Semifinal Group 3 Results - This is All Too Predictable

The Top 12 just keeps on growing! Tonight three more lucky contestants are going to join that elite group, and after tomorrow's Wild Card show it'll finally be complete! But first...a group number!

The song is Katy Perry's "Hot and Cold." Wow. I never thought they'd use a song on this show that made a reference to PMS. The girls start the singing up on the balcony before they cut to the guys sitting on an upholstered bench on the main stage. Alex looks awkward and lost the whole time, Scott obviously has a tough job with his two degrees of tunnel vision and Nate seems to be loving every minute of it. I think I'm with Nate here. Just when you thought "Idol" couldn't get any cheesier they went and did this. They picked a really insipid song, made the choreography extra-cutesy and then forced the Idols to go out there and execute an intricate routine of head turning and leg crossing. The first week's "I'm Yours" was just OK and last week's "Closer" was a yawner, but this was possibly the highlight of the season so far. Our Idols seem to realize how incredibly cheesy it is, but they handle it by embracing it rather than mailing it in. This is one likable group of contestants. Could we forget the ones who were already voted into the Finals and just let Group 3 be the Top 12?

There's another hidden audition during the commercial break. I'll probably unpause the tape for this just in case it's a good one we might be interested in seeing. Nope, more uselessness. Is that the same girl from last week? Actually, forget I said anything. I don't care.

Now it's time for results. We know Scott and Lil are locks, so the producers are idiots if they don't save the third spot for last this time. They show us a recap of last night's performances. No big whoop, it's just standard-- hey! They show Alex's performance as one of the "rough spots" from Tuesday's show! Morons! That was legitimately good!

Ryan chit-chats with the contestants. Nathaniel says he took last night's feedback with a grain of salt. Jorge says he's honored to get a shot when there are so many talented people in Puerto Rico. How come they didn't show up at the "Idol" auditions if there were so many of them? Felicia says she was pleased with her performance, but recognized there were a few rough notes. Ju'Not says he had an asthma attack during the rehearsals for "Hot and Cold" and had to go see a doctor about it. Good thing he didn't have to miss out on the fun of doing it live!

Lil Rounds is the first to stand up. Good, let's get this out of the way. She makes the Top 12. Hooray. If I were a casual viewer and not a recapping diehard I'd be glad that she's giving me a bathroom break every week in the Finals. Kara says to expect ridiculous vocals from Lil each week. You know what's really ridiculous? The fact that so many voters can't see through the transparent manipulation of this show. Lil sings "Be Without You" again, as if I cared about it the first time. Her final glory note is still shouty.

Arianna Afsar, Taylor Vaifanua, Alex Wagner-Trugman, Kendall Beard and Scott MacIntyre all stand up. One of them is through to the Top 12! I'M ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT HERE! I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHICH OF THESE FIVE IS GOING TO MAKE IT! DON'T TORMENT ME SO! Ryan asks the rhetorical "who will it be?" question to America, and people in the audience start shouting "Scott!" before we go to the commercial break. Obviously I think it should be Alex, but for some reason a bunch of fans are buying the line that he stunk last night. Nothing could be farther from the truth.

It's not Arianna, and you can tell she knows it before they even give her the news. It's not Taylor either, surprise, surprise. Alex says he'd rather lose being himself than win being someone else. That's the attitude, Alex! Be proud of who you are! Unfortunately, America deals him the former card. I guess we members of the brotherhood of geeks weren't enough. Oh well. It's America's loss. I hate having opinions that rarely reflect the majority. Kendall and Scott are the last two, and this is a tough call. Will it be the guy who's been pimped since his audition or the girl who got minimal screentime and turned in a bad performance last night? If it's Kendall that means Felicia and Kristin are automatically eliminated. What a cruel trick that would be! Why, the producers ought to be ashamed of themselves if they do that! Of course, it's Scott, so Felicia and Kristin both still have a chance! Another crisis averted! Scott sings again, and now I'm bored with him.

The drama twins, Nathaniel Marshall and Kristin McNamara, are together again. Neither one makes it. Good, now we don't have to hear their Hollywood story rehashed every time they're shown. I don't have a problem with either one otherwise.

Felicia Barton and Von Smith are next. Neither one makes it. Dang it! I tried, Felicia!

Finally the producers get it right. They narrow it down to two people who sang well the previous night and have a roughly equal amount of fan support. Perhaps they had enough brains to look at DialIdol after all. Either Jorge Nunez or Ju'Not Joyner is in the Top 12. Ryan fakes them out by acting as if they're going to a commercial break, only to tell them they'll find out right now. Whoa, that was odd. I actually found myself disappointed that there was no commercial break. The one going through is...Jorge! Well, good for him. Jorge is overcome with emotion yet again, and he can only speak in Spanish. I don't hate this guy, but I can't say I'm interested in anything he offers musically.

We have nine people in the Top 12 now, and so far my favorite of them all is Kris Allen. Boy, this season is shaping up to be more boring than last year.

Now it's time for the judges to announce their Wild Card picks.

Randy's first pick: Von Smith. Eh, he did well last night, but it's like the rich keep getting richer. I have a feeling we're just going to see the pimped contestants snatch up all these spots.

Kara's first pick: Jasmine Murray. Again, an obvious pimpee. This is obviously a favoritism pick, since her approval rating on What Not to Sing was pretty low.

Paula's first pick: Ricky Braddy. Now that's what I'm talking about. Give the people with no screentime a chance to shine.

Simon's first pick: Megan Corkrey. Yeah, yeah. I knew it. The judges love her and are going to force us to love her too. This is depressing. I can't say I didn't see it coming, though.

Randy's second pick: Tatiana Del Toro! Yes! I love Tatiana! Once again she has a reason to tear up onscreen. Before you say anything, I know the judges have no intention of putting her in the Top 12. She's only there because she's been set up as the villain for this season. I don't care. I'm glad we get to see her again.

Kara's second pick: Matt Giraud. Ugh. I know I've said it a hundred times, but I just don't like this guy. Again, this is obvious favoritism. His performance in the Semifinals didn't warrant a second shot, but they're going on what they saw in Hollywood. Call me crazy, but I think if you do well when the show goes live that should mean more than doing well during the audition process or Hollywood. There has to be a lot more pressure during the voting stage.

Paula's second pick: Jesse Langseth. Cool. More fodder with talent that deserves to be seen! Hey, when did she get a tattoo on her arm? Blah. Jonny Lang's little sister is one crazy chick.

There's only one spot left. Who's it going to be? I know it won't be Alex, but there is one final name who'd be a glaring omission from the Wild Card. America needs you to pick him, Simon.

Simon's second pick: Anoop Desai! Yes! You got it right!

Jorge gets to close the show with "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me," since he didn't get to sing it earlier. Wow. I would've completely forgotten if you hadn't reminded us, Ryan.

OK, now that I'm done recapping this episode, I thought I'd take this opportunity to give my thoughts on the current season so far.

"American Idol" is one of the greatest concepts ever. If you like music, it has that. If you like seeing average joes get their fifteen minutes of fame, it has that. If you like the thrill of competition, it has that. If you like analysis, it lends itself to that. All these are among the reasons it was once the biggest show on TV. The only problem is that the producers seem to think they can do no wrong. They assume people are going to tune in no matter what. If they were really paying attention they'd realize that even longtime fans are starting to get fed up with "Idol."

I know I'm probably the five billionth person to complain about the reversion to the Groups-and-Wild-Card format, but it really has been a disaster. The ratings have plummeted this season, and there's a good reason why: fans are starting to see the show as a farce.

Because advancing to the Finals means getting the most votes, not just avoiding the bottom of the list, the judges have had to up the pimpage just to be sure their favorites continue. Ryan even says before the show begins that the judges are there to help guide us in our voting decisions. I don't recall him saying that in the past. Now there's this Wild Card round. Three members of the Top 12 will be selected by the judges, and our votes in past weeks aren't even taken into account when selecting them. Is it becoming clear why viewers are tuning out? The interactive aspect has always been part of the show's appeal. If they think we shouldn't be able to decide for ourselves, what's the point? If we just wanted a variety show where we had no say in who we saw perform, well, there's probably a Lawrence Welk rerun on somewhere.

Since there are enough easily-manipulated voters out there to overrule the rest of us, there's been very little unpredictability about this season. The result shows so far have been almost completely devoid of true drama, since "Idol" thinks we're a bunch of numbskulls who buy into their manufactured drama. "Who's it going to be, Tatiana or Danny?" Cut the BS, we're not stupid. Anyone with half a brain knew that Tatiana had no chance of getting more votes than Danny. If they'd saved Anoop vs. Michael for last that week it would've been much more interesting. Considering how much this show relies on tense moments, you'd think they'd at least manage to maximize the viewers' uncertainty. It took them two weeks of getting it wrong before they finally got it somewhat right this week.

Under the old Top 24 format there was more of a reason to care. You were more motivated to vote during the Semifinals, because if your favorite was one of the bottom two vote-getters he or she was going home. The way it is now it's so obvious who's going to make it that you basically figure "why bother?" if your favorite is one of the less-heralded contestants. The Top 24 format at least gave you hope.

Since we don't get to vote for the Wild Card show, I figure the judges already know who they want. I'll bet you the three who make the Top 12 are Megan, Anoop and Matt. They've gotten the most pimping, and of the three only Anoop deserves it (I'd pick Ricky, Tatiana and Anoop, but that's just me). As I mentioned above, my current favorite in the Top 12 is Kris Allen, but if Anoop makes it I'll probably vote for him too. Last year the Top 12 had three I really liked: Amanda, Chikezie and Brooke. It looks like the most I can hope for this year is two. That's not a good thing.

Tomorrow we find out who can do the best with only one day to prepare. I think that means more repeats of songs we've heard on the show ad nauseum. Joy. Maybe Von will bust out "And I Am Telling You" this time. Why the heck not?