I always think I won't get nervous, but somehow I almost always do. That's right, it's results night on "Idol"! The only one I'm confident will be safe is Adam, and I'm hoping I didn't spend a lot of time voting for Kris and Allison last night for nothing.
Ryan tells us there were over 64 million votes last night, the highest ever outside of a finale. For some reason I find that hard to believe, unless it means more people are using automatic dialing programs.
The Ford video is set to The All-American Rejects' "Move Along." It features the Idols as paper cutouts. Not one of my favorites. It seems like they're trying too hard to impress us with bluescreen effects this year. Do something funny or creative for a change!
The group performance is "School's Out" with Slash on lead guitar. Awesome! I never thought I'd hear Alice Cooper on this show. Allison gets a solo on the bridge and gets to push Danny. Lucky girl. Most of America wants to do the same thing. He's lucky Allison's a teenage girl. Adam joins in with her and already we're reminiscing about how good last night's duet between them was. I can safely say Danny's voice rocks the least of these four, and that includes Kris'. It's not one of my favorites of the season, but it's enjoyable.
It's time to chat with the Idols. Kris Allen says he didn't expect to make it to the Top 4 and being there is surreal. Ryan says he should think he deserves to be there and goes to Simon for support. Simon, agrees of course, and tells Kris we don't want humble anymore. Don't listen, Kris! Your humility is part of what makes you a true American Idol! Yes, I know that sentence is incredibly cheesy. I don't care though. I'm supporting Kris until the end! Adam Lambert says it was his favorite week yet and that he loved his outfit. Danny Gokey thinks the horrible final note from last night was hilarious. Whoa. He has a sense of humor about himself? I guess he enjoyed the impersonations the others did of him way back in the Top 9 or whenever. Who cares? I still don't like him. Allison Iraheta says she talked back to Simon last night because he was asking for it. Come on. She really didn't "talk back," she just responded to their criticisms and explained why she chose the song she did. It didn't seem rude or anything. But what do I know?
After eight seasons Paula Abdul is finally going to perform live on this show. I guess those producers were tired of getting flooded with requests for it. It's good to see Paula taking a more active role this year. First she choreographs that number from a few weeks back and now this. The song is called "I'm Just Here For the Music." Oh boy! Autotune! Of course, she's probably lip-synching anyway, so it's not like it's worth making a stink about. This whole routine is set up as sort of a live music video, with visuals emphasized over the music. There's even a cheesy postscript where Paula tells the guys to stop begging her because she's just there for the music. This song might get played in dance clubs or something, but I don't see it making an impact on the charts. Of course, now that Paula's supposedly off her painkillers she's probably thinking clearly enough to know not to expect it.
No Doubt is here to perform their hit from over a decade ago, "Just a Girl." Awesome. Another musical guest who could be outsung by any of the contestants. Gwen Stefani is more about bringing energy to the stage by bouncing around and doing pushups than her vocal ability. She says "I'm just a girl...at American Idol!" in the middle. Interesting. When No Doubt performed at halftime of Super Bowl XXXVII back in 2003 she said "I'm just a girl...at the Super Bowl!" I guess that's one of those things she does with that song at every live performance. It's kind of like how when Cheap Trick performs "Dream Police" live Rick sings "they're right here in [name of city]" during the bridge. I wish I had the opportunity to hear "they're right here on American Idol!" Then again, Cheap Trick ought to be promoting their new albums, not the 30-year-old Dream Police. They aren't just some nostalgia act. They'd blow all these crappy musical guests away. Oh yeah, this is a recap of "American Idol." Moving on...
Now it's time for results and I'm feeling queasy. First we get to see a montage of clips from hometown trips past. Beautiful moments. This is when the Idols get to see how famous they've become in under a year. How poignant. Ryan tells us they're filling three stools in random order to announce the Top 3. In other words, the order they're declared safe isn't indicative of the voting.
The first person to be sent to safety is...KRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I actually clapped and yelled "YES!!!!!!" when they announced it. I'm seriously happy for this dude. He deserves it as much, if not more so, than anyone here. Oh, what a relief. One down, two to go!
Daughtry time. They remind us of Chris Daughtry's Idol run and show a clip of his shocking elimination. The full clip is hilarious every time I watch it on YouTube. Chris has this really smug look on his face just before Ryan tells him he's going home. Ahhhh, good times. Chris and his band are debuting their new song "No Surprise." Well, it sounds just like every other Daughtry song. Whoop-dee-doo. I'm sure we won't be able to escape this thing in about a month, so all of you who are inclined to enjoy Daughtry better enjoy this now before you get sick of it. Kris ("our other Kris") gets to present them with a platinum record after it's all over. Good on them, I guess. I'm still not a fan.
Time to reveal the second member of the Top 3, and it is...Adam! Well come on, who didn't see that coming?
So we're left with Allison and Danny, and the final person in the Top 3 is...Danny? CRAP!!!! I mean...what? Why? This is...weird. Danny has no business in the Top 3! Urgh. This is wrong. The perfect Top 3 was just sitting right there and America let it get away. What a bummer.
Allison seems totally cool about it at first, but you can see tears in her eyes when she's singing for the last time. Awwww. America loves you, Allison. Just look at What Not to Sing's average contestant ratings and look how far you are ahead of Danny! Speaking of Danny, we get a shot of him watching from the sidelines while Allison sings. Um, why do we care about this jerk right now? This is Allison's moment to be honored.
Well, I guess it was too good to be true. A Top 3 where I liked all of them was too much to ask for, I suppose. Now it's possible the Gokeburger could make it to the finale. Good news, Blake Lewis, Justin Guarini and Katharine McPhee! If Danny makes it to the finale there won't be anymore debates over the worst contestant to make the Top 2! You'll all be able to say that at least you weren't as bad as that Gokey guy. Let's hope it doesn't come to that though. Kris and Adam for the finale!
Allison, you will be missed. You were the only truly good female contestant in the Finals (no I'm not forgetting Alexis Grace), and your fun, quirky personality brightened up our TV screens every week (man, am I in Cheese Mode tonight or what?). When we look back on Season 8 someday, you, Adam and Kris will be remembered as the stars.
Power Rankings:
3. Kris Allen - Watch out for the bus next week. You just know the producers and judges are giving it another tune-up.
2. Danny Gokey - He's like a weed you can't kill.
1. Adam Lambert - Let's face it: he's unstoppable.
Next week, since the producers of this show are incredibly incompetent at timing, we'll only be getting two performances from each contestant instead of the traditional three. Can you believe it? It's taken us until the Final 3 to get a true multi-solo performance episode. They really need to get this show back on track next season. Hey, Fremantle! I could use a higher-paying job!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
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5 comments:
I think the scream actually helped Gokey. VFTW is behind his awfulness now, and his minions and lonely housewives felt bad for him.
Becky - I have a feeling you might be right. Hopefully they voted so hard this week that next week they'll be too worn out and Danny will finally be eliminated.
the ironic thing about lip-syncing is that popular media outlets do it all the time, but it never seems to fool anyone
I have a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach that Gokey is going to win it all. YUCK! If we're lucky, he goes away next week.
Kristi - I know it's tempting to feel that way, but a lot of people (including me) thought David Archuleta was going to win last year too. While a lot of people didn't like Archuleta, I don't think he was hated nearly as much as Danny currently is. Shoot, has this show ever had a "frontrunner" who inspired as much hatred as Danny? If Danny makes it to the finale I think a lot of people will be voting for his opponent just to keep the title out of his hands.
There's about twice as much buzz surrounding Adam as any other contestant (plus he's the best singer and performer), so that gives me confidence that he'll be winning this thing.
I hope Danny gives us a pair of epic fails next week and Kris, allowed to select any song he wants, redeems himself after being out of his element with rock. Then America will really have to sear their consciences to vote Danny into the finale. I'd also like to believe that both Adam and Kris will pick up some of Allison's votes. Maybe we'll get lucky!
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