At Long Last We Have Our Top 36!

...but how did we get there? Let's go through what happened in this episode.

There are 54 contestants left, and they're brought to a mansion to learn whether they've earned a spot in the Top 36 or a plane ticket home. The judges already know most of their fates, but guess what? They're still undecided about a few, and those contestants will have to sing for their survival in the competition! Did they let them know this ahead of time so they could warm up their voices? If not, that's pretty unfair.

Since they have to make this tense and nerve-wracking for the contestants, they set up a long walk to get to the judges. Through the garden, up the stairs, down the hallway, into the luxurious living room, where our quartet of arbiters awaits, holding a future in the business of mass-marketed melodies within their figurative palms.

Moving on from my horrible, failed attempt to sound like Robin Leach, Anoop Desai is up first. He says he's gotten more and more confident as he's gone on, and the judges unanimously say yes. Awesome! Anoop's our first member of ther Top 36! Right now I'm not sure I'd mind if he were the last one standing as well. He's been great in all the Hollywood clips we've seen.

Von Smith is next, and he tells us he's more prepared for a no than a yes. He says singing is "why I'm alive." I wonder what it's like to be alive for something you're not good at? I kid, I kid. Von's got talent, he just needs to tone down his act. Von rambles about how he told his family about his song choice and they didn't like it. According to the clip they show, that song choice was "Sir Duke." Actually, I think that's a good choice for him. It allows him to go for the high notes without them seeming out of place, and the rest he'd have to try pretty hard to butcher with his screaming. After all the blabbering we find out he gets a yes. Hey, and his mother is there to share in his joy! I can't wait to see what Von does in the Semifinals. Will he be screamy-man again, or will he actually try to interpret something with subtlety? Either way, it could be entertaining.

Up next is fem-boy Cody Sheldon. While the judges talk to Cody, Alex Wagner-Trugman is on his way. Cody's going to have to sing a little something for them if he wants to make the Top 36. He chooses "Love Remains the Same," which sounds a bit off-key and breathy. Poor kid. When Alex gets there he realizes that it's him or Cody, and he doesn't want that, since Cody's his buddy. Alex chooses "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" for his sing-off. He doesn't sound great, but it's better than Cody's was. Come on, Alex. Stop sounding so timid! Alex tells Ryan outside that he thought he picked a key that was too high. Now for the moment of truth: Alex is in, Cody is out. So sad! Alex has a hard time being happy because his pal Cody's been cut. They go back to break the news to the rest of the group. Hugs abound. An older man who kind of looks like Alex gives him a kiss on the cheek. I sure hope that's his dad.

Adam Lambert is next. The judges think he's too musical theater, and Simon says they had to decide whether he'd be a good recording artist. The decision was unanimous, and it's not good news...IT'S GREAT NEWS! Didn't your heart stop a second there? Adam's in!

Taylor Vaifanua, AKA Jordin Sparks II, is the first girl whose fate we learn. She sang "If I Ain't Got You" for her final performance. She struggled with her group sing, which they never showed us. She was in Danny and Jamar's group, so perhaps that explains why we didn't see more of that performance. Anyway, she gets through. I was never that impressed with her, but the judges seem to love her.

Jasmine Murray makes it. No shock there.

Arianna Afsar makes it. I'm not terribly surprised.

Casey Carlson makes it. Well, OK.

Megan Corkrey makes it. Ah yes, the quirky divorced mom. I'm glad she hasn't gotten a ton of pimping, since I don't want to look at her tattoo sleeve.

Mishavonna Henson makes it. Mediocre singer we first met yesterday and fodder.

Stevie Wright makes it. That's nice.

Joanna Pacitti is next, and we know she'll get through because she's a plant. She tells us that she thinks she forgot the lyrics to every song she sang in Hollywood. And yet...she's still here. She tells the judges that she didn't think she showed them what she can do. Um, yeah. Forgetting the lyrics does tend to hinder one's display of singing ability. It turns out the judges' decision was unanimous: she's in the Top 36! Hooray! Now she can forget her lyrics on live TV!

OK, let me get this straight: Simon gives the contestants a dire warning every year in Hollywood: forget the lyrics and you're gone. Joanna forgot the lyrics in Hollywood at every turn. Each time she survived the cut. Now the judges unanimously decide to include her in the Top 36? I guess that "don't forget the lyrics" rule doesn't apply when you have more connections than a switchboard.

Like last year's mega-plant Carly Smithson, she's a crier. This is just great. Between tatted up Megan Corkrey and emotional plant Joanna we now have Carly in two people! If they both end up in the Top 12 they're going to feel my wrath. I'm sure they're scared already.

T.K. Hash is a no.

Chris Chatman is a no.

Reggi Beasley is a no.

So sad. Especially those last two who we never saw until now.

Kendall Beard is so nervous now! She apparently sang "Angel" in Hollwood, and the judges tell her she chose too many boring songs. Yeah, "Angel" is kind of boring. But what's the verdict? The answer isn't great...IT'S FANTASTIC! Whoa! What a fakeout! Kendall's in! She hyperventilates all the way back out.

Time for another sing-off, this time between Kristen McNamara and Jenn Korbee. Jenn apparently auditioned with her husband, and both made it to Hollywood. I'm surprised we never saw this oh-so-cute story. Her husband Tom apparently got cut after the group performance. Jenn sings "Not Ready to Make Nice," and her voice is nasal and unfocused. Not very good. Kristen's turn is next, and of course, they replay the Hollywood drama she was involved in for the hundredth time. She sings "I Will Always Love You," and her control is much better than Jenn's. She's no Whitney Houston, but she's clearly the superior singer of the two. When it's time for the decision, the judges tell Jenn that she doesn't emotionally connect and Kristen that she doesn't dress well. Well, which is more important to a singing competition? Isn't that what this allegedly is? The final result is (drumroll please): Kristen gets through. Simon says he disagreed with it, but we all know it's because Simon doesn't like white girls who have a few extra pounds. I've been impressed with Kristen's talent so far, so I'm glad she got through.

Boring old Alexis Grace is next, and she cries thinking about being apart from her daughter. We see a clip of her performing "Do Right Woman, Do Right Man" and she makes it through. I really hope she doesn't become a weekly sob story about missing her daughter.

Scott MacIntyre gets through, and Kara tells him it's unanimous that they want to see him again. Just rub it in, why dontcha?

Lil Rounds is an obvious yes with all the pimping she's gotten. Ryan tells us that she now has the chance to make a better life for her family. Pimp!

Felicia Barton, she of the large internet following but little screen time, gets a no.

Ashley Hollister gets a no, and guess what? It was unanimous! I'm sure that's comforting for her to know.

Devon Baldwin gets a no. We're all heartbroken. Two seconds later we're all over it.

Time for another sing-off. Frankie Jordan, the mom from Hollywood with an annoying nose piercing vs. Jessie Langseth, who we've never seen before and sounds horrible in all the clips they show us. Frankie faces the judges first, with Brandi Carlile's "The Story." It's not too impressive. Jesse goes in and sing's Nikka Costa's "Like a Feather." She sounds a lot better, but there's a weird affected-sounding jazziness to it. Simon says it was a horrible song. They both return, and the one who gets through is: Jesse. Simon tells Frankie she wouldn't have won anyway, and says Jesse has no chance of winning either based on her sing-off. Celebrate your fodder status, Jesse! Do something memorable!

I just want to interject that this commercial for BK Burger shots is hilarious!

Shera Lawrence gets cut. I guess there's only room for so many cuties.

Derik Lavers gets cut. Another guy we never saw until now. He's really emotional.

We're introduced to Allison Iraheta, who sang a really poorly overdone "Because of You" in Hollywood. She's kind of scary-looking, with her unnatural bright red hair and the face of Buster Poindexter (wow, that's the second time I've linked that video, and I don't even like it that much). She gets through. The judges make a few comments about her being a dark horse or something. Yeah right. She needs to have the performance of her life just to make the Top 12.

The Danny Gokey and Jamar Rogers storyline continues! "What if one gets cut and the other makes it?" asks Jamar. Yeah, what if?

Danny gets the news first, and he says he thought he did well considering the pressure. He says he knows that a singer should always see room for improvement. The judges ask if he thinks he's different, and he answers "oh yeah!" in sort of an "of course!" type of tone. He gets through (like we all knew he would), and Jamar cries for him outside.

Jamar's up next. Have I ever mentioned how annoying all his facial piercings are? My regular readers probably know I'm kind of an old-fashioned guy, and that I find tattoos, piercings, etc. very unappealing. Seriously, though. If I were Jamar I'd be afraid to fall asleep outside lest there be crows in the vicinity. The judges tell him his risks in Hollywood didn't pay off, and that he's a good singer but it's a no. Awww. Now Danny and Jamar are broken up! Everyone in the holding room is shocked when Jamar breaks the news. Even Jamar himself is shocked. I'm not, and not just because I saw the spoiler list. I've been saying he's too shouty for a long time now.

Ricky Braddy gets through. They briefly mentioned his name on last night's episode when they were switching rooms around, but we don't know anything about him. In other words: fodder with an almost 0% chance of making the Top 12.

Matt Giraud is through. Whoopee.

Ju'not Joyner is through. Par-tay.

Jorge Nunez is through. Hip hip hooray and yay.

Brent Keith is through. Tubular.

Stephen Fowler thought he did excellent until the last day of Hollywood when he forgot the lyrics. He says he's never buckled under pressure like that before. Still, he makes the Top 36 because the judges know his talent.

Nick Mitchell finally gets his turn. Could Norman Gentle actually make the voting rounds? He says he'll do anything, even wear a bikini like Bikini Girl. Wow. She was even known by that name to the other contestants. He says his passions are singing and making people laugh, and he convinces the judges that he really is serious about the whole Norman shtick. They like what they hear, and they tell him he's a yes.

Jackie Tohn is next, and we see her clip of "I Hope You Dance" from Hollywood. Her raspy voice is an interesting touch for that song. She gets a yes and starts wiggling around in excitement. She cries and says that her parents will be proud of her. Jackie's hard to read. She seems very laid-back and self-deprecating most of the time, but when that soft side comes out she's like a different person. I like her.

The infamous Tatiana Del Toro is next, and we get another montage of her crying and wackiness. She says that she's doing this for all the guys who said she had to sleep with them to get an opportunity. If she really did run into guys like that it's pretty sad. That has to be pretty degrading. She's totally giddy when she walks in to meet the judges, and Simon asks her to try not being annoying for once. Paula gives her the ring to some star jewelry set that she apparently came out with because Tatiana's a big fan of the five-pointed bling. Simon has to be cynical about it and says that Paula's just promoting her jewelry on TV. That may be the funniest line of the night. Anyway...it wasn't unanimous, but...she made it through! Tatiana's in the Top 36! She already has legions of haters, but she did prove her ability to sing. Tatiana cries and squeals all the way back to the holding room, where no one except Ryan wants to give her a hug.

Time for another sing-off. Jackie Midkiff sang "Superstition" in Hollywood, and now he sings "When a Man Loves a Woman" in hopes of staying in the competition. Kara's surprised they're undecided about Jackie, since he's so good. Really? He didn't sound that great to me. Jackie's opponent? Drama queen Nathaniel Marshall. Hold on a second there, fella! It's time for Nathaniel's backstory! He's lived with everyone in his family, because his mom is in prison for a drug problem. On that note, could he get cut now? He walks into the judges' room wearing an outfit Simon describes as "John McEnroe on a bad day." Nate says he's being true to himself if this is the last time they see him. He sings "I'm Already There" and sounds the best I think we've heard from him yet. Decison: Nathaniel gets through. Based on the sing-off I think they made the right choice.

Jeanine Vailes gets through. Who? More fodder.

Kai Kalama gets a unanimous yes. Oh boy.

Anne Marie Boskovich gets a yes. OK.

Kris Allen gets a yes. I guess we saw a few brief clips of him. He's still fodder.

Now it's down to one last sing-off. Matt Breitzke vs. Michael Sarver. Two burly white soul singers. Two family men. Two blue-collar workers. First it's Matt. He sings "Satisfied" and sounds just OK. Next is Michael who sings some song that goes: "When I wake up in the morning and I see you next to me I know everything is gonna be alright." He's just OK too. The result? It's a twist! Both get through! Well all righty then! I'm just glad this is finally over.

So now we have our complete Top 36:

Anoop Desai
Von Smith
Alex Wagner-Trugman
Adam Lambert
Taylor Vaifanua
Jasmine Murray
Arianna Afsar
Casey Carlson
Megan Corkrey
Mishavonna Henson
Stevie Wright
Joanna Pacitti
Kendall Beard
Kristen McNamara
Alexis Grace
Scott MacIntyre
Lil Rounds
Jesse Langseth
Allison Iraheta
Danny Gokey
Ricky Braddy
Matt Giraud
Ju'not Joyner
Jorge Nunez
Brent Keith
Stephen Fowler
Nick Mitchell
Jackie Tohn
Tatiana Del Toro
Nathaniel Marshall
Jeanine Vailes
Kai Kalama
Anne Marie Boskovich
Kris Allen
Matt Breitzke
Michael Sarver

The first group of 12 who'll perform next week are:

Casey Carlson
Stephen Fowler
Jackie Tohn
Ricky Braddy
Anne Marie Boskovich
Brent Keith
Alexis Grace
Michael Sarver
Stevie Wright
Danny Gokey
Tatiana Del Toro
Anoop Desai

At this early stage, who am I predicting for the Top 12? Here's my best guess (in no particular order):

1. Danny Gokey. The positive screen time king.

2. Lil Rounds. Pimpety-pimp-pimp-pimp.

3. Nick Mitchell. He's the most entertaining contestant.

4. Tatiana Del Toro. Hey, if her fortune teller says she makes it, that's good enough for me!

5. Anoop Desai. Anoop Dogg! Apparently has a large fanbase as well as one of the best voices.

6. Taylor Vaifanua. They need someone young. I could see her getting in as a Wild Card, since the judges seem to love her.

7. Adam Lambert. Plenty of screen time and talented too.

8. Scott MacIntyre. Isn't the blind (er...visually impaired) guy so inspiring?

9. Kristen McNamara. I think she's possibly the strongest girl we've seen.

10. Joanna Pacitti. Who are we kidding? She's a plant. If she doesn't get voted in the judges will select her as a Wild Card.

11. Matt Giraud. I know I said yesterday he wouldn't make the Top 12, but from what I've seen on the internet, quite a few people have warmed up to him.

12. Stephen Fowler. He's the fourth member of Group 1 on my list, and I think he's most likely to be picked as a Wild Card.

So that's how I see it. If even half of these are right I'll be proud of myself.

I can't wait for next week! Whoo! After that "whoo!" I feel obliged to throw in a "Soul Patrol!"

I'll probably put up another post sometime between then and now looking at the Top 36 in more detail. I'm not sure when I'll have the time, but doggone it, I'll make time!