he does a good job. Instead of going straight to the judges they pause for a few extra seconds to let the cheers rain down. Paula says that from the first note to the cadence he leaves her wanting more. Simon calls it the best of the night so far. Randy says tonight's show starts right here. Tonight's show starts here? I hate that cliche! Somebody shoot Randy in the foot for me. Randy also wants to see him move around more. Kara says he moved everyone in the room emotionally. All right, already. It was good, but it wasn't that good. Tone down the pimping here, judges.

Our crazy redhead Allison Iraheta is playing guitar with "Don't Speak." Uh-oh. This could be bad, as it's out of her usual zone. It starts out sounding better than I was expecting. Her guitar playing goes well with her vocals. She does sound like she's struggling a little on parts of the chorus, but she brings her usual rocker soul to it. It wasn't her best, but it was decent. Randy says she got a little ahead of the beat and brings up that he didn't like her outfit. Kara says the rock in her comes out no matter what she's wearing, and it felt like she was forcing too much. She then echoes my sentiments by saying it was good, but not her best. Paula compliments her vocals again and says she has her going to the finish line. I thought the finale was already determined to be Danny vs. Adam? Simon says it was like a slightly precocious daughter trying to be a rock star and accuses her of shouting the song. I think this could end up as Allison's first below-average performance on What Not to Sing, but I believe it deserves better.

Scott MacIntyre has a new hairstyle, which doesn't solve his biggest problem. The solution to that one is merely a good pair of shades. He's doing Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are" with only the piano. He says he wants to show heart and emotion and hopes to turn things around this week. While his vocals still leave a lot to be desired (the cracking and bad notes are here as usual), this performance does have a more intimate, heartfelt feel to it. While I'm not "jumping out of my chair," I'll give Scott credit for managing to stay true to his style while making us see his passion. If he went down a more Billy Joel pop route than an adult contemporary pop route he might actually be a contestant to watch. Kara says he made a smart song choice and arrangement. Paula says she's most proud of him out of all the contestants. Simon calls it his best performance by a country mile so far. Randy calls it one of the best of the night, which is faint praise mid-show. As much as I've wanted Scott to go for the past few weeks, I think he's earned the right to stay just one more.

Oh no! Matt Giraud was in the Bottom 3 last week! How could such a thing have happened? Get over it, dude. It happens to just about everyone who appears on this show. Tonight he's picking a song for himself rather than to please the judges, The Fray's "You Found Me." He sings with a keyboard in the middle of the infamous "mosh pit." I think a few of these people surrounding him are security guards. The vocals really annoy me for some reason here. They sound like they should be good on paper, but there's something about them I don't like. The goat vibrato is distracting me more than usual. Whatever. Matt's pretty much always been boring. Paula says he aborted the things he did best and it was too soundalike. Aborted? Simon says he didn't get it at all and it seemed like he was trying to sound like someone else. Randy says it was the wrong song choice. Kara says he needs to commit to either the rock or the R&B side of pop, but he doesn't deserve to go home for it. I'm sure Matt's fans will give him an extra boost after the Bottom 3 scare last week, but I won't complain if we lose him.

It's time for the token diva. Let's get it over with. Lil Rounds is doing Celine Dion's "I Surrender." In the words of Barenaked Ladies, it's all been done before. Woo-hoo-hoo. She has another new hairstyle. Looks kind of Trenyce-ish. Now listen carefully kids. How much vibrato do you hear when Lil goes for those high notes? None, you say? Very good! Now what does that tell you? Need a hint? Oh heck, I'll just tell you. It means she's shouting them, not singing them. Her middle register has the vibrato, but her upper register is weak. It's time to face the facts: Lil just isn't that good. The whole diva thing has been done much better in past seasons. Randy says it wasn't a good song choice, but she sang it really really well. He wants her to "young it up" next time. Kara says Lil makes going "up there" effortless. Brilliant! Gloss over her biggest problem by acting as if it didn't exist. Paula says it was good, but she doesn't want to see an adult contemporary Lil Rounds. Yeah, I'm sure the teens will be clamoring to buy her album once she's off this show. Simon says she played it safe, compares it to a wedding performance and calls it too old-fashioned. Ryan talks to Lil's kids after the critiques and one of them gets a hug from Randy. Lil tears up. Yeah, yeah, it's the old "pimp the kids so the viewers forget the mediocre performance" routine.

Adam Lambert's here to do "Play That Funky Music." I guess it's fitting that he chose something Taylor Hicks did, as he's another frontrunner who rubs a lot of people the wrong way. His goal here is to make the song current. It seems that making it current means taking the funk out of it and slowing it down a little. Of course, his trademark wild, tongue-baring screams are there. Say what you will about Adam, he's never boring. I don't know if he makes the song better here, but it's certainly interesting and most importantly, entertaining. Paula says true genius shatters expectations, and that Adam has it. Simon says it was very brave and original, even if it won't make him more popular. Randy says he's in the star zone. Adam takes a minute to give Rickey Minor and the band some props for helping him with the arrangement. Good to see this whole frontrunner thing hasn't gone to his head too much. Kara says she can't wait to see what he'll do next each week. You and the rest of America, Kara.

That leaves Kris Allen with the pimp spot. Like Adam, he's trying to make his song current. His song choice? "Ain't No Sunshine." This guy sure likes fitting R&B/soul songs to his style, doesn't he? He's done Michael Jackson twice, Marvin Gaye and now Bill Withers. It's admirable that he does that rather than picking songs that already fit his style and just doing karaoke versions. Instead of the guitar he's rocking the keyboards tonight. Well, maybe not rocking, as this is a slow song. As usual, he sounds great and does a good job making it his own. My only complaint is that like Lil, his high notes tend to be a little shouty. For some reason I don't find it quite as bad, perhaps because I see actual artistry from Kris and not from Lil. Randy says Kris has been slaying it lately. Kara has three words: That. Is. Artistry! Take that, Simon! Paula says it could be the first cut from his album. Simon says he showed the confidence he needed and it was his best performance so far. Has this guy come a long way or what? First he was an uninvited guest in the Top 13, now he's almost a dark horse to win it. Good for him.

After they recap the numbers Megan stands behind Ryan doing a dumb dance and mouthing "vote" repeatedly. You're not funny. Go away.

My Performance Ranking:

Adam (8 out of 10)
Kris (7.1 out of 10)
Danny (7 out of 10)
Scott (6 out of 10)
Allison (6 out of 10)
Anoop (5.5 out of 10)
Matt (4 out of 10)
Lil (3 out of 10)
Megan (2 out of 10)

Prediction:

Bottom 3: Anoop, Allison, Megan
Going Home: Allison

I really hope I'm wrong here. Allison's become one of my favorites in the last few weeks. I think she has the same problem that hurt Alexis though. Her performance was OK, but not outstanding enough to make America vote out of sheer admiration for its awesomeness. It wasn't bad enough that her fans want to rush to her rescue either. While my initial gut feeling was to pick Anoop to go, I got several busy signals when dialing for him, which tells me his fanbase is still going strong. I never got one for Allison, which makes me think she hasn't established a solid fanbase yet. Honestly, if I had to choose between Allison and Anoop at this point, I'd rather keep Allison. There are too many guys already. As for Megan, she's clearly meant to be this year's contestant who won't go away. I don't think it's her time yet, though I can always hope.

Tomorrow we'll be seeing a David Cook performance that's several weeks old and Lady Gaga will be there too. Does anyone else find it ironic that you need to be a good singer to be a contestant on "Idol," yet they promote these crappy, overproduced dance fluff artists on their result shows? First Kanye West and now this. Then again, when has life ever made sense?