American Idol Season 9 Auditions: One Man's Story

If you read my blog this past season you may have caught me making the occasional suggestion that I should try out for this consarn show. Well, I have good news for you: I did it! The auditions came to Chicago this past weekend and I made up my mind that I was going to be there. After all, I had nothing to lose, right? Well, I guess I lost some time and money, but those would be more than made up for by the knowledge that I experienced the phenomenon that is "American Idol" firsthand.

On Saturday I got up early and took the train downtown. I'm fortunate that I live within walking distance of a Metra train stop. Since it was the earliest weekend train, there were only about four people in my car. I did notice some younger people getting off with me though, and I wondered if they were going to the auditions too. The Metra line ends at the Ogilvie Transportation Center on Madison St. The auditions were being held at the United Center, about two miles down the road. Pretty convenient, eh? I was fortunate that I didn't have to wait long for a bus, as I'd walked from the OTC to the United Center before and knew it to be a long distance. It flew by while I was on wheels.

Saturday was just a registration day, so I didn't bother to warm up my voice before going in. I have a tendency to be a pretty shy person, but I knew that if I ever made it on this show I'd have to be more outgoing. While I was in line I noticed a girl who I'd seen while I was getting off the train. I decided to do something totally out of character: I struck up a conversation with her. I asked her if she was auditioning alone, since it seemed like just about everyone in line was there with someone. She turned out to be friendly, and we ended up talking for most of the time in line. All these years I've been shy about approaching people. Who knew it was so easy?

We talked about music and "Idol" mostly. I told her I didn't know if I was good enough to make it, but I at least wanted to give it a shot. I asked her who her favorite from this past season was, and she said she liked Adam. I told her Kris was mine, and she said she thought Kris was the most talented but she liked Adam better. She also said I looked sort of like Kris, which I guess I do a little. The only other famous person I can recall being told I look like is Josh Hartnett. It's exciting to have a growing list of celebrity lookalikes. The girl also told me she tried out in Los Angeles back in Season 3 and made it past the first round of judges. She was immediately dismissed when she sang for the producers though.

Two other people eventually joined our conversation. I'm pretty sure they were a boyfriend and girlfriend, and the guy said he was a worship leader at his church. They were from Ohio, and the guy said he'd auditioned in multiple cities the past two seasons but never made it past the first round of judges. I don't think I'd have that type of determination. They had some good tips, such as not to bother showing up at 5:00 on the day you sing, since they won't let you in until 8:00 and all they want to do is film the large crowds.

I asked the guy who his favorite from last season was, and he paused for a second and said "Gokey." I wasn't surprised, since I figure a worship leader might connect well with someone like Danny. The girl from the train said she didn't like Danny because she thought he was smarmy. I just said I thought he was boring. We found some common ground in that we all liked Allison though. I'm glad I met these people, because there's not much else to do except sample the free Coke products they pass out and wave at the camera when it comes by. I occasionally heard people showing off their singing skills, but the ones who went on too long eventually got on my nerves.

After all the waiting outside in the heat it was finally time for them to let our section into the United Center. In the transition from outside to inside I got separated from my new friends from the line, which disappointed me. For some reason they told us to have our IDs ready when we entered the building, but there wasn't much sense in having them out, because the first thing that happened to us when we got inside was to be spread out across the floor and filmed saying things like "Welcome to Chicago!" and "Season 9 starts right now!" followed by the requisite cheering and arm-waving. There was also a chant of "Yes we can!" which I was less than enthusiastic about. To their credit, the producers who were orchestrating the whole thing had a sense of humor about it. Several of their remarks indicated they knew how cheesy and contrived it was.

Once we were done with that we got our wristbands and left. The "Idol" website says to have two forms of ID on you, but they only check one. Wearing that wristband for two days is a pain, let me tell you. I was constantly having to cover it with plastic wrap and even seal it with tape so that water wouldn't get in. I also learned that taking a shower with a plastic bag covering your entire left hand significantly detracts from the soothingness of the experience. Even as I write this my wrist still feels like it has something on it.

The piece of paper we got with our wristbands told us to be at the venue by 5:00 AM, but based on what the couple from Ohio told me I figured I didn't need to kill myself to get there that early. Still, I took the earliest train in just to be sure I wasn't too late. Once I got to Madison St. I found out I'd just missed the bus, so I decided to walk it for a while. Eventually I saw the bus coming, so I ran to the nearest stop. It turned out to be a waste of money, as the United Center was just a few blocks away. That was strange. I distinctly remembered it being farther when I walked it in the past. Perhaps it just seemed longer because the sidewalk was more crowded back then and everything was moving more slowly.

I got to the United Center just as they were starting a new line, so I ended up at the front corner of it. I got to see all the news people reporting from the auditions up close. I was hoping I wouldn't be seen at first, but as it went on I thought it might be cool if I was interviewed. It never happened though.

There was a reporter from the local Fox affiliate there who was looking for people from different parts of the country. Apparently she was doing segments that would air live on various cities' local morning news shows. She asked if anyone was from Detroit, and it just so happened that the people near me had come from the Motor City. She brought some other Detroiters she'd found over to them and then gave each one a few seconds to sing. After it was over their cell phones started ringing. Their friends had just seen them on live TV. Since I was standing right behind them the whole time it's possible the good people of Detroit saw me on their screens. I wanted to go up to the camera and yell "Go Blackhawks!" but I thought better of it.

Those people from Detroit were cool. I think two of them were a brother and sister, another guy was their cousin and the woman they were with was their aunt. I spent a lot of time talking with them. I asked them if they'd watched the past season, and they said they hadn't watched much of it. The girl said she thought Kris Allen was too average and that Adam Lambert was too musical theater. Once again though, she liked Allison. I tell you, that little red-haired girl's going places. Interestingly enough, their tickets were in Section 202, the same as mine. They told me they'd registered on Sunday, yet here we were in the same section. I guess being early isn't as much of an advantage as I'd thought.

When they finally let our line in they told us to keep it orderly and wave to the cameras as we walked by. I think they were trying to see who really wanted to be on TV. Once we were all seated we had to film the crowd shots. They gave us several phrases to say, followed by more requisite cheering. I got tired of clapping after a while, but hey, I wanted to show my enthusiasm for the experience.

One phrase was "Welcome to the CHIL." The guy in charge said that since the first three letters in Chicago are "CHI" and it's in Illinois, abbreviated "IL," you could combine them to say "the CHIL." Everyone around me grumbled about how lame it was, since no one calls Chicago that. Apparently he heard some grumbling down on his level too, since he asked "Do you want to change it to Chi-Town?" which everyone cheered for. "Welcome to Chi-Town!" it was.

There was also "I'm the next American Idol!" followed by "No, I'm the next American Idol!" I'm sure I wasn't alone in thinking that was corny. Others included "Simon will blow you away!" (a reference to being in the Windy City) and "Send me to Simon!" (which he got from a sign someone was holding). There were probably others, but I don't rememeber what they were. Most of them probably won't even air.

The best part of this group stuff, in my opinion, was when we had to sing our city song, Katy Perry's "Hot N Cold." I'm not a big Katy Perry fan, but the song is pretty fun, especially when you get to sing it with a group. Remember, you're talking to a guy who loves the group numbers at the result shows. I noticed a guy in the section below me who was really getting into it, dancing and doing hand motions for "you're in and you're out" and "you're up and you're down." That may be the closest I ever get to participating in an AI group number, so it was special to me (oops, did I give away the ending of this post?).

If you're not familiar with how the auditions work, you line up in groups of four and are then sent to tables where employees from "Idol" listen to you sing. You basically just sing one at a time and then get called forward as a group to be told yes or no. If it's a yes they hand you a golden ticket and you get to do further interviews. If it's a no you get your wristband cut and go home. It's not necessarily the most in-depth process, but considering how many people were there (they said it was the second-biggest crowd they'd ever had), it's probably as fair as it could be.

After all the tables were set up the waiting game began. The first people who got to audition were the winners from Disney World's American Idol Experience attraction, followed by Section 101. The 200 section wouldn't have their turn until the bottom floor was all done, so we got plenty of time to observe the people down there.

There was a guy in the row behind me singing "Everything" by Michael Buble. There was nothing special about his voice, but his mother, who was there with him, was very encouraging. He talked about how he couldn't wait to see Simon today, but some of the girls in our section told him Simon wasn't there. He said something like "Man, if Simon's not here I'm going to hit someone." He disappeared when the auditions began and suddenly one of the girls from his row spotted him in line downstairs for auditions. Apparently it was possible to sneak ahead of your section. I wouldn't have risked it though, since you'd probably get thrown out if you were caught. His mother commented "I taught him well." I love parents who applaud dishonesty, don't you? After his group got the results from the judges he motioned to his mother with an unenthused look on his face and she said "It's a yes?", got all excited and went downstairs to go with him. Considering the guy didn't look happy and wasn't being given a golden ticket I don't know how she interpreted it as a yes, but it was good comedy for the rest of us.

From the 200 section you couldn't really hear anyone singing except the occasional wisp of really loud belting that found its way to our ears. It sounded as if some people were singing opera too. Other than the short-lived tenure of Stevie Scott, has an opera singer ever appeared as a contestant on this show? The people in my section noticed that Table 2 was probably the least generous. I don't believe we saw more than one person get a golden ticket from Table 2 the entire time we were there. We also saw a few "characters" get golden tickets from other tables, no doubt intended for the gag reel. I remember a guy who did a bunch of karate-type moves, a heavy-set woman who knew how to shake her thing and a guy wearing a pink boa off the top of my head. Two characters who didn't make it were a girl in a red dress and devil horns and a woman dressed like a hot dog.

Around noon I dozed off a few times. Sitting there waiting wasn't exactly stimulating, and the building's air conditioning was freezing. I'm just glad we had a nice clean indoor venue instead of an outdoor one. A lot of people were getting nachos and cheese from the concession stands, but I opted for a hot dog instead. It was cheaper and probably not quite as salty. There were little indented sections in the walls which made convenient rehearsal spaces. I felt weird about practicing in front of strangers, but I did do some warmups in one of them. It was hard to focus on my own singing while I was surrounded by other people who were much louder and technically better than me. I suppose it might've helped me to warm up a little more, but I felt good enough about the way I sounded.

I'd been going back and forth over what song to sing, but the more I thought about it the more I felt like I had to do a song that feels right everytime I sing it. There is one song like that. It doesn't require a ton of range, but I like the way my voice sounds on it. I made up my mind that I was going to do that one. It was my best shot.

Around 1:30 it was finally Section 202's turn. They tell you to bring back your ID for the audition day, but they never checked it. The better to fluster us with, I suppose. They require you to give them your entire ticket as well as the signed page only of your release form. Collecting only the signed page made me wonder if they'd have any legal claim about stuff that was mentioned on the first page. I'm no lawyer or anything, but it seems like a loophole waiting to happen.

I didn't realize I'd be so nervous when I lined up. I went into the experience with an easygoing attitude, since I knew I probably wouldn't make it, but when you realize that you could be starting the journey of a lifetime based on how you do in the next few minutes it really hits home. My group of four was originally sent to Table 1, but another employee moved us to (you guessed it) the dreaded Table 2.

I was the second one to sing, so I busted out the song I felt confident I could nail. What was this magical mystery song? None other than Tommy Roe's "Sheila." Yep. I figured they'd heard a lot of the same stuff over and over, so doing something like that would make me stand out. Besides, my goal if I ever get on "Idol" is to bring 1960's bubblegum back to the mainstream. My nerves unfortunately got the better of me, because I didn't feel good about my vocal performance. It's hard to sing when they're staring straight at you.

When they called us forward to give us the results, we were told that there were some nice voices in our group, but it wasn't what they were looking for. In a way I was relieved. If they'd sent me through at that point it probably would've been as a potential bad audition, and I didn't want that. After waiting around for so long I was happy to be out of there. Of course, I say that without even considering the people in the 300 section who probably waited twice as long as I did.

As I walked out the non-winner's exit ("there are no losers on 'American Idol,'" they told us) I couldn't help but smile a little. Sure, I'd been rejected. Sure, I wasn't getting that new, exciting moment to shine I was hoping for. I felt different though. I felt proud of myself for having had the courage to try. It might seem like a small thing to some people, but as someone who's spent most of his life afraid to take risks and be confident in himself, it was a huge step. I may never be an Idol, but at least I'll never have to look back and wonder "what if?"

So what's next? Do I plan on trying out again in the future? Well, I am eligible for one more year, but I don't know if I want to put myself through that tiring process again. I doubt they're coming to Chicago two years in a row, so unless I'm out of town next year and auditions just happen to be nearby, this may go down as my only tryout attempt for "Idol." If I do though, I'll be sure to post about it here. Of course, if I get past the judges they might make me delete this blog, so if it suddenly disappears that should be a clue to you, my four readers.

I'm already looking forward to next season, because when the Chicago audition episode airs I'll be able to say I was there. Who knows? Maybe some of the people I met in line made it through. Perhaps I'll even see myself in the crowd. That'd be strange. Also, when someone gives an awful performance this season I officially have the right to say they made a mistake by passing on me. They didn't want the retro pop-rocker? Serves 'em right!

So what advice would I give to people auditioning? Obviously it's a bit limited, since I didn't make it very far, but here it is (some of this was covered earlier, but I'll repeat it here as a reminder):

1. Despite what they say, you only need one form of ID. If you have a driver's license in your wallet you're good to go for the whole process.

2. Don't bother showing up until sometime between 6:30 and 7:30 on audition day. Your ticket from registration day determines where you'll be sitting.

3. Only bring the signed page of the release form on audition day. They won't collect the entire thing.

4. At best you have about a one in a hundred shot of passing the first set of judges, so don't walk into it assuming you've got a spot locked up.

5. Be confident when you sing for the judges. You won't get the Simon Cowell treatment if it's a no. Don't worry about what your fellow auditioners think either. They're going through the same thing you are.

6. Enjoy the experience. Don't be afraid to make friends with others in line or embrace the cheesiness of it all. It may be more fun than you think.

And...that's all I got. I'm definitely glad I tried out, so if you're considering it, I say go for it.