Top 12 Girls - Ladies First

So after all the waiting we're finally getting some performances out of these people! Now I have to write these recaps again! OK, OK, it may seem like a chore sometimes, but I'm sure once I find a favorite in this thing it'll get more exciting. Unfortunately, I won't be able to watch Lost, tonight which makes me glad Hulu exists.

Before I get to this recap I want to say a few things. For starters, I don't think I'll be continuing the play-by-play format of my past recaps this year. I'm sorry. I realize the world will seriously miss replaying the entire show through my eyes. It gets tedious recounting every judge's comment and useless filler segment they give us though, so unless some of that peripheral stuff is interesting I'll get straight to the point and talk about the performances. After all, the music is why I, and I'd assume most viewers, tune in.

Second, I'm going to try to be more consistent with my ratings this year. Last year I didn't have the best mental calibration of what each level meant, so some of them ended up making little sense in retrospect. I thought I'd spell out what each level means, which will make it easier for me and hopefully anyone else who might care about my ratings.

0/10: Horrific in every way.
1/10: Very, very bad, with perhaps a redeeming quality or two.
2/10: Clearly subpar, though not quite a trainwreck.
3/10: Strictly mediocre, forgivable but definitely not good.
4/10: Below average, but not terrible.
5/10: Average, about what you'd expect an American Idol contestant to be capable of.
6/10: Above average, but nothing that blows me away.
7/10: Good enough that people should take notice.
8/10: Very impressive.
9/10: Incredible, though not out-of-this-world.
10/10: Absolutely, breathtakingly perfect.

That's the system I'll be sticking to (or at least trying to stick to). Any decimal places I might add means that I found some middle ground between these levels, or that I wanted to identify the superior performance of two similarly-scored contestants. Like last year, I'll try to be as fair as possible.

Anyway, enough talk! Let's see how our girls did tonight!

First up, Paige Miles from Naples, FL, singing "All Right Now" by Free. The guitar sounds too low, which highlights the nerves in her voice. Ugh. She seems nice, but she's clearly not suited for this song. Too quavery and her enunciation is weird. While I didn't see all the preliminary stuff, I don't remember much from her in Hollywood. When you combine a poor performance with going first and a lack of screen time, I think she's an early favorite to leave this week. The judges disagree, and praise her to high heaven. Simon even says she has the best voice of the girls. Well, what do I know? Hey, I like the new graphics! The font they used in the auditions and Hollywood really left me cold.

Next is Ashley Rodriguez from Chelsea, MA. Sorry, but I hate Boston. Their sports fans are the most insufferable jerks you'll ever meet. The idea that a girl might be a Red Sox fan is a huge turnoff. You shan't get my vote, Ashley! I'm not sure if she likes the Red Sox, but we do know she likes Jordin Sparks. Heck, she even kind of looks like her. Therefore, she probably won't win. We don't need any duplicate winners. Her song is Leona Lewis' "Happy." The mix is terrible again. I know they want to highlight the vocals, but it leaves the singer too vulnerable. I'm not overly impressed with this. It's not terrible, but there are too many pitch problems here and there. The judges think it's too safe and Simon says she might be in trouble.

Janell Wheeler from Orlando, FL, a wine sales rep, is next with Heart's "What About Love." Hmmm. Finally someone with good enunciation. There's a soft piano backing to start, but once again the low mix leaves her voice bare and vulnerable. If she goes slightly off-pitch it's painfully obvious. I think they may have cut costs this year by replacing the live band with a backing track. She's clearly nervous, but there's something endearing about it. So far it's the best of the night. The judges' main criticism is her song choice. Eh, I think it worked OK.

Next is Lilly Scott. That's two L's, like Evangeline Lilly. Hey, did I mention I'm missing Lost tonight? The graphic says she's from Littleton, CO, though she says Denver. Maybe she wants to downplay her connection to the location of the Columbine shooting. Wow, she's only 20? I can't believe this girl's younger than my sister! Her song choice is The Beatles' "Fixing a Hole." Huh? Filler from Sgt. Pepper's? I'm not a big fan of her vocal mannerisms, but she pulls off everything she attempts to do here. Definitely the most interesting one so far. I'll give her a thumbs-up. Once again the judges agree with me (which may or may not be a good thing).

Katelyn Epperly from West Des Moines, IA is pretty, but I know she has a tattoo on her back, so...yeah. That drops her attractiveness rating a few points. Odd. They have her made up and styled to death for this performance. On the plus side, her rendition of The Beatles' "Oh! Darling" is superb. She makes it her own and hits all the notes. I like the slight raspiness she's got. Good job. We're seeing some improvement as the night progresses. The judges don't seem quite as high on the performance as I am, but they give her her due props.

Haeley Vaughn from Fort Collins, CO got her nose pierced to celebrate making it to Hollywood. The uglification of American girls continues. It's the third straight Beatles song, this time "I Want to Hold Your Hand." Interesting choice. She does an acoustic guitar version which is kind of cool, but she oversings too much at parts. She definitely got talent though. Her constant smiling is nice in theory, but her mouth is so big that it can be a little overbearing. I'll give her credit for an original performance concept, but I'll dock her some points for a flawed delivery. Simon rips into her while the other judges offer mild criticisms. She's had enough pimping that I think she'll be here next week, and I'm interested to see what she does.

Amarillo, TX's Lacey Brown is an event coordinator at a church. I don't like the red hair dye, but I guess it's less offensive than tattoos or piercings. Knowing this group, Lacey probably has at least one of those things, but we can always hope not. She does Fleetwood Mac's "Landslide," a slow song that's way too boring, and she occasionally stumbles on her words. Ergh. She seems likable, but this just isn't that great. No connection at all. The judges are all negative in their critiques. I'd say Lacey's in trouble. That was too forgettable.

Michelle Delamor is a sales associate, who also taught a children's choir in Miami, FL. Her family supports her big time. I mean BIG TIME. She has a posse everywhere she goes because they're so committed to her. She sings "Fallin'" by Alicia Keys. Wow, now here's a voice that carries the song. Some of the high stuff is a little awkward, but I like it overall. She keeps it under control pretty well and she seems to have a good feel for what she's doing. I wouldn't call it incredible, but definitely solid all over. Simon compliments her look, which doesn't surprise me given his thing for curly-haired women. Hey, I'm not knocking him. I love curly-haired women too. The judges all seem to agree with me again: strong, but could've been stronger. I like Michelle. She seems like a classy woman among a group of girls I'd never marry. Watch her end up having a tattoo or something.

Next up is Didi Benami, a waitress (and plant) from Knoxville, TN. She sings "The Way I Am" by Ingrid Michaelson. What to say about this? Nice...I guess. I like some of the stuff she does with her voice. To be honest, I sort of blanked out during this performance. It just didn't grab me. The judges all agree with me once again that it was too dull.

Cape Cod, MA's Siobhan Magnus has an Irish first name, a Scandinavian last name, and a ton of quirk. Nose ring? Check. Tattoo? Check. Glassblowing apprentice? Odd job check. In her interview package we find out that she talks robotically, sings like Adam Lambert and doesn't know what the term "dark horse" means. This girl is so odd and yet, strangely compelling. Her version of Chris Isaak's "Wicked Game" is actually really good. She's in control and really captures the song's feel. Everything clicks. The judges all agree with me again. Why don't they just put me on the panel and get it over with?

Crystal Bowersox from Elliston, OH has been getting a lot of screen time as the dreadlocked white mother who's kind of grungy. She sings Alanis Morissette's "Hand in My Pocket" and plays guitar and harmonica with it. I'm still not a fan of hers, but I'll give her credit for a good performance here. The rhythm is catchy, and her vocals are suited for a song like this. The judges all love her, and only Simon wants more from her, namely that she choose something more challenging. That's actually good advice. I'd like to see if Crystal could do something outside her comfort zone.

Katie Stevens from Middlebury, CT (I had a feeling she'd go last before the show began) was interviewed earlier before Michelle's performance, so between that and the pimp spot we know they intend for her to go far. She chooses "Feeling Good" popularly done by Michael Buble. I just don't get this stinking song's appeal. Why has it been done so many times on Idol? It's obvious Katie's talented, but this performance wasn't the showstopper they were probably expecting it to be. It seemed like it was all technique and no soul. The judges want her to choose younger songs. After all, she's only 17!

Hey, we ended on time tonight! What do you know? This show might go off without a...never mind. In the performance recap montage the lead vocal track cuts out and doesn't come back until the middle of Ashley's clip. Well, what's an Idol episode without technical problems?

My Performance Ranking:

Katelyn (8/10)
Siobhan (7.1/10)
Crystal (7/10)
Lilly (6.5/10)
Michelle (6/10)
Janell (5.5/10)
Katie (5/10)
Haeley (4.9/10)
Didi (4.5/10)
Ashley (4/10)
Lacey (3.5/10)
Paige (3/10)

My picks to go home: Paige and Lacey

I don't think I'll bother voting tonight. There's no one here I love enough (yet) to waste my cell phone battery on. See you tomorrow night when the guys try their hand at this whole Idol stage business!