Semifinal Group 2 - The Fodder Steps it Up (at least, some of them)

Where else can you find a welder, a bartender, a font designer and a comedian all on the verge of stardom? Certainly not on "American Idol," as few contestants on this show truly attain "stardom." There is a slight chance that maybe one of them could become a bonafide star though, so perhaps this is worth missing "Lost" for.

First up is young Jasmine Murray. Hey, I thought they were supposed to be pimping her! Why is she in the death spot? Which song does she choose on her way to a prospective career as a watered-down Jordin Sparks? "Love Song" by Sara Bareilles. Well, it hasn't been done on this show before, so that makes her more inspired than nine of the twelve from last week. She doesn't sound bad, but she doesn't really "wow" me either. She does a little of that overpronunciation that annoys me. Her stage presence is OK, but the best I can say about this performance it that it's merely decent. Randy says it was pitchy throughout and not the right song. Kara says she's very commercial, but it was all over the place. Paula says she gave it her all, but the pitch was bad. Simon thinks she entered the competition too early. Jasmine takes it all in stride and says she had a great time.

Matt Giraud's intro clip shows his performance of "Georgia" from Hollywood. I think that means they're pimping him. They saw what a positive reaction it got on the internet when it was shown before and they're hoping it'll bring him votes tonight. Nah, that can't be it. The producers of "American Idol" still deny that the internet exists. His song choice is another that's never been done: Coldplay's "Viva La Vida." OK, let me start by saying that I find Coldplay to be one of the most boring bands ever. I've never understood their incredible popularity. Matt's performance of this song is too breathy, the runs sound bad, and I think his voice cracks a few times. He tries to make it "soulful," but it just comes off as affected. Finally, it's good to have a legit reason for not liking him. Kara says she's not blown away, and that Matt needs a bluesy song. Paula says it was a risky song choice. Simon says it was verging on a horrible performance. Randy's pulling for him, but says he needs more complicated songs. I like how they give him the "it was a bad performance but we hope you get votes" response. I don't know if they laid it on thick enough to save him, though.

Now we come to our least-pimped contestant, and the bartender mentioned in the intro: Jeanine Vailes. I hope she does well enough that only her lack of screentime will keep her out of the Top 12. That'll show the producers that this "group" format needs to go. I'll probably vote for her tonight just out of fodder sympathy. Hey, she's from Washington, DC? I thought she was from California? These contestants keep changing their hometowns. She's doing Maroon 5's "This Love." Hmm, this could be interesting. It starts out with her voice too low and drowned out by the band, and it doesn't improve much from there. She tries to get into it and make it soulful near the end, but it just doesn't work. The runs and pitch are awful. Argh! Sorry, Jeanine, but this is really not good. Paula says she has great legs. I see they're doing it "Canadian Idol"-style tonight, where they rotate which judge speaks first. Simon says it was terrible and a bad song choice, but seconds the leg comment. Randy thirds the leg comment, seconds the bad song choice comment and says the best part was when it ended. Kara says it was overdone, to which Jeanine replies that she was trying to make up for her lack of screentime. I feel bad for her. She seems like a fun, smiley person who really wants this badly, but her performance did her no favors. Ah, what the heck. I'll give you some votes, Jeanine!

Nick Mitchell looks fairly normal before they cut to the break, but could Normund Gentle (apparently it's not "Norman") surprise us and end up performing on the "Idol" stage? Oh, the suspense!

Knowing it could be his one shot, Nick decides to break out Normund Gentle for his signature song: "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going." OK, this is brilliant. We've heard this song done by every wannabe diva, and now we get to hear someone crap on it, set it on fire and leave it on AI's doorstep. Nick (er, Normund) changes several lyrics to reflect his desperation to stay on the show, and removes his glasses and white jacket over the course of the song's ever-heightening emotion. He walks up to the judges' table and caresses the Idol logo, and when he ends the song at the "you're gonna loooooo-o-o-oooo-o-o-o-o-o-o-ooove..." part, he simply deadpans "me" instead of drawing it out. I haven't laughed this hard at an AI performance since Sanjaya's "You Really Got Me." This is truly a stroke of genius. The audience can't stop cheering. Simon hopes he's speaking on behalf of America when he hopes that Nick doesn't go through. Dude, you're British. Don't try to speak for America. Randy says it was one of the most entertaining performances ever on Idol, but the vocals weren't happening. Kara says it was memorable and he's not a terrible singer, but she doesn't see him in the music market. Paula says he's a true performer, but she doesn't know if this is the stage for him. I am so voting for this guy. This'll probably end up with What Not to Sing's highest standard deviation ever! I'm going on record as saying I loved it.

Next is fodder (er, teenager) Allison Iraheta. If she does "Hot Hot Hot" I'm going to laugh. She seems very uncomfortable chatting it up with Ryan and comes off as a little weird. Probably nerves. This is the 1000th performance in AI history. Will the milestone be memorable? Her song choice is "Alone" by Heart. Oh no. Please stop singing this song! The band drowns out her voice a little at first, but when she gets going she shows a surprising amount of vocal power. Her stage performance is somewhat amateurish, but the vocal is probably the best of the night. I'm impressed. Randy says she blew it out the box. Kara says Allison doesn't know how good she is and she has serious chops. Paula thinks she can sing the telephone book (brother, can we retire that cliche after hearing it every week last year with David Archuleta?) and that it was the best of the night so far. Simon says it was the best so far by a clear mile. Allison seems like a very spacey person. It'll be interesting to see how she does if she gets more confidence onstage (and advances in the competition).

Kris Allen is next, and they show us that in Hollywood he was known for playing his guitar. Tonight he's doing Michael Jackson's "Man in the Mirror." At least it's not an overdone song choice. The performance starts out slightly boring at first, but as the song picks up, so does the performance. He hits some incredible notes, and despite his face looking a little goofy at times, I actually really like this. This guy deserves some votes. Kara says the second half was better than the first, but it doesn't compare to what he did in Hollywood. Um, you are aware that contestants aren't allowed to play instruments in these Semifinals, right? Paula says he showed personality and nailed it, Simon pimps Danny Gokey by saying Kris isn't as good as him, but that he's proud of him. Randy says he proved he can do it without the guitar. Good on him. Rise above your fodder status, Kris!

Megan Joy Corkrey, now featuring her middle name and Keri Russell-ish curly hair, is the girl who annoys me the most, so that means she's getting through tonight. I just know the judges will pimp her for her cool jazzy quirkiness. They remind us that she has a son in the intro clip. Extra votes right there. Her song tonight? "Put Your Records On." Whoop-dee-doo, another overdone choice! Her jazz-isms throughout this song annoy me. She isn't really that great of a singer, but she seems to have a style that works for her, so we know the judges will love it. Ick. Paula says she did everything right. Simon calls her a "funny little thing," says she oversang the second part, and hopes America votes for her! AHHHHH! DON'T LISTEN TO SIMON YOU MORONS WHO VOTED FOR MICHAEL LAST WEEK! Randy says she did a nice, nice job. Kara calls her a "package artist," and says that with the right song she could have a hit. Ah, I give up. She'll be in the Top 12 despite her minimal talent. I think it's safe to start calling her the fourth member of the Top 12 I'm not thrilled with.

Blue-collar family man Matt Breitzke is next. Will his kid help him get through too? His song choice is Tonic's "If You Could Only See." Booooooooooooring. This song reminds me of how I started following "Canadian Idol" during its fifth season, and the guy who won was this dude named Brian Melo. I downloaded a bunch of ZIP files off Idolforums that had mp3's of each week's performances. I ended up deleting most of Brian's because he always picked such boring songs, and this was one of them. Jaydee Bixby may have come in second place, but he was much more entertaining than Brian will ever be. Sorry, back to the American version of this franchise. I like the soulful texture to Matt's voice on the slow part, but when the music rocks Matt doesn't. He just drones on tepidly. Such a boring song. Really forgettable. Simon hates the song and thinks it was boring. Randy seconds the boring. Kara says it was a poor song choice and he fell really flat. Paula says he has a good voice, but it was a poor song choice. Matt stands by his song choice because he loves it. Well, good luck with that attitude. Maybe if you go to Canada you can win "Idol" there.

Jesse Langseth is a single mom. Sheesh, her too? How many freaking contestants have kids this year? She's doing Kim Carnes' "Bette Davis Eyes" because she thinks it's one of the greatest songs ever written. Our first visual of her is a vampy silhouette. Some of the affected blues/jazz-isms are kind of annoying, but she clearly has a good voice. She's similar to horseteeth Megan, except she's better at what she does. Randy says it was just OK, but not exciting. Jesse asks what he'd like to see from her, and Randy says he wants her to stretch herself vocally. Kara says she took some risks and that there were some good moments. Paula says she's found her captivating throughout the competition, and that she's "just got it." Simon thinks she's forgettable. I kind of like her, though her talkative personality is slightly annoying.

Next is Kai Kalama. He's obviously not one of the pimped, since his mother is only briefly mentioned in his intro clip. If he mentioned that he takes care of her he'd get tons of votes. He's doing Jimmy Ruffin's "What Becomes of the Brokenhearted?" Sheesh, another boring song choice. Kai's vocals are good, but this song just doesn't rope you in. I don't have much to say about it except that I can't see how this would inspire people to pick up the phone. This is so middle-of-the-road it's not even funny. Kara says the song was too old-fashioned. Paula says she loves the throwback songs, and that Kai's got the chops to do well in the business. Simon compares him to a wedding or hotel singer, and says he should be singing backup. Randy says it was too safe. I think the judges said it better than I could. Then again, after this many performances my descriptive abilities get drained.

Mishavonna Henson is a really cute girl who promises not to let America down. She's singing "Drops of Jupiter," a song which bombed for Ace Young. Ergh, another bad song choice. Like Casey Carlson last week, she made the mistake of choosing a song that doesn't work from a female perspective. The vocals are on-key but lacking in power. It's extremely karaoke, but since she's fodder I'm voting for her anyway. Paula says she's a fan of Mishavonna's voice, but the song choice didn't excite her. Simon says it was technically good, but it left him cold. Randy says she needs to sing something young and didn't show off her voice enough. Kara says she needs to loosen up. Mishavonna says she's a lot more crazy than she lets on, and that we'll see the crazy if we vote for her. Sorry, Mishavonna. I don't think anyone but me, your friends and family will be voting for you.

And the pimp spot goes to...Adam Lambert. He's doing "Satisfaction" by the Rolling Stones. Hmmm. So he's going to show us his rock side tonight, eh? The song starts slow, with just a few strums of an electric guitar backing him, but then he kicks it up and starts going wild with it. He has an incredibly powerful voice, and thanks to his musical theater background he's clearly comfortable onstage. He's like Constantine Maroulis without the grease and possessing actual vocal talent. He lets out some crazy screams and makes them look effortless. This is really dang good. He totally rocks it and makes it his own. He'd be perfect for an '80s hair metal band, and I happen to like that style, so he's cool with me. Now it's pimping time. Paula says it was like watching an Adam Lambert concert. Simon says some parts were excruciatingly bad and some parts were brilliant, and that it was a "love it or hate it" performance. Randy loves it and says Adam is one of the most current contestants out there. Kara says his vocal technique is outrageous. I don't think Adam needs my votes tonight.

My performance ranking:

1. Nick (9.5 out of 10)
2. Adam (9 out of 10) (Adam's was obviously better technically, but I enjoyed Nick's more)
3. Kris (7.5 out of 10)
4. Allison (7 out of 10)
5. Jesse (6 out of 10)
6. Jasmine (5.1 out of 10)
7. Kai (5 out of 10)
8. Matt B. (4.5 out of 10)
9. Mishavonna (4 out of 10)
10. Megan (3.9 out of 10)
11. Matt G. (3.5 out of 10)
12. Jeanine (3 out of 10)

Predictions after the performances:

I was tempted to be really cynical here and say that the three with kids, Megan, Matt B. and Jesse get through, but I'll try to be more realistic.

Top male vote-getter: Adam. He rocked it and gave the most technically proficient performance of the night.
Top female vote-getter: Megan. She'll get through for no good reason just like Michael did last week. Freaking judges.
Third seat: Nick. Come on. That was awesome on so many levels.

Whom I voted for: Jeanine, Nick, Allison, Kris, Jesse, Mishavonna

I got some interesting results when dialing. My predictions may end up being wrong. Oh, I do hope so! OK, that sounded...yeah.