Top 9 Results - Throwing Deck Chairs Off the Titanic

Tonight nine becomes eight, and Alexis Grace and Jason Castro are in the audience as witnesses. Ryan tells us that tonight Lady Gaga is here and David Cook sings his latest single for us. Notice he didn't say David Cook was actually there. At least he's honest.

The Ford commercial is set to Corbin Bleu's "Mixed Up," and hey, I think I like it. They do the old "split the screen into three tiers and mix and match bodies and faces" trick. For some reason I actually enjoyed this one better than the other ones they've done this year. After all, who knew Kris could rap?

The group number is "Don't Stop Believin'." Scott plays the keyboards and reminds me of Ed Begley Jr. when he was drumming for Spinal Tap. Kris and Allison get to duet on the first verse. Is this lip-synched? It doesn't seem like it most of the time, but I think it is. On one line Allison seems to be singing with a lot more power than we hear in the vocals. Oh well. At least it's a good song and everyone got a solo. It wasn't as funny as "Hot 'N Cold," but it's the best of the Finals.

A semi-interesting Ford commercial and a semi-interesting group number? I must be dreaming.

They show us a video taking us through a typical Idol week. Matt says it's so busy he usually doesn't know what day it is. Kris says he has no "sexy face" for the photo shoots. Allison says life couldn't get any better. At the end we see that Matt likes to impersonate the others, and his Danny impression is dead on. Well, we already knew he liked to impersonate other singers after last night's performance.

The Idols get a chance to show off their impresions of each other. Danny impersonates Matt's "Viva La Vida" disaster from the Semifinals and plays up the goat vibrato. I have to give Danny some credit. That was actually funny. Anoop impersonates Kris. He sings "How Sweet it Is" and mimics the shouty twisted-face glory note. Another laugh-out-loud moment. Allison gets her shot at Danny too. She does both his "P.Y.T." and "Jesus Take the Wheel." This is actually a really fun segment. I like watching the camaraderie between the contestants. How nice of them to let the Idols run up their royalty bill for it. Too bad they can't spend the money on some new options for their song catalog.

Enough fun, let's get to the results.

Megan Joy, Matt Giraud and Kris Allen stand up. All are sent to stage left. Adam Lambert, Lil Rounds and Allison Iraheta stand up. All are sent to center stage. Scott MacIntyre, Danny Gokey and Anoop Desai stand up. All are sent to stage right. Which group could be the Bottom 3? Um, I doubt any of those groups is the Bottom 3. Kris, Adam and Danny are each in one of them, and there's no way any of them hit the Bottom 3 after last night. I predicted that the Bottom 3 would be Allison, Megan and Anoop, and they're each in a different group.

David Cook and his white "AC" guitar are back on tape to sing "Come Back to Me." He sounds as goaty as Matt Giraud tonight. I think his voice is getting fatigued from all the singing he's done since being crowned the "Idol" winner. The same thing happened with Jordin Sparks. This song isn't bad. Not really my style, but pleasant. After it's over Ryan brings two attractive girls onstage to present David with a platinum record for his first album. David gets a little teary. It's good to see that he's apparently maintained some humility after all he's been through. Maybe that's why he won and Chris Daughtry didn't. They keep showing shots of a lady in the audience. I assume that's his mother? She's certainly proud of her boy. While I still think Chikezie was the best last year, David has proven himself worthy of the title.

Back to the results.

Let's start with group one. Kris is safe. Matt is safe. Ryan recaps Simon's negative comments to Megan last night and asks her how she felt. She says "I love you Simon, but I didn't really care." Oooooh! As expected, Megan is in the Bottom 3. She flaps her wings and caws over to the stools. Is this her real personality or is she going out of her way to annoy people now? There's no doubt she belongs in that infamous triad, but I don't think she's going home yet.

Onto group two. Lil is safe. Allison is in the Bottom 3. Dang it. I'm 2 for 2 tonight. Adam is safe, to nobody's surprise.

Now group three. Danny is safe. Casual approving nod from Danny. Smug it up some more, why dontcha? Ryan pulls Scott over to the safety couches, meaning Anoop is in the Bottom 3. I think this is the second time ever I've predicted the Bottom 3 exactly right. Am I good or what?

Lady Gaga is in the house with her crappy single "Pokerface." She does a piano and strings intro before launching into full performance art mode. If a contestant did this on the Idol stage Simon would probably say it was ridiculous. I don't like this song, so I won't spend too much time discussing this thing in detail.

Ryan asks Simon how many of the Bottom 3 are worth saving. "One," he replies. "Allison!" yells someone in the crowd. That's the correct answer, random audience girl. Even though I really don't want Allison to go I still hate the Judges' Save. If Allison's going home now we'll just have to live with it. Of course, that won't be an issue, as she's the first one sent to safety.

The bottom vote-getter is...Megan. "It's OK!" says Megan, channeling Brooke White. Before she gets to sing again Simon decides to spare us the fake drama and tells Megan she won't be saved after that "I didn't care" comment. Thanks, Simon. We were all sick of her after one performance. Of course, why did that comment seal her fate? Was it because she dared to treat Simon like he wasn't that important or because it indicated the competition wasn't a big deal to her? Either way I'm glad she's finally gone.

It's actually funny to watch her sing-out and realize that a girl this bad made it to a nationally-televised singing competition.

Power Rankings:

8. Scott MacIntyre - I think he had a "Bottom 3 bounce" this week (to go with a better-than-usual performance), but if he returns to his old form next week I think he's finally gone.

7. Anoop Desai - Just not good enough.

6. Matt Giraud - I have my doubts about how well he's connecting with the audience.

5. Lil Rounds - The new holder of the "opposite gender" slot. She's had three straight subpar performances. As Beldar Conehead would say, "unacceptable!" She has demographics on her side though, so she'll be in it this long.

4. Danny Gokey - Not marketable, not as good as the judges say he is and turning off more people every week with his smugness. Eventually the judges will stop pimping him and he won't be consistently in the green on DialIdol anymore.

3. Allison Iraheta - Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I think she's the best overall performer after Adam. She deserves to get this far, if not farther. I'm not positive it'll happen, but I'll go out on a limb and predict it.

2. Adam Lambert - Most people either love this guy or hate him. The hating him part means that those voters will back his opponent just to keep him from winning. There's no denying his talent or performance ability, so the fans that love him should keep him in it to the final week.

1. Kris Allen - I think he has some vocal weaknesses, but his artistry and inoffensiveness should help him pick up voters along the way. He has yet to be in the Bottom 3, so his fanbase is probably bigger than I realized. While he doesn't generate tons of excitement, he's likable and solid enough that he could sneak up and take the title.

Next week is the old Songs From the Year You Were Born theme. Great. Last year they did it and eight of the ten contestants had been born in the '80s. This year I believe it'll be seven of eight born in the '80s. Is this show really that devoid of new ideas?