Season 8 Finale - Color-Coordinated Idols and Musical Guests Galore

Here it is: the last show of the season that I have to recap. Not that I don't enjoy writing this blog, it's just that it's a labor of love which can be tiring at times. I'm about burnt out, so it's good to see the end in sight. Whoever is crowned our winner tonight will be worthy of the title, so I can sit back and enjoy it (while rooting for Kris, though).

Ryan tells us there were just under 100 million votes last night, bringing the season total to 624 million. That's crazy. I think it's a sign that more people these days use power-dialers instead of voting by hand. Me? I'm old-school, so I still press redial over and over on my cell phone. Of course, if I were really old-school I'd be using a rotary dial just to hear that comforting busy signal that tells me my favorite contestant has tons of support.

Ryan pays respect to the four who've professionally guided us throughout season. Guided us? You mean dictated their opinions to us in an attempt to make us choose their favorites? Oh, he was being facetious, because there's an accompanying clip poking fun at each judge. Well that's kind of funny. Those four buffoons deserve it.

Mikalah Gordon is dispatched to Kris Allen's hometown of Conway, AR this time, and she tries to talk to a little girl who doesn't know what to say. Mikalah handles it well by improvising "She's speechless!"

Adam Lambert's hometown of San Diego has as its host...Carly Smithson??? What was wrong with Matt Rogers? Attention hog that she is, Carly has to remind us that she couldn't win it for San Diego last year. No one cares about you, you carpetbagger. We want to hear about Adam.

The Top 13 sing "So What?" by Pink. Man, I hate this song. I usually love the group numbers, but I love them much less with crappy songs like this. Allison Iraheta gets to give the audience a karate kick. We missed you in the Top 3, Allison! Wow, Jasmine Murray gets one of the few solo lines. I guess they needed to remind America she existed.

David Cook is back to sing his new song "Permanent," which, if I'm not mistaken, is about his brother who recently passed away's struggle with cancer. This guy and his family have obviously been through a lot in the past two years, so I feel for them. The "mosh pit" has their hands randomly waving to no particular rhythm throughout the slow part of the song. Just listen to the lyrics, kids. This song is supposed to be heartfelt and emotional. David talks about his brother a little afterwards, and he says that this performance is going to be available on iTunes after the show, with proceeds going to ABC Squared. Awesome. I wish both David and ABC Squared the best.

Now they're doing the cheesy "Golden Idol Awards" portion of the finale. Oh brother. Was there ever any demand for this? The "Outstanding Male" nominees are: Wil Kunick, who apparently sang "Mad World" for his audition, Michael Gurr, the guy who was too nervous to enunciate at his audition, Elijah Scarlett, who has the deepest voice known to man, Dean-Anthony Bradford, the warthog who said "the carpet matches the drapes" and of course, Nick Mitchell, the guy who actually made it to the voting rounds. Of course, Nick wins. He claims not to have been prepared, then reveals his "Normund Gentle" outfit underneath his regular clothes and reprises "And I Am Telling You" in his ultra-campy style. Let's be honest, how could they not bring this guy back for the finale? We'll never see anything like his Semifinal performance on this show again.

Our first Idol-and-established-star duet is "Cue the Rain" with Lil Rounds and Queen Latifah. What's the point of this? Lil is boring and not particularly good. Seriously, is anyone interested in this? Is Anoop going to get to duet with anyone? He did finish ahead of Lil, after all. Then again, Carly Smithson and Michael Johns were featured in a duet last year while Kristy Lee Cook, who finished ahead of Michael, got jack squat. There's a lot of favoritism in these finales.

We come back from the commercial to see Anoop Desai singing "I'm Yours." Alexis Grace then joins him and introduces the man himself, Jason Mraz. This is a good song but...I'm freaking sick of it after hearing it on the radio at work over and over. What an odd setup. Anoop and Alexis get center stage with Mr. A-Z while the other Idols serve as the background chorus in the wings. Oh well. Good for Anoop. He deserves some screentime.

Ryan asks all the Kris Allen fans to cheer and rolls a video of Kris' journey on the show. How can you not smile when you see this? I'm so glad we didn't have to see this type of crap with Danny. Now Kris gets to perform "Kiss a Girl" with Keith Urban. Kris fan and upbeat song fan that I am, I love this moment. Well done, sirs.

Once again we come back from the commercial and are violently thrust into a musical number. This one features our five girls singing Fergie's "Glamorous" before Allison introduces the real Fergie. She then sings "Big Girls Don't Cry" before Allison pipes up again to tell us the rest of the Black Eyed Peas are in the house. At this point it's just "screw the Idols, we have big-name guests!" The girls are no longer anywhere to be found. I don't know about you, but I care more about the Idols than this crap. This show is supposed to be about them. Oh well. It gives me time to polish up this recap so I don't have to do it later. Oh wait, there the girls are! On the platform behind the judges! Hooray.

Time for more stupid awards. The nominees for "Best Attitude" are: Bikini Girl Katrina Darrell, who was only put there for drama, Alexis Cohen, who I don't think anyone has ever found funny except the producers of this show, and Tiffany Shedd, the weird spoiled girl with too much makeup. Katrina wins of course, and she's back with her bikini and a bigger bust, which Seacrest jokingly alludes to. She sings "Vision of Love" again and is off-key as expected, but the big twist is when Kara joins her from behind the backdrop and outsings her. At the end Kara reveals a bikini under her dress! And all this time I thought Kara took herself too seriously. Kara says she's only doing it because they agreed to donate to her favorite charity if she did it. Kara DioGuardi in a bikini for a good cause? It's a win-win! As much as I can't stand her fake personality, I have to admit she's a very attractive woman.

Allison gets her duet with Cyndi Lauper on "Time After Time." I'm not sure why they didn't give Allison a more rocking duet partner, but hey, I don't make the big bucks. They're sitting in front of a bunch of TV's with pictures of clocks on them, which I think is obnoxiously literal, but hey, I still don't make the big bucks. It's kind of cute at the end when they both sing "time after..." and Allison just looks confused and smiles. I can't think of anything else to say about this one, which is probably why I don't make the big bucks.

Ryan talks to Kris' and Adam's parents, and both sides give classy statements that honor both contestants. Gotta love that. There's so much goodwill here tonight!

Danny Gokey gets his moment in the spotlight on Lionel Richie's "Hello," which of course, leads to the real Lionel Richie being brought out to sing a few songs. I guess I can tolerate Danny a bit more now that he's in no danger of being our American Idol, and their performance of "All Night Long" is fun. If only Danny sang stuff this enjoyable when he was in the competition instead of always trying to "inspire" us. OK, enough Danny-bashing. He did a good job here.

Ryan asks all the Adam Lambert fans to cheer, and it seems louder in the house than it was for Kris. They roll a recap video of Adam's journey, which isn't quite as touching as Kris', but it's fun to look back on what a great performer he's been. We immediately move to him singing "Beth" by KISS. Now that's an odd choice. I was going to make a joke about how certain lines in this song take on a different connotation with Adam singing, but I'll pass. Of course, we all know what this means. It means KISS is in the house! Adam gets to join them on "Detroit Rock City" and "Rock and Roll All Night." This is both corny and freaking awesome at the same time. Paul Stanley even breaks his guitar at the end while Adam glory-notes in the most appropriate context I've ever heard. Rock on! I think the two best duets we've seen tonight have been with the guys in the Top 2.

Carlos Santana is the next guest. The segment starts with old Carlos soloing before Matt Giraud comes in to sing "Black Magic Woman." All the Idols join in when we hear that familiar riff to "Smooth." Adam, Kris, Danny and Jorge Nunez get the solos on it. This is OK, but very filler-y.

The final Ford video is set to "I Will Remember You," and as the tradition goes, it mainly consists of a montage of clips from this year's Ford videos. As soon as it ends we see a video of David Cook awarding Kris and Adam the keys to two new Ford Fusions. Awesome. I guess now that they've been on "Idol" they can afford insurance on those things.

Next is perhaps the oddest duet: Michael Sarver and Megan Joy backed by Steve Martin on the banjo performing one of his originals called "Pretty Flowers." Whoa, I didn't know Steve Martin could play the banjo. The real question though, is when did Steve Martin start looking so old? You know, I never fully appreciated Michael's voice during the competition, but he sounds pretty good here. Megan, of course, never could sing, so tonight is no different. This is another fun moment. Old Stevo knows how to write a good song. Ryan asks Steve Martin afterward who he thinks will win, and Steve says he's hoping it's him. Good way to avoid the question. Make a joke. I think that leaves Scott MacIntyre as the only finalist who hasn't gotten a solo part tonight.

The next musical number features the guys singing "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?" Everytime I hear this song I can only think of Mike Myers in So I Married an Axe Murderer as Charlie's father singing this song with bagpipes. Oh boy! Rod Stewart is here! And singing "Maggie Mae" all by himself! Well, it's better than the five minutes of George Michael singing solo last year. Or the solo Black-Eyed Peas performance just an hour ago. They show a shot of Bo Bice clapping along in the audience, who seems to be aware that the camera just flashed to him and points to the stage in admiration.

Now it's time for the final (thankfully) Golden Idol Award, "Outstanding Female." The nominees are: Chelsea Marquardt, who butchered "Without You" at the auditions, Irene Anguelova who goatily butchered "Over the Rainbow" at the auditions, Dana Moreno, whose upper register sounds like a two-year-old and Tatiana Nicole Del Toro, who totally deserved to be in the Top 13. We all know Tatiana is going to win, and she does. Ryan tells Tatiana to stay seated because they're out of time, but of course, she runs onstage to sing "Saving All My Love." Security tries to take her away while Ruben Studdard sits in the audience looking bewildered. This was obviously staged. I'm just glad to see Tatiana can poke a little fun at herself after the way she was portrayed.

Now it's time for the Top 2 duet, which is "We Are the Champions." Why did I think that this song was going to show up somewhere this season? Bonus! Queen is actually here to back them up! Hey, who are all these random people lining up onstage? The rest of the Top 13 is standing behind the drum set doing backing vocals. At least I recognize someone here. This is cool. Brian May gives Kris and Adam a hug after it's over. I'll bet he wishes Adam were fronting his band right now.

Let's see, the Top 2 duets over the years:

Kelly/Justin: "It Takes Two"
Ruben/Clay: "Ain't No Stopping Us Now"
Fantasia/Diana: "I Knew You Were Waiting For Me"
Carrie/Bo: "Up Where We Belong"
Taylor/Katharine: "(I've Had) The Time of My Life"
Jordin/Blake: "I Saw Her Standing There"
David/David: "Hero"
Kris/Adam: "We Are the Champions"

Yeah, they've been getting cooler in recent years.

Now it's time for the moment of truth. Simon tells them that they both have great futures ahead of them or some such thing. Some British guy who personally certified the results hands Ryan the card. Blah-dee-blah-blah. Let's get to the results!

The winner of American Idol is...KRIS ALLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Did you miss that? American Idol #8 is....

KRIS


ALLEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Whoo!

Even though I predicted it last night I still don't quite believe it! A contestant I voted for every week he was in the competition actually won it? The least-pimped member of the Top 13 ended up finishing ahead of all of them? How is this possible? All I know is that I love it!

Kris looks absolutely shocked to be the winner. Adam, classy guy that he is, steps aside to let Kris have the spotlight. Of course, since Adam is such a good friend to Kris he later runs out to give him a hug and then exhorts the crowd to cheer Kris some more. Kris said in an online interview that each week he advanced in the competition was a surprise to him, so this has to be overwhelming.

He gets the new winner's trophy shaped like an old-school microphone. That's pretty cool.

Kris is absolutely speechless. He almost looks like he thinks there's been a mistake. He keeps motioning to the other contestants as if to say that they're all better than him, but Ryan won't hear it. Ryan asks him what he has to say to the fans who voted for him. He says thanks, and that they're not only the reason he's there, but the reason all the other finalists are there. I could write a cyncial remark about the Wild Card, but I won't. I'm proud of Kris. Against all odds, he pulled off the unthinkable and stayed true to himself the whole time. This isn't just a victory for him, it's a victory for the American Dream.

Simon looks unhappy. Screw him! America loves humble!

He sings that winner's single one more time and the Idols all surround him on the platform. How can you not be happy for this guy?

Kris gets a hug from his wife after it's all over. Oh yeah, congratulations to the first married contestant to win American Idol, too! In fact, I believe he's the first married contestant to make the Top 3 (I believe Bo Bice and Syesha Mercado were both engaged though, and Danny, of course, was widowed).

Wow! So what else to say? This season started on a poor note, with the producers practically rigging the Semifinals and giving contestants who tanked a second chance in the Wild Card over people who'd performed much better. As we got deeper into the Finals though, things got more and more enjoyable. After everything that happened, no ending could've been better than to see Kris Allen, the ultimate underdog, crowned the champion. I don't think he'll end up being ranked among Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood and David Cook in the pantheon of "Idol" winners, but within the structure of the show itself he proved his worth. What a great night.

I considered giving up on "Idol" after the way this season began, but now, for better or for worse, I think I have enough reason to be back for Season 9. Kris' victory gives me hope that any attempts the producers make to rig the outcome can be thwarted by an American public that's smarter than Simon and the Brits in charge think they are.

Well, it was a fun ride, but I'm glad to have my Tuesdays and Wednesdays back. Now I can focus on some of my other interests, like sports. Check out my other blog, by the way! It's in the early stages, but it'll be great someday! Maybe it'll eventually generate even more traffic than this one!