Top 9 (ii) Results - Two For the Road

To open the show tonight we get yet another recap of last week's oh-so-dramatic results where Mike Lynche was saved. I'll say it again, Idol producers: No one likes the Judges' Save. No one. That save last week was about as dramatic as Super Bowl XX. My brother, who claims to hate this show and only barely follows it, saw that save coming a mile away. Just shut up about it already and stop trying to pretend that your result-screwing idea has any merit whatsoever.

Now that that rant's out of the way, we get to celebrate a return to normalcy with an Elvis medley. Oh, come on. They did the same thing in Season 5 and it was one of the best ever! To their credit though, they don't just recycle the songs from that medley. This ones includes: "Burnin' Love" (used in the S5 medley), "Teddy Bear," "Return to Sender" and "Viva Las Legas" (all not used in S5). This one's a lot cheesier than the first, but hey, they manage to make it fun. And isn't it so dang cute seeing Tim, Aaron and Michael tell the girls they want to be their teddy bear?

The Ford video is set to a song called "Light and Day/Reach For the Sun" and the theme is "going green." I'm not into this.

Dim the lights, we're getting our first elimination now!

Casey James, Aaron Kelly and Andrew Garcia all stand up and are directed to center stage. After some dawdling, the one leaving is...Andrew! Finally! America's gotten sufficiently tired of Ol' Necktat! Since they get to choose their elimination songs this year, Andrew leaves us with "You Give Me Something." He still sounds mediocre. Why did anyone think he was so good in the first place? Well, now I have to find someone else to root against each week. I don't really dislike any of the remaining contestants. I guess Casey and Aaron are safe, so that's one of my two predictions correct. The other contestant I had leaving was Tim, but I hope I'm wrong on that one!

We see a video of Elliott Yamin and Kara making a trip to Africa for Idol Gives Back. That's an odd match, since Kara wasn't judging the show back when Elliott was on. At least when he went with Fantasia they had the common experience of being contestants. Whatever. It's nice to see them making a better life for these kids. Some of the confirmed guests for IGB are The Black-Eyed Peas, Jeff Beck, Joss Stone, Mary J. Blige, Elton John and probably some others I missed but don't care enough to go back and check. Nothing exciting there. I hope IGB is successful in its efforts, but I won't be contributing, as I'm broke right now.

Brooke White's back with some guy named Justin Gaston to perform an Elvis song, we're told. Apparently this Justin guy is the star of a web series called If I Can Dream. Say, do you think...? Whattaya know? That's the Elvis song they're performing! Well, it's nice to see my girl Brooke again. This web series kid means nothing to me. You just know someone paid big bucks to promote that series because this week made a perfect tie-in. My brother isn't familiar with Brooke, and he comments that she looks like Alex from Lost. That's funny. I guess with that bony face Brooke could pass for a blond version of Rousseau's daughter.

For the next round of cuts, the entire bottom row is asked to join Ryan on the stage.

After recapping each performance we learn that Crystal Bowersox is safe! Well, duh.

Siobhan Magnus is also safe!

Lee DeWyze is safe!

That leaves us with Katie Stevens, Michael Lynche and Tim Urban. One of them is the next to leave us! Please let me be wrong about Tim! Before we find out though, it's time for Adam Lambert to take the stage with his new song "Whataya Want From Me." This song is nothing special, but it's nice to hear a guest performer with no autotune for a change. What else to say? Ummm...I got nothing. Let's just get to the results.

First back to safety is...Tim!!! Whoo! I was wrong! Go Timmy Boy! Now it's down to Michael and Katie. Ryan tells us that the safe contestant wasn't even in the Bottom 3. Oh, for crying out loud. Obviously it's Katie going home, then. Michael undoubtedly got a ton of extra support from his fans who don't want to see him leave after last week's close call. Yep, Katie's out. It's a shame it came after one of her best performances. She sings us home with "Let it Be," but she's so choked up that she's off-pitch and nasal the entire time. We forgive you, Katie. You're at the peak of your popularity right now, so enjoy the last few moments of it.

In what was supposed to be a girl's year the guys currently outnumber the girls five to two. Let's see how the remaining seven stack up in my book.

Power Rankings:

7. Aaron Kelly - He had the Bottom 3 bounce this week, so next week is probably the end for him.

6. Tim Urban - Improving, but not as favored as the other five. He'll likely get thrown under the bus.

5. Michael Lynche - He's not interesting enough to go too much deeper. Maybe fourth place, but that'd probably be it.

4. Casey James - If he were more consistently on top of his game I might see him as a real contender.

3. Siobhan Magnus - There's still hope for her to turn things around, but it's hard to envision her winning this thing.

2. Lee DeWyze - The most talented male, but America probably won't want to crown another David Cook just two years after the first one.

1. Crystal Bowersox - She's the only one with the right combination of talent and difference from past winners to win...I think.

Next week is Idol Gives Back, which means the dreaded "Inspirational Songs" theme is returning. Will we be getting a separate results show on Thursday, or are they going to combine the votes from the next two weeks for a double elimination? I'm not sure, but I care not who leaveth as long as it be not Tim!