Top 3 Results - Nostradamus Abdul is a Fraud

We get a promotional intro with the cast of Night at the Museum where they tell us that the "Idol" desk is going to be displayed in the Smithsonian. I guess that makes sense. I'm sure that in decades, when "American Idol" is long off the air, we'll look back on all the cheesy fun and remember the times it brought the family together. The disgusting manipulation and unlikable contestants will be forgotten, and the singers we fell in love with will still hold a place in our hearts. Love it or hate it, this show has been a phenomenon.

Ryan tells us that 88 million votes came in, and just 1 million votes separated the Top 2. Wow. If Danny is one of those Top 2 this show is officially a joke. There's no way a guy as hated as him could get that much support...is there?

The Ford music video is set to "Break My Stride." Cool song choice, and not a bad video either. We get to see the Top 3 as animated comic book characters.

Alicia Keys is here as a global ambassador for Keep a Child Alive. She gives a robotic speech telling us about kids who have AIDS and how we can support them, or something. She then introduces a kid named Noah who dreams of having a music career. He's getting to perform a song called "I'm the World's Greatest" (or something to that effect, I don't care enough to go back and watch the tape) tonight, which he learned in English in one week. There's something surreal about this whole thing. Here's an African kid playing Americanized music and working the stage R&B-style. American pop culture seems to be taking over the world. Good luck to Noah, I guess, even if I don't see myself buying his music.

Eliminated finalists in the house! Obviously they're all there to rehearse for next week's finale.

Danny Gokey is the first one called up to face the music. Oh, come on. Like they're going to give him the results now. They bring up Danny's friend Jamar who talk-sang his way to Hollywood this season. Danny was finally reunited with him on his trip home to Milwaukee. They show him having fun with the local weathercaster's green screen, poking a picture of Simon. What an ingrate. Simon's pimping is the only reason he made it this far. One of the signs in the crowd says "Scream On." Huh. I guess some people actually liked last week's note from hell. They show him throwing out the first pitch at a Brewers game, and it's obvious that sports aren't his forte. Of course, we also get to hear Danny's reflections on how far he's come since losing his wife and all that. Why am I not that emotionally moved by it? I do genuinely feel bad for Danny's loss, but...I dunno. I guess I just feel like this story has been beaten to death. Once the clip ends Ryan acts like he's about to give Danny the results, but instead he sends him to the couches. We go through this every year. Obviously they're going to save the elimination for the end of the show so you don't tune out.

Kris Allen is next. He went home to Conway, AR, where he got free cheese dip for life from his favorite restaurant. Sounds like a good deal to me! The crowd is filled with young girls, which doesn't do much to dispel the stereotype about us Kris fans. Believe it or not, some of us Kris fans are heterosexual adult men! He gets to see his family, and his father tears up because he's so proud of his son. In a weird way, I'm proud of this guy too. His journey has made a much better story than either Danny's or Adam's. Even though Danny has the dead wife backstory, I'm more touched by Kris' video for some reason. Maybe it's because Kris seems like a regular guy getting to experience something beyond his wildest dreams, and Danny seems like a scripted character. After the clip ends, Kris is sent off to the couches with Danny.

Ms. Jordin Sparks is here to perform her new single "Battlefield," with co-writer Ryan Tedder of OneRepublic is on the piano. Despite the "pitchy" beginning, this song is actually pretty good. It's not exactly what I expected from Jordin stylistically, but I kind of like it. They sure used a lot of dry ice for this segment. I guess that explains why there appeared to be smoke in the room when Ryan was introducing Jordin. After it ends Jordin just stands there bathed in blue lights looking tough and we head to a commercial. Ryan doesn't even chat with her afterwards. What's up with that? I miss the cute, bubbly Jordin from Season 6. This grown-up version isn't as endearing.

Now it's time for Adam Lambert's trip home to San Diego! Ryan brings up the now-famous "streaker" who ran onstage when Adam was performing back home. There's a shot of her in the video too. His limo gets swarmed by screaming tween girls and old ladies. If the females were more in his age range I'd use this as another opportunity to point out how unfair life is. Adam visits a theater group he was part of in his childhood. And he keeps saying theater is just something he does to pay the bills. It's in your blood, Adam. Just admit it. He also sings the national anthem on some stage with a curtain behind him. I don't know what that's about. Finally, Adam gets sent to the couches where he gets a hug from Kris but not Danny.

Quirky pop star Katy Perry is here to perform her latest single, "Waking Up in Vegas." She's dressed like female Elvis with "Adam Lambert" written on her cape. More pimping, huh? Then again, I think I heard she was friends with Adam before he was on this show, so maybe that's the explanation for that. Wow, this girl really can't sing. The song is kind of catchy though. There are backup dancers dressed like showgirls and fake money all over the stage to go with the Vegas theme. I guess the best way to mask a weak voice is with some theatrics.

So after all that it's finally time to get the results. Will the preordained Danny-Adam finale come to pass, or will Kris' fans pull him through? The first person in the finale is...KRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Once again I'm clapping and shouting "YES!!!!!!!" Wow. This may officially be the best season ever. One of my early favorites has actually made it to the finale! That never happens! And the person joining him in the finale is...Adam!!! Danny's outta here! What a relief! The villain is gone! I can sit back, enjoy the finale and be happy for whoever wins (while rooting and voting for Kris, of course).

As long as I'm excited about Kris, I thought I'd say a few more words about him. Is this unbelievable or what? This guy who got almost no screentime before the Semifinals and only a moderate amount of pimping during the competition is now in the finale! On top of that, there was only a difference of a million votes between him and super-pimped Adam! Heck, for all we know Kris was the leading vote-getter! When he made it out of Semifinal Group 2 with Adam and Allison we kept hearing the same thing: Adam was an incredible performer, unlike anything this show had ever seen, Allison was quirky and interesting, and Kris was boring and lacked a personality. Pretty much everyone thought Kris would be gone within the first few weeks. Now Kris could be the last one standing! For all the crap this season gets, it's been great watching a true underdog live the American dream!

Power Rankings:

2. Adam Lambert

1. Kris Allen

Yep, I'm calling the upset. Adam may be the most pimped and popular, but Kris has grown throughout the competition. I (and it seems many others agree) am starting to feel like Adam's used up his bag of tricks, while Kris has wowed me more than once since the last time Adam did. Not only that, but who do you think is more likely to pick up Danny's votes? The flamboyant guy from Hollywood or the unassuming Midwestern kid? As great an entertainer as Adam is, Kris has all the momentum right now. If Kris does indeed claim victory next week, he'll replace Taylor Hicks as my favorite winner. If Adam wins, well, I'll be happy for him too. He's unquestionably this season's best pure vocalist, and he knows how to put on a show. Either way, I'm excited about next week's finale. As Tony the Tiger would say, it's going to be grrrrrrrrrrrrreat!