Top 9 - Don't Download This Song

Hey, I saw that shoe commercial with a cameo from Brooke White before the episode began! Remember last year, when there were actually a few contestants I loved rather than a few I just liked?

Tonight the Idols can pick any song they want, provided it's a popular download on iTunes. Does this mean they have to choose from the technofied garbage that the radio is saturated with these days? Talk about retch-worthy. Fortunately, that turns out not to be the case.

Anoop Desai leads off with Usher's "Caught Up," and he has the backup singers onstage with him to start the performance. How nice of him to give them some face time. The vocals start out a bit iffy but improve over the course of the song. It seems like Anoop either starts out well and gets worse or he starts out poorly and gets better. At least with "Beat It" he was consistently bad from start to finish. I know it's not easy being up on stage, but Anoop looks slightly uncomfortable to me. It's hard to feel a performance like this when the singer doesn't seem like he fully believes in what he's doing. Randy says that vocally it was cool, but he's not sure about the song choice. Kara tells him he played it too safe. Paula says he needs to work on his stage presence. Simon says it was a complete and utter mess and that he came over as a wannabe with no originality. Sadly, I kind of agree with Simon. I thought it was decent at parts, but there was sort of a "trying too hard" vibe to it.

Ladies and gentlemen, your Megan Joy mess for this week will be Bob Marley's "Turn Your Lights Down Low." Ick, her nasal tone is particularly grating here, and her phrasing hasn't gotten any less annoying. The song is boring too. You know you have problems when the only thing that grabs your attention about a performance is how poorly it's sung. Kara really likes her but thinks she's in trouble. Paula says Megan needs to take us by surprise and do something more vulnerable. Simon calls it boring, indulgent and monotonous. Randy says it was like watching paint dry. Judges, did you honestly think she was going to be any good when you put her in the Top 13? Despite the criticism, Megan stands by her song choice after it's over. I can respect her for not trying to let the judges dictate who she is as an artist, but I can't respect her attempts at singing. She's not good. Sorry.

Danny Gokey's doing something a bit different this week: Rascal Flatts' "What Hurts the Most." Let's hope he does a better job with country music than he did on Grand Ole Opry Week. He gets to chat with Ryan about last week, and he tells us that the song was his fifth choice. We've heard that one before. They really need to get some new songs on this show. I genuinely liked the tone to Danny's voice in the beginning. It's grown to annoy me since then. While his voice sounds weird with this song, for the most part he pulls it off. I'm not a fan of his upper register, but overall he does a good job. Instead of going straight to the judges they pause for a few extra seconds to let the cheers rain down. Paula says that from the first note to the cadence he leaves her wanting more. Simon calls it the best of the night so far. Randy says tonight's show starts right here. Tonight's show starts here? I hate that cliche! Somebody shoot Randy in the foot for me. Randy also wants to see him move around more. Kara says he moved everyone in the room emotionally. All right, already. It was good, but it wasn't that good. Tone down the pimping here, judges.

Our crazy redhead Allison Iraheta is playing guitar with "Don't Speak." Uh-oh. This could be bad, as it's out of her usual zone. It starts out sounding better than I was expecting. Her guitar playing goes well with her vocals. She does sound like she's struggling a little on parts of the chorus, but she brings her usual rocker soul to it. It wasn't her best, but it was decent. Randy says she got a little ahead of the beat and brings up that he didn't like her outfit. Kara says the rock in her comes out no matter what she's wearing, and it felt like she was forcing too much. She then echoes my sentiments by saying it was good, but not her best. Paula compliments her vocals again and says she has her going to the finish line. I thought the finale was already determined to be Danny vs. Adam? Simon says it was like a slightly precocious daughter trying to be a rock star and accuses her of shouting the song. I think this could end up as Allison's first below-average performance on What Not to Sing, but I believe it deserves better.

Scott MacIntyre has a new hairstyle, which doesn't solve his biggest problem. The solution to that one is merely a good pair of shades. He's doing Billy Joel's "Just the Way You Are" with only the piano. He says he wants to show heart and emotion and hopes to turn things around this week. While his vocals still leave a lot to be desired (the cracking and bad notes are here as usual), this performance does have a more intimate, heartfelt feel to it. While I'm not "jumping out of my chair," I'll give Scott credit for managing to stay true to his style while making us see his passion. If he went down a more Billy Joel pop route than an adult contemporary pop route he might actually be a contestant to watch. Kara says he made a smart song choice and arrangement. Paula says she's most proud of him out of all the contestants. Simon calls it his best performance by a country mile so far. Randy calls it one of the best of the night, which is faint praise mid-show. As much as I've wanted Scott to go for the past few weeks, I think he's earned the right to stay just one more.

Oh no! Matt Giraud was in the Bottom 3 last week! How could such a thing have happened? Get over it, dude. It happens to just about everyone who appears on this show. Tonight he's picking a song for himself rather than to please the judges, The Fray's "You Found Me." He sings with a keyboard in the middle of the infamous "mosh pit." I think a few of these people surrounding him are security guards. The vocals really annoy me for some reason here. They sound like they should be good on paper, but there's something about them I don't like. The goat vibrato is distracting me more than usual. Whatever. Matt's pretty much always been boring. Paula says he aborted the things he did best and it was too soundalike. Aborted? Simon says he didn't get it at all and it seemed like he was trying to sound like someone else. Randy says it was the wrong song choice. Kara says he needs to commit to either the rock or the R&B side of pop, but he doesn't deserve to go home for it. I'm sure Matt's fans will give him an extra boost after the Bottom 3 scare last week, but I won't complain if we lose him.

It's time for the token diva. Let's get it over with. Lil Rounds is doing Celine Dion's "I Surrender." In the words of Barenaked Ladies, it's all been done before. Woo-hoo-hoo. She has another new hairstyle. Looks kind of Trenyce-ish. Now listen carefully kids. How much vibrato do you hear when Lil goes for those high notes? None, you say? Very good! Now what does that tell you? Need a hint? Oh heck, I'll just tell you. It means she's shouting them, not singing them. Her middle register has the vibrato, but her upper register is weak. It's time to face the facts: Lil just isn't that good. The whole diva thing has been done much better in past seasons. Randy says it wasn't a good song choice, but she sang it really really well. He wants her to "young it up" next time. Kara says Lil makes going "up there" effortless. Brilliant! Gloss over her biggest problem by acting as if it didn't exist. Paula says it was good, but she doesn't want to see an adult contemporary Lil Rounds. Yeah, I'm sure the teens will be clamoring to buy her album once she's off this show. Simon says she played it safe, compares it to a wedding performance and calls it too old-fashioned. Ryan talks to Lil's kids after the critiques and one of them gets a hug from Randy. Lil tears up. Yeah, yeah, it's the old "pimp the kids so the viewers forget the mediocre performance" routine.

Adam Lambert's here to do "Play That Funky Music." I guess it's fitting that he chose something Taylor Hicks did, as he's another frontrunner who rubs a lot of people the wrong way. His goal here is to make the song current. It seems that making it current means taking the funk out of it and slowing it down a little. Of course, his trademark wild, tongue-baring screams are there. Say what you will about Adam, he's never boring. I don't know if he makes the song better here, but it's certainly interesting and most importantly, entertaining. Paula says true genius shatters expectations, and that Adam has it. Simon says it was very brave and original, even if it won't make him more popular. Randy says he's in the star zone. Adam takes a minute to give Rickey Minor and the band some props for helping him with the arrangement. Good to see this whole frontrunner thing hasn't gone to his head too much. Kara says she can't wait to see what he'll do next each week. You and the rest of America, Kara.

That leaves Kris Allen with the pimp spot. Like Adam, he's trying to make his song current. His song choice? "Ain't No Sunshine." This guy sure likes fitting R&B/soul songs to his style, doesn't he? He's done Michael Jackson twice, Marvin Gaye and now Bill Withers. It's admirable that he does that rather than picking songs that already fit his style and just doing karaoke versions. Instead of the guitar he's rocking the keyboards tonight. Well, maybe not rocking, as this is a slow song. As usual, he sounds great and does a good job making it his own. My only complaint is that like Lil, his high notes tend to be a little shouty. For some reason I don't find it quite as bad, perhaps because I see actual artistry from Kris and not from Lil. Randy says Kris has been slaying it lately. Kara has three words: That. Is. Artistry! Take that, Simon! Paula says it could be the first cut from his album. Simon says he showed the confidence he needed and it was his best performance so far. Has this guy come a long way or what? First he was an uninvited guest in the Top 13, now he's almost a dark horse to win it. Good for him.

After they recap the numbers Megan stands behind Ryan doing a dumb dance and mouthing "vote" repeatedly. You're not funny. Go away.

My Performance Ranking:

Adam (8 out of 10)
Kris (7.1 out of 10)
Danny (7 out of 10)
Scott (6 out of 10)
Allison (6 out of 10)
Anoop (5.5 out of 10)
Matt (4 out of 10)
Lil (3 out of 10)
Megan (2 out of 10)

Prediction:

Bottom 3: Anoop, Allison, Megan
Going Home: Allison

I really hope I'm wrong here. Allison's become one of my favorites in the last few weeks. I think she has the same problem that hurt Alexis though. Her performance was OK, but not outstanding enough to make America vote out of sheer admiration for its awesomeness. It wasn't bad enough that her fans want to rush to her rescue either. While my initial gut feeling was to pick Anoop to go, I got several busy signals when dialing for him, which tells me his fanbase is still going strong. I never got one for Allison, which makes me think she hasn't established a solid fanbase yet. Honestly, if I had to choose between Allison and Anoop at this point, I'd rather keep Allison. There are too many guys already. As for Megan, she's clearly meant to be this year's contestant who won't go away. I don't think it's her time yet, though I can always hope.

Tomorrow we'll be seeing a David Cook performance that's several weeks old and Lady Gaga will be there too. Does anyone else find it ironic that you need to be a good singer to be a contestant on "Idol," yet they promote these crappy, overproduced dance fluff artists on their result shows? First Kanye West and now this. Then again, when has life ever made sense?