Top 13 Results - Bye Bye Boredom

Tonight we say goodbye to two people. It won't be easy, as we've grown so attached to them over this long-unfolding process, but we'll have to find a way to cope.

Ryan tells us that last night brought in 33 million votes, the most ever at this point in competition. If that's true it's because the power dialers are the only ones still watching. Of course, there's also the whole issue of there being an extra contestant this time, so...yeah.

Is it just me, or is it getting old hearing Randy boo Simon everytime he's introduced? Simon does deserve to be booed with the way he's runing this show into the ground, but it just seems like a poor attempt at humor when the Dawg does it every week.

So this twist we've heard about, what is it? Well, look at these faces: Tamyra Gray, Michael Johns, Jennifer Hudson, Chris Daughtry. What do they have in common? They were all shocking eliminations! They're introducing a new rule this year: The Judges' Save. Up until the Top 5 the judges can save an eliminated contestant. They can only do it once, it has to be unanimous, and two will go home the following week. Well OK, that's not as bad as the judges picking who goes home, but I'm still not a fan of it. Ryan asks Simon if it means Chris Daughtry could've won, and Simon says yes. Ummm, no it doesn't. Chris Daughtry was eliminated in the Top 4, as was Tamyra Gray. Whatever. It's all part of their continual ploy to convince us America got it wrong with Taylor Hicks.

If they'd saved Michael Johns last year, it means Brooke White would've gone home the next week, since she was in the Bottom 2 with Kristy Lee Cook. As someone who hated Michael and loved Brooke I would've been pretty angry had that happened. Watching that massively overrated Australian get eliminated was one of the few highlights of last season, so I hate this new twist already.

They introduce us to the Idols' new mansion. It has everything, including a bowling alley, a steam room, a pool, a theater and a basketball court. They're living the life, all right. I just hope they have enough time to practice their singing with so much to do.

Group sing! It's a Jackson 5 medley which includes "I Want You Back" and "ABC." Scott, not surprisingly, looks like a mannequin most of the time (even more so than our beloved mannequin from last year, Kristy Lee), and Jorge clearly loses the words at one point. That was fun, but not one of the best they've ever done. Which group number is the best? Hmmm. Good question! Stay tuned to this blog over the weekend and you may find out!

Hey, Nate Marshall's audition is shown during the commercial! Nice to see it now that he's gone and it can't possibly help him build a fanbase. Hmmmm, he sang "Proud Mary" just like Danny Noriega. The similarities end there, of course. Well, actually...

The Ford commercial is set to "We Will Rock You." Boring. The visual is just pictures of the Idols reflected on buildings and cars. Nothing really happens here.

Time for some results! Dim the lights, here we go.

Michael Sarver is safe. Of course! Who isn't going to vote for a good ol' boy from the country of Texas?

Allison Iraheta is safe. Whoo! One of the people I would've voted for!

Jasmine Murray has to come down to the center of the stage. Ryan doesn't say she's in the Bottom 3 though.

Matt Giraud thinks he's going to center stage next, but he's told to go back to his seat, because he's safe.

Kris Allen gets a huge round of applause, and Ryan tells him to stay standing. Megan Joy Corkrey stands too. Kris is safe, so Megan's joining Jasmine. Whoo! Go Kris! Fodder for the victory!

So which one is leaving us? Megan or Jasmine? The safe person is...Megan. No surprise there. Vote for the Worst was behind Megan, and Jasmine really had no fanbase. Jasmine is eliminated for the time being. Of course, while she's singing "I'll Be There" the judges are deliberating about the finality of this result. As if they're going to waste the one-time save on her.

So Randy, now that she's sung for us again are the judges going to save her? Nope. She's going home. Of course. Jasmine tears up, and Ryan tells her how good she is. Carrie Underwood's "Home Sweet Home" is introduced as we see a montage of Jasmine's journey.

Did I call it or what? I referred to her as Leah LaBelle Part II in my preview of the Top 13. She's going to join old Leah as the only contestant to fail to get the public's vote three straight weeks. Well OK, it's not exactly the same, as the public had no vote on the Wild Card show, but you know she wouldn't have made it if they did. Jasmine is also a lot like Leah in that she was a kid who just wasn't ready. Are you paying attention, producers? This is yet another example of why the return to the old Semifinal format was a disaster. You get contestants nobody wants.

Now it's time for Kanye West, here to perform his new single! It's some piece of overproduced garbage called "Heartless." I'm surprised there's room for two egos as big as his and Simon's in the same room. One day in fifteen years I'll pull out this tape and laugh about the fact that this crap was once popular.

Scott MacIntyre is safe. We all know it wasn't because of his singing.

Alexis Grace got the pimp spot, so no jaws drop when she's announced safe.

Danny Gokey is safe of course, because Paula already told us he's going to the finale.

Anoop Desai already knows he's going to center stage after last night's criticism.

Adam Lambert, the other guy in the finale, is safe.

Jorge Nunez stands up and has to stay there. Lil Rounds stands up and has to stay there. Who's joining Anoop? Like there's any question. Jorge!

Anoop and Jorge. So which one is leaving? We'll find out after Kelly Clarkson performs!

Oh come on! Anoop has a huge fanbase! If he goes home it'll be a true shocker. I was thinking Jorge having all of Puerto Rico behind him would be to his advantage, but I guess it's not enough to overcome a boring style and the judges being harsher with him than he deserves. Jorge seems like a nice guy, but I want to see more from Anoop, so I hope Jorge's leaving us.

Ryan introduces Kelly by saying they plan to have a former Idol back each week. So next week it's Taylor Hicks, right? After all, he has a new album to promote. Ryan chats with Kelly, who seems happy about being back on "Idol" despite supposedly having a poor relationship with the show. She says she feels like she's going to be judged again, and that her album has a little bit of every genre on it. The new single is "My Life Would Suck Without You." She sounds a little under the weather tonight. Her voice has definitely gotten grittier over the years. It's probably related to all the high notes she loves to hit. Fun song, even if the vocals are a bit strained.

So we're back to Anoop and Jorge, and Anoop is...safe! Yep. Told ya! Nice-but-way-too-old-fashioned Jorge gets to sing again while he wonders if the judges might save him tonight. What a surprise that they don't.

Now that we've lost two more, it's power ranking time again:

11. Megan Joy Corkrey. The Vote For the Worst pick always goes home in 11th Place.

10. Anoop Desai. He's on borrowed time unless he steps up his game. He reminds me of Chris Sligh, another 10th Placer. There was a lot of hype, but he failed to live up to it in the Finals.

9. Allison Iraheta. She's gotten this far based on performing well, but I'm still not sure if she has the fanbase to save her if she screws up.

8. Kris Allen. He can coast along by singing well, but he's probably got the same fanbase problem.

7. Michael Sarver. I know I had him at 4th Place earlier, but I think he'll be the new VFTW pick after Megan and end up in 7th Place, another spot that often spells doom for their picks.

6. Scott MacIntyre. People will be tired of him by this point.

5. Alexis Grace. This is a guy's year, after all.

4. Danny Gokey. 4th Place is the shocker spot.

3. Lil Rounds. Syesha Mercado Part II.

2. Adam Lambert. See my comments from last week.

1. Matt Giraud. I think he has enough positives and few enough negatives that he'll end up taking the whole thing. Of course, his boring personality could end up being a factor.

This season might not be as crappy as I thought, but they'd better not introduce anymore twists. Check back this weekend for what I hope will be a fun post!