Top 5 Results - It Was All a Bit Taylor Hicks

Ugh. Why am I so nervous tonight? I have this sinking feeling that Kris is going home. That would officially shoot this season to hell for me. Yeah, I guess I'd still have an underdog to root for in Allison, but there's something special about Kris. I guess in some ways I feel like he vicariously represents me-- OK, I'll knock it off. Let's get this recap going.

The song for the Ford commercial/video/shameless promotion/whatever you want to call it is "Energy," and it features the Idols running in slow motion while the Ford car approaches them in a desert. Nothing too interesting about this one.

The group performance is a medley of "It Don't Mean a Thing" and "I Got Rhythm." There are solos on almost every line and it apparently isn't lip-synched, so it's cool. On the latter song Matt, Allison and Danny get the lines about "I've got my [gal/man]" and Adam gets the one about "Old Man Trouble" in between. Strategic planning there, strategic planning. Of course, Danny's gal is no longer with us and Kris' wife still is last I heard. Wouldn't it have made more sense to give Kris Danny's line? I just realized I'm analyzing the appropriateness of solo lines in an Idol group number. When they come to take me away (ha-haaa!) to the funny farm this blog will contain all the justification they need. Anyhow, this medley is short but sweet.

Danny and Allison both celebrated birthdays this week, so we get to see a video clip of the Idols' attempt to make birthday cakes for them. It turns into a food fight between the two birthday kids. Is it just me, or does Danny seem like a bully in this clip? Yeah, I know he's probably "just having fun," but I think he's being a little too rough on poor Allison. Then again, maybe I'm just too much of a gentleman to roughhouse with a girl in such a way. Ryan hands Danny the cleaning bill after the clip ends. Apparently it cost $6000 to clean it all up. Well, look on the bright side. At least you're helping the economy in this recession.

Dim the lights. It's time for results.

Matt Giraud is up first, and he's asked to move to the right side of the stage.

Danny Gokey is next, and he's sent to the left side of the stage.

Allison Iraheta is sent to Danny's side of the stage. Don't let another cake fight break out over there, kids!

Kris Allen has to go stand with Matt.

Now obviously, Adam Lambert is safe, and he'll have to pick the safe group, which will be Danny and Allison. Right? Well, he's not declared safe, he's just told to pick which group he belongs with. He says based on last night, probably with Allison and Danny. Wrong choice, Adam. You're in the Bottom 3 with Kris and Matt. Wow, they're doing a Bottom 3 with five people left? Usually it's just a Bottom 2. At least it was an interesting twist on the "two groups" thing.

How sad that Danny got more votes than Adam and Kris. That's just pitiful. He's the only one left who hasn't been placed in the bottom group now. Is he really getting that much support? If he wins this thing...OK, that's a rant for another time. What it's time for now is Natalie Cole singing "Something's Gotta Give." Well...this is a nice little throwback. I feel bad for Natalie though, as her voice gives out near the end and it seems like she's struggling to hang on. I know what that's like as someone who's sung a little.

Look backstage! Matt, Kris and Adam are nervously waiting to find out who's leaving! Come on, we know it won't be Adam! Matt deserves to go, so the only one we viewers need to be nervous for is Kris.

Taylor Hicks, the winner of Season 5 (wow, I thought they were no longer allowed to acknowledge that fact?), is back singing his new song "Seven Mile Breakdown." Wow, now this is cool. Best returning Idol performance of the season! Of course, it's by the best winner, so it's not that big a surprise. Even Simon gets in on the judges' standing ovation! I really need to set aside some money for Taylor's new album. I've been putting off buying several CD's I want for a while now.

Time to send one person back to safety and it is...KRIS!!!!!!!! Whooooo! THANK YOU FOR SPARING ME, RYAN! Kris has been one of this season's best stories. He worked his way from unpimped fodder up to dark horse. How wrong would it be for his journey to end now with a premature exit?

Now it's time for Jamie Foxx to sing his "#1 smash" "Blame It." Wow. More overproduced Kanye West-like crap. Dude, if you can't sing live without adding a bunch of crappy effects you don't belong on this show. It's hilarious how antithetical many of the guests on the result shows this season have been to the concept of "American Idol." This song will undoubtedly find a special place in history next to Eddie Murphy's "Party All the Time," or even better, "Whatzupwitu." (If you have no idea what that link leads to, prepare to experience a mixture of laughter and creeped out-ness)

So the final verdict is here and the safe contestant is...Adam. Phew! Not that I ever seriously thought Adam was going, but it's nice to see that America got the Top 4 right.

So Matt Giraud's final ranking is bumped from 7th to 5th. That Judges' Save sure was worth it, huh? In all seriousness, while I was never a fan of Matt, I grew to appreciate him more over the course of the competition. If you read my earlier posts I always referred to him as "smarmy," because I just got that vibe from him. When I looked closer though, I started to see him differently. He actually struck me as a guy who struggled with self-confidence and just wanted to be liked, both of which I can relate to. While I didn't connect with him much as a contestant, he at least earned a place on my "OK people" list.

Power Rankings:

4. Danny Gokey - Wishful thinking? Perhaps, but most objective observers would probably agree that Danny is the weakest performer left. The judges' pimping and the sympathy vote are the biggest things that have kept him in the competition. It's almost laughable that he's considered one of the frontrunners when he's been outshone by "dark horses" Allison and Kris for most of the Finals. If this world were fair (which we all know it isn't) Danny would go home next Wednesday. At least there's a small bit of hope we can cling to: if any theme could trip up the Gokester it'd be next week's. You know Allison and Adam are going to own that one, and Kris' fans might vote a little harder after this week's scare.

3. Allison Iraheta - She got extra votes from Simon's comments, but she's been stuck in the Bottom 3 enough times to indicate that she doesn't have the fan support to make it to the finale.

2. Kris Allen - The true underdogs rarely ever win, but they might be able to make the Top 2.

1. Adam Lambert - I have to think this Bottom 3 thing was a fluke. I'm sure his fans won't be so complacent from here on out.


Next week's theme is Rock & Roll, with the legendary Slash mentoring! It's taken them eight seasons to do this theme and at long last it's here! It had better be worth it!